These days it takes a certain something to make an awards show stand out.

This is true when the awards are being given out for movies, television, music, and even videogames. Faced with what can only be described as a shit-ton of videogame awards to compete with, the fine folks at the UK-based Develop Magazine came up with their own unique spin on the tired awards show formula.

Irony.

Yes, when Develop assembled a panel of “industry experts” for it’s Develop Industry Excellence Awards, they must have taken them aside and advised them that the reaction they were hoping for was not just the usual fanboy ranting, but a slack-jawed look of absolute incomprehension from the gamers across the globe.

First stop on the Irony Express is the award for innovation.

The winner?

Crackdown.

Yes, the Xbox 360 game you got for free when you paid $60 for the Halo 3 Beta was apparently the most “thrillingly original” thing in videogames this past year.

For those of you who might not have played Crackdown, the main character is a bad-ass police officer looking to bring order to a dystopian city of the near future that’s been overrun with crime and gangs. The gameplay involves you roaming around the city, completing missions, collecting power-ups, competing in car races, or just blowing shit up.

You know, things that no videogame has ever featured before.

That dull roaring noise you’re hearing is the sound of every Nintendo fan reacting to this award by clutching their Wiimotes in their white-knuckled hands and gnashing their teeth in rage. Sorry, Wii Sports fans, no rocket launcher means no innovation. Better luck next year.

Then there’s their choice for “Publishing Hero.”

Sega.

The word “hero” is overused these days, but if cranking out endless, ever-crappier sequels to Sonic The Hedgehog isn’t heroic, what is? Sure, you may have rescued some orphans from a burning building, but did you publish Virtua Fighter 5 and Medieval 2?

On a side note, I’m starting a petition to have Activision create a game called “Publishing Hero,” in which gamers can use a manuscript-shaped controller to experience the thrilling world of professional book publishing. You thought playing “Freebird” on Expert was hard? Try proofreading the latest Thomas Pynchon novel on Erudite. It’ll be eye-straining fun for the whole family!

Since the videogame industry, unlike other forms of entertainment, is dominated with sequels and remakes, it’s good that Develop set aside an award for “Best New Intellectual Property” to help celebrate and encourage those brave developers who bring fresh, new ideas to gaming rather than repeating tired old formulas.

The winner?

The PlayStation 3 game MotorStorm.

Take a moment to join with me in saluting the sheer creative genius required to develop a videogame about off-road racing, not to mention the steely determination it must have taken the developers to convince Sony’s marketing team to approve such a radical new gaming concept.

Develop dropped the biggest irony bomb with their “Grand Prix” award for overall excellence.

The winner?

Sony.

Just in case you thought the last year has been a dismal parade of endless fuckups and missteps for Sony and their PlayStation 3, you obviously didn’t get the news that it’s really been

Quick, someone tell Sony to re-hire Ken Kutaragi!

What makes this even more ironic is that we’re talking about a bunch of European videogame experts touting how awesome Sony and the PlayStation 3 are. This is, of course, the same Sony that delayed the European launch of the PS3 after promising a world-wide launch. And the same Sony that removed the PS2 “Emotion Engine” chip from European launch PS3’s so that unlike North American and Japanese launch PS3’s they would lack 100% backwards compatibility with PS2 games, without reducing the price of the PS3 in Europe. And yes, the same Sony that recently announced that an upcoming version of the PS3 with a roomier 80GB hard drive would be sold pretty much everywhere but Europe.

So why would anyone in Europe think that Sony was overall the most excellent videogame company of last year?

I’m sure it has to do with Develop wanting to stand out from the videogame awards crowd by flaunting it’s new-found sense of irony, and nothing at all whatsoever with the fact that Sony was the “Platinum Sponsor” for the lavish conference during which Develop announced these awards.

Not to imply that money could influence something as sacrosanct as videogame awards, of course. I mean, if Sony sent me a free PlayStation 3, it would have absolutely no influence on my objective journalistic opinion of their creative or financial efforts.

Hint, hint.