My City is Better Than Yours, Fuckheads!
I live in San Francisco. The vast majority of you idiots reading this do not. My city is better than yours. Period. No argument.
Now, Im not simply throwing this out there willy-nilly. Sure, everyone thinks their city is the best (except for those of you living in Fresno or Denver or something) but I have actual proof. And Im not even talking about proof in the our-weather-is-better kind of way or the have-you-seen-our-views!? kind of way. Im talking about actual scientific proof.
Freals, assholes.
Richard Florida, a professor from George Mason University and author of the book The Rise of the Creative Class argued that the more "gay-friendly" a city is, the more economically prosperous it will be.
In his March 2007 paper "There Goes the Neighborhood," Florida uses something he calls the "Bohemian-Gay Index" to demonstrate that "artistic, bohemian, and gay populations" have a "substantial effects on housing values across all permutations of the model and across all region sizes." He also found that more open and "gay-friendly" areas generally support higher income levels.
This morning on CNN's In the Money, Florida argued that educated kids are generally moving to the most "gay-friendly" cities after graduating from college because those cities tend to have the best job markets.
Thats right. I know youre jealous, but its not my fault your cities arent as rad as mine. By definition, no city can be more gay friendly than San Francisco. Thus, all of the cool people are naturally attracted here. I didnt look this up or anything, but Im pretty sure that on a scale of 1-10, San Franciscos Bohemian-Gay Index is going to be approximately a 150. By contrast, Im figuring that a place like Boston or New York would be like a 17, Houston or Detroit would be a 5 and LA would be about a 2.75 (because if Los Angelenos were creative at all they would surely be able to think of a better place to live than Los Angeles.)
How does this more gays equals more money equation work? Well, Professor (and future SF Mayor) Florida has this to say.
"Places that were open to gay and lesbian people were also the kind of places that could attract not only smart young people, but also Indian and Chinese immigrants who come here and start a lot of high tech companies," he said. "They were attracting people across the board, building up a talent base, and then innovating and starting these new enterprises."
Florida said he thinks it is the open mindedness of these cities that has allowed economically successful communities to emerge, rather than prior economic success attracting open minded people.
"Places that a large gay and lesbian community gravitated to, a large group of musicians and other open minded people gravitated to. When these kind of geeky entrepreneurs became important economic growth, those were the places that accepted them, too," he told CNN.
The full story of how much exactly everyone should envy me for my area codes overwhelming personal, cultural and economic superiority can be found here. In case youre more of a passive learner, I've included some clips of the good professor explaining things. He yammers on a bit about the power of creativity and how that creativity leads to greater intelligence, cultural relevance and competitive economic ability, but dont lose sight of what you should really be taking from his work: that San Franciscans are better than you.
Were you counting how many more times San Francisco (or its surrounding areas) were mentioned vs. how many times any other city was mentioned? Because I was, and it was twice as much as any other city. That makes the Baghdad by the Bay twice as good. It's simple mathematics and everyone else can eat a dick.
I suppose it is also worth discussing his ancillary point, because the idea that artistic and cultural creativity is a strong indicator of economic prosperity makes a lot of sense. Furthermore, the idea that artistically and culturally creative people are attracted to open-minded areas where risk-taking and divergent lifestyles are accepted makes even more sense. Whats more, the numbers seem to bear it out. The areas of the country that are known for fostering an open, creative environment are our current centers of industry. The areas of the country who are not, simply arent.
But again, thats the secondary point. The real lesson to take from this is that the more you other plebes try to make your city like San Francisco, the better off youll be. Not just in the intellectual, cultural or existential senses, but in the pocketbook as well. Now get going, kids, and good luck. Youre gonna need it, suckers!
This is the 100th article I have been fortunate enough to write for the SuicideGirls.com Newswire. Id like to earnestly thank those who have let me write and those who have bothered to read. Its been a great time, and very rewarding for me. Thanks again, and Ill see you around.
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joenov15
Dallas, TX
December 2005
JUL 22, 2007 04:47 PM
DeuceLAMF
Austin, TX
April 2005
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USA
November 2005
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September 2004
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San Bernardino, CA
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SUICIDEGIRL
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San Francisco, CA
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San Bernardino, CA
July 2002
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USA
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Los Angeles, CA
March 2003
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Iraq
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Summerstown, ON
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