When you go to a Gay Pride Parade, you expect to witness certain, almost iconographic sights. Drag queens. Men in leather. Men wearing silver speedos. And of course, lesbians riding motorcycles.

For over 30 years, the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade’s motorcycle-riding lesbian needs have been met by a non-profit organization officially called the San Francisco Women's Motorcycle Contingent, or as they’re much more commonly known, Dykes On Bikes.

In addition to their mission “to support philanthropic endeavors in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and women's communities and beyond, and reach out to empower a community of diverse women through rides, charity events, Pride events and education,” the SFWMC has been struggling to get “Dykes On Bikes” trademarked.

The SFWMC first filed their trademark application back in 2003, after discovering that a woman in Wisconsin was planning to trademark “Dykes On Bikes” in order to launch a clothing line. Since this would have allowed her to charge all Dykes On Bikes chapters for the right to use the name, the SFWMC wanted to make sure they retained control over the “Dykes On Bikes” name they’d been riding under since 1976.

What Dykes On Bikes and their lawyers assumed would be a quick approval process turned into a four-year legal battle, starting when attorneys for the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office rejected the SFWMC’s application twice on the grounds that the word “dyke” was disparaging to lesbians.

Yes, this is the same US Patent and Trademark Office that approved the apparently inoffensive trademark applications for both “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” and the “Crippled Old Biker Bastards.”

The Wisconsin woman who wanted to trademark “Dykes On Bikes” dropped her claim after the first refusal, but now it was a matter of principle for the SFWMC and their supporters. Over the next two years, lawyers for the SFWMC produced a small mountain of examples of the word “dyke” being reclaimed in a positive way by the lesbian community to counteract the claims by the US Patent and Trademark Office, which primarily hinged on citing online dictionaries that defined “dyke” as disparaging or offensive. Finally in December of 2005, the US Patent and Trademark Office changed their minds and approved the application. This started a 30-day period during which members of the public could file legal opposition to the “Dykes On Bikes” trademark if they felt that registration of that trademark would cause them harm.

That’s exactly what happened.

Michael J. McDermott, a man living in San Francisco, filed a formal opposition to Dykes On Bikes being granted a trademark, claiming that the word “dyke” was offensive to men:

He also claimed that granting the trademark would be “scandalous and immoral” because it would involve the government endorsing what he claimed were the illegal activities of Dykes On Bikes:

For those of you who are thinking “Wow, San Francisco actually sponsors an Anti-Male Dyke Hate Riot?”, he’s referring to the San Francisco Dyke March. The “criminal attack and civil rights violation” he mentions involved one time when he was made to move out of a crosswalk during said Dyke March, or as he defined it:

As hilariously out of touch with reality as these objections were, Dykes On Bikes were compelled to once again legally defend their name and trademark, this time in front of the USPTO's Trademark Trial and Appeal Board. It took until September of 2006 for the Board to toss out McDermott’s opposition, but they did get bonus humor points for citing a previous trademark case involving “Black Tail” magazine.

McDermott, acting as his own legal counsel (or “appearing pro se,” which is Latin for “I can’t believe I couldn’t convince a lawyer to take my money”), appealed to the US Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit who finally on July 11th ruled 3-0 in favor of Dykes On Bikes.

So now, nearly four years after they first applied, a fully trademarked and legally declared non-disparaging to any gender Dykes On Bikes can now rev their engines with pride (and at Pride) without fear of anyone stealing their name for a quick buck.

Oh, and if anyone has a “San Francisco Anti-Male Dyke Hate Riot ‘07” shirt I can borrow, let me know.