News > Culture > Pope Benedict XVI: One True Faith Are Belong To Us

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FRIDAY JULY 13 2007 4:00 PM

Pope Benedict XVI: One True Faith Are Belong To Us

Submitted by Uncognitive

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Pope, religion, Christianity, controversy

Imagine if Dick Cheney had become President right after Ronald Reagan left office, only with more elaborate hats, and youd have a good idea of the uphill task that faced Pope Benedict XVI when he was tapped to replace one of the most beloved Popes in recent history, John Paul II, back in 2005.

True to the nickname Gods Rottweiler he earned back when, as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he was calling liberation theology a singular heresy and declaring that gays possessed an intrinsic moral evil, Pope Benedict XVI has decided that the best way to follow in John Paul IIs footsteps is to piss everybody off.

So, who has the Pope managed to offend so far?

First in line to get angry, and stop me if youve heard this one before, were Muslims.

Back in September 2006, Pope Benedict XVI thought itd be a really good idea to make a speech in which he quoted a 14th Century Byzantine emperor:

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

When Muslims around the word expressed their outrage, Pope Benedict XVI claimed that the quote didnt really express his personal thoughts about Islam, which is somewhat like yelling Fuck you, you fucking fuck! at a stranger and then saying they shouldnt be angry since you were just quoting Blue Velvet.

Next stop on the Fuck You, Im The Pope tour were the Jews.

Recently Pope Benedict XVI gave permission for Catholic churches to resume the use of the old-school Tridentine Mass. Also known as the Latin Mass, use of the Tridentine Mass had been widely restricted as part of the reforms and changes ushered in by the Second Vatican Council (or Vatican II: Electric Boogaloo). While the Popes edict relaxing those restrictions was first seen as merely a sop to conservative Catholic groups, Jewish groups pointed out that the modern version of Tridentine Mass, dating back to the mid-1960s, includes a Good Friday prayer for the conversion of Jews to Christianity:

"Let us pray for the Jews, that the face of the Lord our God may shine on them so that they too recognize the redeemer of all, Jesus Christ, our Lord."

The response from the Pope? In a nutshell, Theres nothing derogatory about that. To be fair, hes comparing it to the original 16th Century version:

Let us pray also for the faithless Jews: that our God and Lord may remove the veil from their hearts; that they also may acknowledge Our Lord Jesus Christ. Let us pray. Almighty and Eternal God, Who dost not exclude from Thy mercy even the faithless Jews: hear our prayers, which we offer for the blindness of that people; that acknowledging the light of Thy Truth, which is Christ, they may be delivered from their darkness.

So remember, its a gesture of ecumenical outreach to pray to God to convert Jews to Christianity, as long as you dont call them names.

Having angered two out of the three major monotheistic Western religions, Pope Benedict XVI then went for the hat trick and took on other Christians.

To celebrate the Feasts of St. Peter and St. Paul, Pope Benedict XVI revisited an old favorite topic and announced that all Protestant churches really arent churches at all because they lack a direct link to the Apostles and thus lack the means of salvation. He then gave a reluctant semi-shout out to the Eastern Orthodox Church, claiming that while it did technically count as a church and had many elements of sanctification and of truth, it was wounded (or defective, depending on how you translate your Latin) by not acknowledging the Popes authority, only not as "profoundly wounded" as Protestant churches were.

I guess its never too late to tell Martin Luther to piss up a rope.

Many observers, Catholic and otherwise, are worried that these are the first steps of Pope Benedict XVI attempting to turn the Catholic dogma clock back a century or two and undoing the reforms of Vatican II, especially when it comes to relations with other religions. Pope Benedict XVI claims that hes merely clearing up erroneous or ambiguous liberal interpretations of Vatican II, and apparently his conservative views have helped increased both donations to the Catholic church and the number of pilgrims visiting the Vatican.

So if you belong to a religious faith that Pope Benedict XVI hasnt insulted yet, you might want to send him a postcard and remind him.

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Comments

Ferretbite

Mexico

September 2006

JUL 13, 2007 05:45 PM

I don't think there's any need to discuss the unfortunate comments about the muslims which were taken out of context and misinterpreted, so let's go straight to the "news" this time:

Permission was given to go back to the Latin version of your sunday catholic church, because some members of the tribe clamored for this; thus, because it was not an absolutely innovative idea that would bring down centuries of tradition, the wish was granted. The thought that this means the rite's going back to preaching against the jewish people, that women will have to cover their heads one again, priests will face the altar all the time, seats will be removed, and men and women shall remain in their own section of the building, not talking or exchanging looks.

It is also the doctrine of the Church to not recognize "sects" or "cults" as the "one true religion" which doesn't mean that those who adhere to them would not be allowed into Heaven, even by the catholic book, there's more than one road to salvation.

Plus it's only natural that the Head of an organization will tell its members "we're the winning team"... What, do you expect the US president to tell you all US citizens "you know what, our country kinda sucks, why don't you adopt a different nationality see if you like it, if you don't you can come back" or Bill Gates promoting the new exciting iPhone.

ogichida30

Concord, CA

September 2004

JUL 13, 2007 05:54 PM

SignalNoise said:
I'm looking forward to Benedictd's next decree: Holy Hand Grenades for all!

The holy handgrenade of Antioch

mydcmbr81

Wesley Chapel, FL

October 2003

JUL 13, 2007 05:59 PM

ogichida30 said:

SignalNoise said:
I'm looking forward to Benedictd's next decree: Holy Hand Grenades for all!

The holy handgrenade of Antioch

For that I would convert...... nah nevermind, I don't encounter many evil bunnies.

unfiltrator

San Francisco, CA

April 2004

JUL 13, 2007 06:16 PM

paavopetie

Lawrence, KS

November 2004

JUL 13, 2007 06:51 PM

It's the age old war between religions. "My religion is the ONE TRUE RELIGION!" It's great because some of the Protestants don't even think Catholics are Christians. Here's a Chick track explaining some of their logic.

Esoteric

Portland, OR

January 2005

JUL 13, 2007 07:31 PM

WyattForMayor said:
Gee who would have thought this is what you get when you make a NAZI a pope...

Yeah right. Nazi my ass. Yes he was in the Hitler Youth, but almost everybody in Germany was involved in some kind of nazi organization when he was young. It was just like in Russia, the only way to get ahead was to prove your allegiance to communist ideals, and the only way to do that was to join the communist party.

Ratzinger never shot anyone, he never gassed anyone, he had no knowledge of the holocaust (and almost no one in Germany did either before the end of the second world war).

But he's got balls, he's not afraid to piss people off, and he stays true to his beliefs. So I like him....and I'm not even a christian.

Untimely

Chicago, IL

January 2007

JUL 13, 2007 07:48 PM

paavopetie said:
It's the age old war between religions. "My religion is the ONE TRUE RELIGION!" It's great because some of the Protestants don't even think Catholics are Christians. Here's a Chick tract [sic] explaining some of their logic.

Yep, it's true. But the Pope's a free-thinking individual with a tremendous voice, and he's got a choice about whether to accept some kind of pluralism, or to continue to incite anger and perpetuate the same bullshit we've been enjoying for thousands and thousands of years. Jack Chick is just as much a dick, too, so of course, the same goes for him.

Instead of condemning everyone else, can't he accentuate the positive and tell us what's so wonderful about his made-up mythology --- err, I mean, religion?