News > Culture > I Used to Have Cancer. Now I Just Have Herpes!

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WEDNESDAY JULY 11 2007 4:00 PM

I Used to Have Cancer. Now I Just Have Herpes!

Submitted by Rahodeb

Edited by Rahodeb

It's like fighting fire with fire. Except, wellmaybe it's more like fighting a 5-Alarm fire with a 4th of July sparkler, if the 4th of July sparkler could kick the 5-Alarm fire's ass, that is. In any case, a group of resourceful scientists have genetically modified the cold sore-causing Herpes virus so that it grows in specific cancer cells, killing them in the process.

"It doesn't replicate in normal, healthy cells, so our hope is that it will help fight cancers without causing side effects in the rest of the body," Dr. Axel Mescheder, vice president of clinical research and development for MediGene, said in a prepared statement. MediGene is a German biotech company based in Munich.

Mescheder reported safety and efficacy results and described the case of a patient whose liver tumors appeared to be reduced six months after treatment with the virus.

Almost 40 percent of patients with colorectal cancer die, because cancer spreads to other parts of the body, particularly the liver. The results reported by Mescheder follow testing in the lab and in animals where the virus was shown to be effective at killing colorectal cancer and liver cancer cells.

Take that, colon cancer! You thought you were so tough, but your ass got kicked by Herpesand not even the hard-core genital kind, just wee little oral Herpes. Loser.

I know that the genetically altered virus is reportedly safe for healthy tissue and all that jazz, but seriously, even if it wasn't, who wouldn't happily trade colon cancer for Herpes?

"I Used to Have Cancer. Now I Just Have Herpes! Yippee!"

What I want to know is, what's next on the scientists' agenda? Maybe curing Herpes with Cancer?

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Comments

BDeyeD

Toronto, ON

January 2007

JUL 11, 2007 04:10 PM

Um... wouldn't that be a bitch of a decision to make?

Speechless313

Korea, Republic Of

May 2007

JUL 11, 2007 04:13 PM

.... .... (deep breathe) .... (exhale) ...... at a loss for words. Great breakthrough, but...is it? I'm speechless.

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

JUL 11, 2007 04:13 PM

BDeyeD said:
Um... wouldn't that be a bitch of a decision to make?

Well, one is a perpetual embarrassing nuisance and one will straight-up kill you. I don't know, given the choices I think I could live with the nuisance.

jackcrowder

Baytown, TX

August 2005

JUL 11, 2007 04:15 PM

My father, towards the end, was on several experimental treatments at MD Anderson Cancer Hospital. One of them was something akin to this. If not this because towards the end, he now had herpes because of the treatment. He had CLL.

Kleio

Winona, MN

January 2006

JUL 11, 2007 04:18 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

BDeyeD said:
Um... wouldn't that be a bitch of a decision to make?

Well, one is a perpetual embarrassing nuisance and one will straight-up kill you. I don't know, given the choices I think I could live with the nuisance.

Fuck, I've already had the wussy oral herpes for years. I only ever get an outbreak maybe once or twice a year, and I can make the sore go away within about two days. Even if I get it more frequently, killing the cancer dead is a serious improvement.

Wicked.

BrotherHeathen

Witter, AR

November 2006

JUL 11, 2007 04:19 PM

Seeing as so much of america already has oral herpes (how many cold sores do we see throughout the winter?), who cares?

Also, if the strain only grows in cancer cells, then it's not going to present as a cold sore anyway.

And even if it was genital herpes... that just requires careful attention to detail and it isn't a completely horrible thing. Death... death is horrible. I'd take a life of masturbating over porn as my only sexual outlet (if you want to go to extremes) to a lack of life any day.

mamet

Charleston, SC

March 2005

JUL 11, 2007 04:28 PM

BDeyeD said:
Um... wouldn't that be a bitch of a decision to make?

I don't think it would be difficult at all. Hell, even if it were genital herpes, I'd be filling my Valtrex prescription with pride.

KGJohnson

Las Vegas, NV

October 2005

JUL 11, 2007 04:31 PM

I've had oral herpes nearly my entire fucking life, but like Kleio said, its usually gone in a couple days anyway. and like bardsatyr said: they claim it only effects cancer cells. So score one for medicine!

Rin

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

JUL 11, 2007 04:35 PM

my mom gets really awful oral herpes that last a week or two a few times a year. i would DEFINITELY take that over cancer. there really is no comparison.

DCruz

Montreal-nord, QC

November 2006

JUL 11, 2007 04:37 PM

why not, I'd rather have something less threatening than cancer !

doolittle

Mesa, AZ

December 2004

JUL 11, 2007 04:40 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

BDeyeD said:
Um... wouldn't that be a bitch of a decision to make?

Well, one is a perpetual embarrassing nuisance and one will straight-up kill you. I don't know, given the choices I think I could live with the nuisance.

no shit, i don't even see a choice there, just a smart decision.

and hooray for medical breakthroughs!!