John Lennon wrote that song.

Thank you!

It does chap a bit that I never once heard any of our elders whisper "when is she gonna get a job?" while I was supporting my wife through school... now that our roles are reversed I feel the brunt of those quiet comments... you just want to scream sometimes... "I'll get a job when I'm done with school you idiots!!!" What were they expecting? That I'd drop out (again) and go back to work as a peon in the tech industry at 1/5 my wife's salary? Do they think I'm slow?

While there is certainly some pressure that anyone feels when they are fulfilling a non-traditional role in their society... I feel like I've grown immensely as a person having had this opportunity. I have so much respect for full time parents and even more for single parents now, and I think I probably would have missed out on this perspective had I just continued working when our son was born. I'm certain that the gents I worked with would not have done anything to dissuade me from the generic societal opinion of stay-at-home-moms. Truth is, I sometimes catch a little flak from my wife (like she thinks I'm home eating bon-bons all day, haha)... but it doesn't bother me cause I know both sides of the story.

So much of that rang true for me. Please, more articles like this!

Dear BitchPHD,
This article was my favorite thing you have ever written, and I've read pretty much every article you've written on here, and many of the ones you've put on your website/blog.
I guess that's all.

I agree..lets level the playing field and tell everyone to fuck off and mind their own business..Women should be paid exactly the same as men no matter what field they are in..Good insight!

Well said Bitch_PhD.

Though I often don't agree with Bitch's ways of going about things, I agree with this one.

Fuck just pay, everything should be as equal possible.

That article was interesting, but I think the main problem women face now is internalising the sexist stereotypes that surround them. It's maybe not that they always come across barriers in the workplace; is it possible that alot of women just don't try for certain goals because it's not 'the norm', and that becomes a self-perpetuating cycle?

Still, I don't understand why women are the invisible gender. There are as many women as there are men, so why are women such an incredibly small minority, in every career from politicians to comedians to snowboarders and CEOs?

A friend who works for HSBC told me about a recent conference they went to, where there were a couple of hundred men but only two women there. A speaker at the conference, who was female, found out the names of the two women at the conference and started her talk by saying (instead of 'hello, ladies and gentlemen'), 'hello gentlemen, and Anna and Monica'.

I think the main problem is that women are socially conditioned to feel they only 'belong' in certain careers, such as teachers, nurses, artists or the lower, entry-level positions in male dominated industries.

The other part of me wonders if feminism is just acting as a 'timebomb' - in the next 10 or 20 years, the women who were educated in the more egalitarian 80s and 90s will start going after the 'top jobs' and redress the gender balance.

I agree. One of the primary keys to gender equality is equality in pay. Jenny has a good point concerning internalizing gender roles too, though. I don't know any bulemic/anorexic men, although I assume they exist, and I don't think "bigism" really compares (or body dismorphia or whatever). I think though at least to a small extent that our society is changing in regard to classifying women who are unnaturally thin as uber-sexy. I personally feel to limit beauty to any build is a disservice to the concept. Hopefully one day, but probably not for a very long time, economic equality will broaden to true equality. Not in my lifetime, though.

Are you being intentionally ironic by giving John full credit?

that's what a lot of people thought, too--that it was just a "pipeline" problem and now that all these girls raised to believe they can do anything they set their minds to are going to come busting through the gates and take the fuck over.

but now that my generation (educated in the 80s/90s) is in the workforce, i realize the problem is that the same inequalities that fundamentally affect women are still in place. employers assume women are going to get married and switch to part time (or quit entirely) once they have kids and are thus less likely to put women in the "top jobs" in the first place, thinking that women don't prioritize work. very few men ever take paternity leave, and the ones who do may be thought of by their colleagues as lazy.

the workplace is still organized around men, which itself drives women out. when women face the same hurdles they have been and try to walk that famous family-career balance and find it too difficult, they're opting out, leaving the men in the "top jobs" (the kind that demand availability to work 24/7), so nothing is really changing.

Hah, I actually forgot that was from when he was with Yoko. What can I say; it was late.