
PETA president Ingrid Newkirk has issued an interesting letter in response to Michael Moore's latest film Sicko. She takes no issue with his disingenuous, heartstring-yanking tactics (duh, she's the president of PETA.) In fact, she starts things off nicely enough by congratulating him on the initial good reviews his film has received. Then she hits him with this:
Although we think that your film could actually help reform Americas sorely inadequate health care system, theres an elephant in the room, and it is you.
Ouch! How is the portly purveyor of well-intentioned half-truths supposed to respond to this? On the one hand, she's just validated his alleged reason for being on this earth, i.e. bringing about much-needed reform through highly selective "case studies" and ironic vintage interludes. But on the other, she just called him a big fucking tub of fatty-fatty-fat-fat. Newkirk claims to be worried about his "weighty health problem" and wants to help him "fix that." She's only insulting you for your own good, tubby!
I'm sure that your fans would appreciate having you around longer!
See? Tough love, pure and simple (you enormous fucking slob.)
PETA's solution to obesity, of course, is to stop eating tortured dead animal parts. Newkirk then goes on to outline several facts about how going vegetarian can improve your health: reduced risk for heart attacks, obesity, cancer...all good points. She challenges him to take the 30 Day Veg Pledge, which she says, "can satisfy you easily" while teaching him about the benefits of not eating like some sort of horrific carnivorous elephant. She urges him to focus his "personal lens" on" the benefits of vegetarianism" and "meat's impact on America's health," i.e. make a propagandistic movie about it. Kind of like Supersize Me, only in reverse. Sub-size me? Not as catchy. We'll work on it.
Newkirk ends the letter by tempting him with recipes for healthy vegetarian treats like "faux fried chicken," and asks him to "lead the charge for a healthier [and presumably less murderful] America." Will Mike bite? I think this is the ultimate test of his commitment to turning America into a utopia of happy, healthy, peaceful, politically empowered uber-citizens. Will his desire to save everyone from the lies perpetuated by Big Industry override his insatiable cravings for delicious, artery-clogging piles of flesh? Will he finally be able to wear horizontal stripes? Only time will tell.
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McKenneth
Macedon, NY
August 2005
JUN 27, 2007 10:07 AM
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