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  • SATURDAY JUNE 23 2007 6:30 PM

Nice to Meet You, I'm 4Real

Submitted by Rahodeb

Edited by Rahodeb

Tags: 'Too Bad There's Not a 'Retarded' Section Tab"



It's fun to joke about what we plan to name our kids. My friend Caroline dreams of naming her future daughter "Bikini." Another friend hopes to have twin girls whom she can name "Polly" and "Esther." And then my friend Victor swears that someday, he'll have a son named "The Unbeatable Kid." Yes, my friends may have dropped one too many tabs of acid in college, but they're nowhere near as freak-out-fried as Pat and Sheena Wheaton of New Zealand, who want to name their soon-to-be-born son 4Real.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after glimpsing him for the first time as a fetus during an ultrasound examination and were struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

Mrs Wheaton, from New Zealand, told TV One: "For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name.

"With this name, everyone knows what it means."

That's right, Sheena, everyone will know exactly what it means: Sheena was a punk rocker who rocked just a little too hard.

In any case, the New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs isn't having it. Although in the past the Registrar-General of Births, Deaths and Marriages has approved names like Benson and Hedges (for twins, of course!), and Bus Stop (parents are David Bowie devotees?), they insist that numerals are not allowed.

If no compromise has been reached by July 9, the baby will be registered as "real," officials say.

Yeah, it's the "numeral" that's being disputed, here. Apparently if they spelled it "Foreal," too many people would feel compelled to "look it up" in a baby name book, and that would be a huuuuge issue!

I have a name suggestion for Pat and Sheena: Mai Perin Tsar Reetards.

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Comments
Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUN 23, 2007 07:55 PM

Formus said:
I even read in Freakanomics about a pair of twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello ("Aranzhello" and "Lemahnzhello").



I know I heard about those kids elsewhere, too. The names don't sound entirely stupid when said, but once you see them spelled out, it's over for those kids. Among the dumbest names ever.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUN 23, 2007 08:04 PM

My favorite "No, you absolutely cannot name your child that" case, though? The Swedish parents who wanted to name their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. Evidently, that is pronounced "Albin."

You just have to put the emphasis on the right syllable, see.

I guess it was a form of protest, but still.

ProphetNoise

ProphetNoise

Portland, OR
February 2004

JUN 23, 2007 08:11 PM

I'm just gonna throw my boggle game on the floor and see what come out.

"I'd like you to meet my kid, Lasrwfgwer"

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUN 23, 2007 08:11 PM

Necia said:
My favorite "No, you absolutely cannot name your child that" case, though? The Swedish parents who wanted to name their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. Evidently, that is pronounced "Albin."

You just have to put the emphasis on the right syllable, see.

I guess it was a form of protest, but still.



I had not seen that before. That is hilarious.

ogichida30

ogichida30

Concord, CA
September 2004

JUN 23, 2007 08:22 PM

There was also that couple who were HUGE star wars fans, they named thier kids Darth Harrison and Luke Annikin. Nothing says my parents are fucked more
than names like that.

HunterSMencken

HunterSMencken

Vienna, VA
July 2006

JUN 23, 2007 08:25 PM

It's great to be unique, just like everyone else.

It's quite another to brand your offspring, some poor innocent child, with a weird-ass name that will induce and instill a permanent cringe in the little sucker.

flogeek

flogeek

New Zealand
March 2007

JUN 23, 2007 08:34 PM

I live in New Zealand, where these people actually live. I'm embarrassed for my country that this has become world news. hehehe
whatever

Azkadellia

Azkadellia

South Haven, MI
April 2007

JUN 23, 2007 09:08 PM

"Hi, I'd like to change my name to "greg" please."

"'Greg'? Why 'Greg' ? If you're going to change your name, why not change it to something cool. Like 4real, or something."

"My name is 4real."

"Oh. Nice to meet you, Greg. Have a nice day."

And hubby thought naming our child after Allister Crowley was a bad idea...

ElPres

ElPres

Tampa, FL
November 2003

JUN 23, 2007 09:11 PM

Formus said:
I even read in Freakanomics about a pair of twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello ("Aranzhello" and "Lemahnzhello").



One of my ex-girlfriends apparently knew their parents. I thought she was lying about their names for a long time.

Priest_

Priest_

USA
January 2007

JUN 23, 2007 09:24 PM

It's one thing for celebrities to name their kids whacky shit. (perhaps literally) Those rich little nose miners will never attend a public school in their life. But normal families who name their kids retarded shit like that should be smacked for all the abuse that kid is gonna have to put up with.

Kleio

Kleio

Winona, MN
January 2006

JUN 23, 2007 09:25 PM

MrPinstripeSuit said:
I went to High School with Anita Boner. No shit. Galena High, Reno, NV 1996



Not quite as good, but I went to school with a gal named Anita Protsch. Anita can be a really cruel name to have!

mamet said:

Helen_Jupiter said:
Bus Stop (parents are David Bowie devotees?),



Or William Inge fans.



I ♥ you.

Anyways, I predict that these parents will change their mind at the last moment and name the child Engelbert Humperdink. It's the only logical choice, really.

ShadowDrgn

ShadowDrgn

Boca Raton, FL
August 2006

JUN 23, 2007 09:50 PM

Azadeth said:
It's really only significant here because there's a numeral involved. There's no way this is any weirder than what some of our celebrities name their kids.

Apple...Audio Science...Nicholas Cage gave his son Superman's real name...yeah.




yea so many fucked up names out there, and i agree naming someone after a comic might be kinda of weird, but Kal-El is kinda of cool LOL ... there's a guy who works at one of our offices names Jor-El and all the time we say lets call supermans dad lol ..

scotts0

scotts0

USA
November 2006

JUN 23, 2007 10:11 PM

MrPinstripeSuit said:
I went to High School with Anita Boner. No shit. Galena High, Reno, NV 1996



I went to high school with one Richard Handler. God, it was great.

Marluh

Marluh

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

JUN 23, 2007 10:12 PM

ha funny but some what lame.... I just named are newborn son Alkaline Wellington Jude...Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee was taken dammit..

bergmala

bergmala

Houston, TX
April 2004

JUN 23, 2007 10:33 PM

i seem to remember some guy naming his kid (whatever father's name was) 2.0

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