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  • TUESDAY JUNE 19 2007 6:00 PM

Addicted to Metal? You Might Be Disabled

Submitted by Aaron_Lariviere

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Sweden, heavy metal, metalhead, disability



Following up on today’s theme of disability, I have breaking news of the heaviest sort. To borrow a phrase: the greatest trick a metalhead ever pulled was convincing the world he was… disabled?!

Sweden’s The Local presents the case of 42-year-old headbanger Roger Tullgren. Either through dumb luck or sheer brilliance, Roger has managed to convince the Swedish government that his “heavy metal addiction” is a genuine disability. For serious.

Roger -- being that he is, after all, a metalhead -- has a natural love for heavy metal. When he skips work for a concert, or shows up at his job looking like a gnarly scumfuck, it doesn't go over well with his employers. But seen through the eyes of an imaginative and delusional psychologist, his seeming laziness and disregard for work stem from his inability to express himself and a physical need to bang his head all the live-long day.

”I have been trying for ten years to get this classified as a handicap," Tullgren told The Local.

"I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against."


Roger, as you have likely guessed, is the smartest man in the world. Befittingly, his rough and tumble powers of persuasion have entitled him to the following state-sanctioned benefits:

  • Time off as needed to attend concerts, so long as he makes up the hours when he can.

  • The right to listen to metal and wear "heavy-metal attire" while he works.

  • A supplement to his income, paid by the Employment Service.


Congratulations, Roger. Admitting you have a problem is the first step on the long razor-strewn road to recovery. With the grace of god you'll surely bear the heavy burden of your metallic disability like an armored saint.

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Comments
coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

JUN 20, 2007 06:51 AM

Ahhhhhhhhahahahahaha! My husband is heavy metal disabled, and he's the best thing that ever happened to me.

OneWithAll

OneWithAll

Charlton City, MA
October 2005

JUN 20, 2007 07:08 AM

good for him! shocked

being able to wear and listen to what you like during work should be the norm
i consider myself lucky, being able to "headbang" at work n all biggrin

TaoAndCoffee

TaoAndCoffee

Stoney Creek, ON
June 2007

JUN 20, 2007 09:04 AM

I feel like we're missing some finer points here.

Like we're all joking like "I'm addicted to metal too!" "I'm totally disabled!" but how does one get a psychologist to agree that one's obsession with a music genre has reached the point of debilitating?

How much "metal" clothing does he own? How many CDs? How many concerts has he been to? Just as importantly, how much cash has he dropped on his defense? If he is indeed smart, then he's also fucking loaded because he obviously has more money than brains.

Corran_Mitsik

Corran_Mitsik

Fishersville, VA
December 2006

JUN 20, 2007 12:40 PM

It is funny that a few of you mention gaming. Being a worker in the field of mental health...and being a gamer...I keep up on these things, and the AMA(American Medical Association) is looking to having people who are addicted to gaming labeled as having a mental disorder. So just wait, your day is coming.

audiophiliac

audiophiliac

Portland, OR
September 2006

JUN 20, 2007 12:56 PM

He's not heavy metal, he's a puss! Anyone who is a die hard rocker knows how to work all day and party all night. That guys just too damn lazy.

Gillionaire

Gillionaire

Manchester, NH
February 2007

JUN 20, 2007 02:28 PM

Genius. Sheer genius.

asdeputas

asdeputas

Uruguay
December 2006

JUN 20, 2007 02:38 PM

damn! I don´t know why......but I just cant stop headbangin!

d20

d20

San Francisco, CA
September 2003

JUN 20, 2007 04:20 PM

GNARLY SCUMFUCK

now there's a band name waiting to happen.

ZenTrixter

ZenTrixter

Portland, OR
October 2002

JUN 20, 2007 04:36 PM

BOLLOCKS!

But you get bitchin' seats at a show, to be sure...

KRACKERMAN

KRACKERMAN

Riverside, CA
October 2004

JUN 22, 2007 08:59 PM

This info has made my day.....to hell with work back to level 10 on the speakers with reign in blood and beer in hand owwww yaah










"happy"

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUN 23, 2007 05:44 PM

so, lack of musical taste is a disability? I can sort of see that. Question is, does the Swedish govt have a methadone-type programme for metal addicts? Compulsory Wagner twice a day, perhaps... tongue

PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

Canada
July 2010

JUL 21, 2010 09:46 PM

This has got to be the coolest thing ive ever read

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