Prisoner on Death Row Wants to Die Laughing

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If there’s one benefit of knowing exactly when you’ll die -- say, if you’re on death row -- it’s that you’ve got plenty of time to think of a clever send off. The rest of us have to rely on spur of the moment wit which would most likely abandon us when faced with a speeding train or a chainsaw wielding cannibal. Ten to one, my last words will be dull and forgettable, just a tossed-off "shit" as an angry reader dashes my brains out.

A death row inmate in Livingston, Texas, faced with just such a dilemma, has turned to the public for help in finding the perfect words to immortalize his death. According to the AP:
Patrick Knight is collecting jokes and will pick the funniest one for his last statement before he is set to die June 26 for shooting his neighbors, Walter and Mary Werner, to death almost 16 years ago outside Amarillo.

Randall County Sheriff Joel Richardson thinks the whole idea is insensitive. "This tells you a little bit about the guy's character, anyway," said Richardson, who was chief deputy at the time of the Werners' killings and plans to witness Knight's execution.
Insensitive, yes, but quite a few people have responded to his request: so far Knight has been sent about 250 jokes via e-mail and snail-mail. Other famous last words of executed prisoners include:


Aaron Lariviere doesn’t especially like the death penalty, nor does he endorse the use of death row as a sad late-life attempt at comedy. When all is said and done, however, his morbid nature will likely cause him to chuckle. And no, he doesn’t have this guy’s email address.

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