
There's this old axiom that "you get what you pay for," and it's admittedly true at some level: there's no point in pretending that a Maserati doesn't have a little more power than a Ford Fiesta. But then again, that's mechanics; since when are essentials held to such standards? Do you really need to buy that gritty organic stuff at Trader Joe's just to ensure that you aren't brushing your teeth with antifreeze? I mean, seriously, shouldn't poison-free soaps just be a given?
China this newest universal-cleaning-agent bungle loose on the world last week, and over the course of days it was seized by Nicaragua and Panama, the latter of which saw 51 deaths last month when cough syrup was uncovered with a similar surprise taste sensation. Yesterday, the offending paste was found in our own backyard, and dollar store patrons are being warned to proceed with caution.
Consumers were advised yesterday to discard all toothpaste made in China after federal health officials said they found Chinese-made toothpaste containing a poison used in some antifreeze in three locations: Miami, the Port of Los Angeles and Puerto Rico...The United States is the seventh country to find tainted Chinese toothpaste within its borders in recent weeks.
Agency officials said they found toothpaste containing a small amount of diethylene glycol, a sweet, syrupy poison, at a Dollar Plus retail store in Miami, sold under the brand name ShiR Fresh Mint Fluoride Paste. The F.D.A. also identified nine other brands of Chinese toothpaste that contain diethylene glycol, some with concentrations of 3 percent to 4 percent.
What exactly is diethylene glycol? It's a thickening agent of sorts, and in a way it's a lot like glycerin in chemical make-up. While glycerin, however, is used to make soaps and shortening and medicines, diethylene glycerol is mostly used in polyester, antifreeze, and gasoline treatment. The thing of it is, diethylene can be cheaper to come by, and who doesn't love a bargain? It's funny how similar chemicals work, though–just a small adjustment can make something totally unfit for human consumption. As it turns out, you can't substitute H2O with H2O2, either. Who knew!
So two companies have been linked back to the manufacturing of the toothpaste, and with such reputable and legitimate-sounding names as Goldcredit International Trading and the Suzhou City Jinmao Daily Chemicals Company, I'm surprised I haven't received ten e-mails from them about discount overseas Viagra by now. Anyhow, they're all crying like they thought antifreeze agents were all right as long as the amounts are kept to a minimum, and to their credit the amount found in the toothpaste won't actually kill most people so much as inflict a nice dose of kidney and liver damage. Even so, FDA is putting its foot down by asserting that not only do such things never, ever have a place in ingestibles, but that the entire country needs to shape up and stop sending us poisoned things. The Chinese government has, on pain of trade blacklisting, sprung into action with initial steps toward put ting a recall system in place, but I maintain that their pace is rather slow for a country that doesn't enjoy people starting rumors about all their bananas being infected with SARS.
In the meantime, all I can say is stay away from the bargain-bin toothpaste with the weird Engrish on the label. Sure, it keeps your breath tasty-fresh for less, but at what cost? You can pull all the ladies you want with your delicious fresh breath, but it won't help you much when you are dead.
Before this, _DictionaryGirl_ would totally have bought a toothpaste called Dr. Cool, and then where would she be? Just another statistic. Sad. Uncool, China.
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Stiles
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