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The Virgin Mary and Sex Toys: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together?!

MONDAY MAY 14 2007 6:00 PM

Submitted by _DictionaryGirl_. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Portugal, Fatima, Virgin Mary, sex toys, aphrodisiacs, how come nothing hilarious like this ever happened when I lived in Portugal?

In the summer of 1917, in a little town in Portugal, the Virgin Mary allegedly appeared to three shepherd children over a series of five months, telling them secrets and the details of their own deaths and how to bring about world peace -- that last one an especially important sentiment at the time, especially in Europe where World War One was raging all the closer. Thousands upon thousands of devout Catholics flocked to the site in pilgrimage, and to this very day it is a consistently popular travel destination.

Now, as everybody knows, nothing goes better with Catholic miracles than creatively marketed vibrators, so thankfully some advertising agency was able to rub a couple brain cells together for the sake of giving us this little gem, just in time for the 90th anniversary of the vision's first appearance.

Pilgrims to a holy shrine in Portugal are being given free maps of the site that show the Virgin Mary on one side and adverts for sex objects and aphrodisiacs on the other.

The maps, thought up by an advertising company, have raised eyebrows among the Catholic faithful and ire from the authorities at the popular Sanctuary of Fatima.

"The map is not official and makes the wrong use of the picture of the Virgin Mary," a shrine spokeswoman said on Friday.

Personally, I am dying to know what they mean by "the wrong use of the picture of the Virgin Mary," but so far no one is coughing up pictures. Ten dollars says whatever shop decided to go for broke with these maps was hoping for some free publicity, but sadly the joke is on them: try as I might to dig for information, not a single article has mentioned their name.

23 Comments

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Lycoris

Toronto, ON

October 2005

MAY 14, 2007 06:09 PM

This looks like a job for Divine Interventions!

bairdduvessa

Centerville, MA

April 2005

MAY 14, 2007 06:12 PM

funny shit there

VaugelyChilly

Ireland

October 2006

MAY 14, 2007 06:14 PM

Well let's see...how long would a suggestive picture of the prophet Mohammed shown in relation to a local butt plug factory last at a muslim holy site?
How long would an image of Buddah smiling away in front of a giant neon sign saying "vibrating love eggs 1/2 price" last on Mt. Hiei-zan?

Cheap offensive publicity shouldn't be made illegal, but should certainly be considered extremely distasteful.
The fact that no trace exists tends to show either how offensive this is to the local people, or how badly it would affect the tourism of the area...

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY

September 2002

MAY 14, 2007 06:18 PM

why oh why oh why is the first thing that comes to my mind when reading this article, the movie Doom Generation??

Oz_the_Vamp

Lorain, OH

June 2005

MAY 14, 2007 06:18 PM

Lycoris said:
This looks like a job for Divine Interventions!

I was thinking the same exact thing as I was reading!

TheComebackKid

Atlanta, GA

December 2005

MAY 14, 2007 06:24 PM

dear god we are all going to hell

Darke

Trego, WI

June 2005

MAY 14, 2007 07:59 PM

TheComebackKid said:
dear god we are all going to hell

To quote Rimbaud: "Hell is powerless against pagans."

Rainking13

Saint Peters, MO

December 2006

MAY 14, 2007 08:23 PM

i want 2 so i can hang them in my computer room. ok I dont have a computer room im just a middle aged perv, sigh halfway to goal of dirty old man.

cupcakeOdoom

Baldwin, NY

March 2006

MAY 14, 2007 09:03 PM

Lycoris said:
This looks like a job for Divine Interventions!

hahahah wow.

Mamushi

Japan

January 2004

MAY 14, 2007 09:13 PM

VaugelyChilly said:
How long would an image of Buddah smiling away in front of a giant neon sign saying "vibrating love eggs 1/2 price" last on Mt. Hiei-zan?

There are huge differences between different buddhist countries, but I think on Mt. Hiei-zan it probably wouldn't bother anyone.

WugglyUmp

Derry, NH

September 2003

MAY 14, 2007 10:37 PM

basically, that's a great title.
indeed!

penaltyboxvet

USA

August 2006

MAY 14, 2007 11:01 PM

Lycoris said:
This looks like a job for Divine Interventions!

Geez you could have warned me about what Divine Interventions was. Its going to take me a month of Hail Mary's
and Our Father's to get over that little accidental view.

aleksa

Tacoma, WA

April 2006

MAY 14, 2007 11:22 PM

Holy hell....

Untimely

USA

January 2007

MAY 14, 2007 11:35 PM

VaugelyChilly said:
How long would an image of Buddah smiling away in front of a giant neon sign saying "vibrating love eggs 1/2 price" last on Mt. Hiei-zan?

I think that depends on how much the Buddha image costs. Possibly also on whether or not the love eggs were any good. Are they Shinto love eggs? Are there chickens inside?

For the record, many sects of Buddhism don't really get bothered by this sort of thing. The image of Buddha is just an image -- something to be inspired by, but still just an image.
Images aren't important; The Path is important. The motivation and intent of some person and their love eggs isn't really something to get flustered about when there's so much other suffering in the world.

Now I'm going to go get funky with a vibrating, golden, love calf. Because I can.