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  • TUESDAY APRIL 24 2007 12:00 PM

True Stories by Rob Corddry: Hollywood Poetry

Tags: Shia LaBeouf

Good to see you.
We met at that thing. For the kids.
No, I’m not sure if Shari Belefonte was there…
Do you like her? I can introduce.

Yeah, it’s nuts.
These things are so fake. I just come to laugh, you know?
Nice suit, who is it?
Never heard of him.

I’ll get a Baker’s Manhattan on the rocks.

You know Marc, right?
Are you friends with Marc?
No, with a “c”.
Well he was in my office today and-
No, dark skinned. Darker…
Yeah, anyway, he was in my office today
Do you know who I’m talking about?

Good guy. Black guy.

I’ll set you up to meet with him.
Marc gets it.

Yeah, Howie Mandell is always here.
He’s really rich.
Hold on, I’ll be right back.

They’re shooting a reality show in back.
I think one of them is a pregnant porn star.
If not, it’s a great idea.
Hold on, I’m going to leave that on my voicemail.

I’ll get a peach martini in a rocks glass. No fruit.

Who you with?
Good guy, great guy.
Good guy, great guy.

How’s your pilot/script/deal?
Who’s producing/writing/directing?
Good guy, great guy.
He gets it.

Yeah, she’s funny for a chick.
We used to be friends.

Did you see the new Youtube video?
Did you see the new Lost mugshot?
Did you see Jessica Alba in Defamer?
Did you see sex-tape?
Did go rehab?

Did you hear what that white guy called that black guy?
What a fag.

Did you see Shia on SNL?
Good Guy.
GREAT GUY.

I’ll get a Burnt Toast Martini. Extra butter.

 

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Comments
Rahodeb

Rahodeb

Los Angeles, CA
March 2006

APR 24, 2007 12:01 PM

um. this is perfect. totally captures the absurdity of this place.

erin_broadley

erin_broadley

Los Angeles, CA
October 2006

APR 24, 2007 12:18 PM

i could use a burnt toast martini right about now...

starguitar

starguitar

Cote Saint-luc, QC
August 2004

APR 24, 2007 12:24 PM

genius

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

APR 24, 2007 12:33 PM

wonderful.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

APR 24, 2007 12:49 PM

brilliant.

DeusExMachina

DeusExMachina

Berkeley, CA
August 2004

APR 24, 2007 01:01 PM

Rob Corddry:
Good Guy,
Great Guy,
He gets it.

Trahern

Trahern

United Kingdom
March 2003

APR 24, 2007 01:09 PM

Makes you wonder how many who gets it actually wants it, doesn't it?

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

APR 24, 2007 01:13 PM

I'll take a bacon martini, no grease.

Ticktockman

Ticktockman

Durham, NC
April 2006

APR 24, 2007 04:08 PM

I gets it.

Hold on. I'll be right back.

-TTm

Byrd

Byrd

HOPEFUL

Reno, NV

APR 24, 2007 05:34 PM

****snaps.

loved it.

MrZablowdowski

MrZablowdowski

Edmonton, AB
December 2002

APR 24, 2007 05:42 PM

Kooky? It's kookier. It's the kookiest.

Bilharzia

Bilharzia

I'm lost
April 2004

APR 24, 2007 09:28 PM

I'll have a chicken salad martini; toasted, hold the chicken, hold the salad.
Yeah, between your knees.

barrybob

barrybob

Seattle, WA
May 2006

APR 24, 2007 11:04 PM

hack, what the fuck are you doin' ... you should be pissing all over something important ...

clever, but isn't poetry supposed to rhyme?

blueleftshoe

blueleftshoe

Olmsted Falls, OH
June 2004

APR 24, 2007 11:36 PM



Did you hear what that white guy called that black guy?
What a fag.


I love it love

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

APR 25, 2007 02:21 PM

hollywood hoetry

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