Secret Photoshop Agent and resident Fashion Icon Zoetica often has the staff at SGHQ asking, "What's Zo Wearing?" Her unique and eccentric style is a rallying call to those who suffer from mainstream malaise. Each week, she tells us how she's combined ordinary items to create her extraordinary look. Undaunted by unusual combinations, "What's Zo Wearing" is SG's answer to middle-of-the-road makeover shows.

















Zo says: Not wearing anything this week, so instead I will show you but a few of the hairstyles I've donned over the years. Have no doubts my dearest seekers of nekkidness,there are plenty more — I just can't find them all right now.

Nor can I think of a better place to discuss that satisfying sizzle of hairspray as it's being cooked by a straightening/curling iron, the waxy smell of dreadlocks, the tearing of hair strands under the ruthless teeth of a teasing comb, the anguish of several inches of hair melting off under merciless bleach. Yes, the stained tubs, pillows and towels. The calamitous purple stain on a wall next to a bed. I digress! I am no stranger to these tribulations. I have cut my own hair since 2000, when I received The Worst Haircut Ever at a salon. Like the brave drunken lion-tamer, I prod, plead, threaten and scream until it obeys.

Even now, as I have resolved to allow my hair to grow past my shoulders into a Mucha-esque mane for the first time in years, I discover new methods to make it my docile bitch. From here on, it can only. Get. BIGGER.

*I encourage you to post your hair history photos in the comments section!

**Yes, that's my manfriend in Boyd Rice's lap.

Zoetica Ebb is a painter, SG style technician, make up artist, alt. model, photgrapher & occasional cosmonomad. Born in Moscow, Russia, she was raised by a troup of gypsy scientists from space, who coldly sold her to an American technological research facility in 1992. After a daring escape, she graduated from the LA County High School for the Arts, retreated into the rumored underground atelier where she studied with the much-revered fashion guru Madame Von Kuntzertag, followed by a brief stint at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. She's traveled the world, gathering fashion expertise and is thrice certified as official Finesse Monitor to the Khan throne. She hates it when humans tell her to smile. For further details, visit Zoetica's member page, or her portfolio website, BioRequiem.