Its the end of the year, 2006 wheezes its dying breath in just hours. As we look forward, I'm gonna sneak in one more Year-End List, what would the Internetosphere be without them all?

You might ask why you should care. Well, you probably don't, or shouldn't - so I advise you now to just forget this exercise and simply scroll down to the next fine story on the SuicideGirls NewsWire... no harm done. For those who stay, I welcome you, and know that now we're alone I can confess to you that you are my favorites - the others who just scrolled away are clearly inferior and should be exterminated, and you, true believers are at the top of the heap and should reproduce as soon as possible so that we may outnumber those twats who just scrolled away and gain world dominance.

So begins the listapating!

Favorite Films of 2006:
(note the use of the word "favorite" instead of "best")

V for Vendetta


Part bold political mantra, part Beauty and the Beast love story, and in my book, a classic. Absolutely loved it. The "V" character, spouting Shakespearean quotes from beneath a Guy Fawkes mask while singlehandedly twisting an Orwellian Britain into the anarchy of a new beginning. Original author Alan Moore had his name taken off the credits, disgusted at how liberally the filmmakers re-jiggered his story, but I really responded to the re-working and loved how well it worked as a film. Natalie Portman is a magic jewel from a wonderland of rainbows and unicorns, so much so that I barely noticed her squirrelly accent. I liked this movie so much, that I had to work not to hate the friends of mine who didn't like it.

Borat


What can you say? It was great, a world-changing instant classic, and we'll all remember 2006 as Sacha Baron Cohen's year, and rightfully so. Satire, reality, political commentary, naked fat man wrestling and a jarring look into the minds of average Americans. A scary place.

The Illusionist


Loved this movie for how well it balanced the supernatural while not veering into silliness; a romantic drama with just the right amount of mystery to keep the Illusionist from becoming "The Magician". Edward Norton was, is, and probably always will be spot on perfect.

Talladega Nights


Again, Will Farrell and John C. Reilly. They would have had to actually try to make this thing suck for it to suck. I mean, the prayer scene.


Film I Should Have Gotten My Money Back for because it Sucked So Bad for 2006:

The Lady in The Water


People who defend this load of fairy tale bullshit I question their sanity. Right to their faces. All angry-style, too, like I'm gonna throw down.


Favorite Television of 2006:

Battlestar Galactica


Amazing timeshifts in plotline, huge risks with main characters, and clever high-tension drama, this show gets better and better... that is except for the current plot-line featuring Baltar and the Cylons aboard some kind of fuzzy Showtime network soft-porn movie of the week. Bring back the bio-mechanic guts inside the ships - quickly. And no more Cylon three-ways.

Heroes


Not half as shitty as you would think (being a network television show about superheroes), and usually actually exceptional. Hiro is a truly great character, and the "Six Months Ago" episode was easily some of the best TV in years. Aside from the weak "blonde with a bad side" plot-line, lets love this fucker till it jumps the shark, like Lost did this year.

30 Rock/ Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip(tie):


Two shows; one sitcom, and one drama about the backstage trials and tribulations of running a Saturday Night Live-type sketch comedy show, both on NBC. I actually really like both. 30 Rock has some soft spots, but the interplay between Tina Fey's smart cookie and Alex Baldwin's honey-smooth voice of corporate America, is fantastic.
Studio 60 can be preachy, the sketches not funny (at all), and the dramatic jeopardy (oh no - we printed the script in the wrong format - aaaghhh!) can be not-so-dramatic sometimes. I forgive it all for the dialog between leads Matthew Perry, Amada Peet, Stephen Weber and show MVP Bradley Whitford.

Honorable mentions: Deadwood, Rome (only here as an H.M. because it takes HBO years between seasons which is such a buzzkill)


Favorite Music for 2006:

I am not a music reviewer, because I hate almost everything. Rock is too whiny, Indie is too weak, anything Pitchfork likes is too pretentious. Actually so pretentious, that we need a new word just for the music Pitchfork gets tight in the speedos about: Pitchfortentious. I just made it up, and you can use it for free. Sometimes all I want is for David Cross to release another comedy CD so I can laugh and cry and forget. Since I don't get music for free, this short list is based on the small amount of music I actually pay for - or steal.

Ray Lamontagne | Till the Sun Turns Black


Gorgeous, delicate, emotional acoustic singer songwriter stuff for those eternally pissed that Elliott Smith won't be making any more music this lifetime.

Mew | And the Glass Handed Kites


Lovely and complexish. High, fairy-like vocals over odd time changes and barely discernible lyrics. I like my rock interesting, melodic and kinda gay, and this works great for me.

Beck | The Information


As long as the "information" doest include anything about how to rid myself of engrams or how to become an Operating Thetan, then I'm good. Bring it on, Hansen.


Best New Tech for 2006:

The Nintendo Wii


Actually worth all the hype - this little specimen really does what all the inches of pre-release press said it would - change how we play games, change who plays games, and make casual gaming a more fun and social activity. Seems to be on-course for a successful hacking of the whole idea of interactive entertainment like the iPod shook things up for music.

Shove it Up Your Ass and Go for 2006:

The Playstation 3


If you want one, then I'm sorry but you are deluding yourself and buying into Sony's only possible attraction for this giant fumble - PS2 brand loyalty. Sorry, but the Xbox360 has an almost flawless online component, and nothing you have shown smokes Gears, so go sit down Sony.


Favorite Games of 2006:

1. Wii Sports (Wii)


For playability, innovation, and fun. Of course massive points for the groundbreaking control scheme.

2. Gears of War (Xbox360)


Beautiful and exquisitely violent. Multi-Player is a little light on options, but the team-on-team play is fantastic. The post-kill viewing options really add to the experience, too. The "Halo-killer" might not kill Halo, but until Halo 3, it surely is home to the most satisfyingly horrible chainsaw melee kills money can buy. Here's how to kill Halo, EPIC: give out a bunch of new maps, give users and edit function so they can create/host/trade their own levels.


Best of the Internets:

Google


Obviously not a company of average humans, but a project devised by an alien race to provide us with super-useful free tools, to watch how we use them, then I am guessing they plan to enslave us all. Gmail, Gcal, the assimilation of YouTube, and the dissemination of free online software to make Microsoft's Word and Excel apps obsolete. Google, we can't thank you enough. Now let's get the anal probe over with.

YouTube
The revolution wasn't televised, it was streamed. its a paradigm-quake and YouTube is the epicenter. A word of advice, though YouTube... Please add an option for higher quality video ASAFP or run the risk of tumbling headlong into a tar-pit of Friendster-like proportions.

Digg
Changing the web about as fast as it changes itself. The minds of the many outpower the minds of the few.

Flickr
Still the standard-bearer for elegance in social network design (along with SG of course)


Worst of the Internets:
MySpace:


If you can't beat 'em... add 'em. Then "thank 'em for the add". Rinse. Repeat. Kill Yourself.

Sparkle Tags


Fuck you Sparkle Tags and your apparent treasure trove of cheesy vampyre-fairy and renaissance faire-fairy animated gifs. You've hurt my eyes and my brain, and I hope you'll pay.


Best Celeb Blog:

The Superficial / What Would Tyler Durden Do (tie)


It's not easy to freshly rephrase "Brit's Baby-Slot is Hanging Out" over and over again. Takes a special skill.


So Very Over:

Lost
You lost me at "...Hello, Michelle Rodriquez!"

American world dominance
Hi China, congrats!

Internet Explorer
Microsoft's shitty flagship browser has been a piece of shit for years. If you didn't know already, you do now. Here's Firefox 2.0 - use it, love it, and for God's sake Internets, Please turn the spell check ON!!!


Thank God at Least Things are a-Changing for 2006:

The November Elections


The Democratic Party grew some teeth and gained the support of the American people amid an avalanche of anti-war studies and sentiment. The Irag Study Group, Bush's spiraling approval ratings, and most popular media all all now place the emphasis on finding an end to our mess in Iraq. May the troops come home as soon as possible and may we make no more half-baked attempts at forcing our way of thinking on other countries to hide the fact that we cant find one stinky cave-dwelling Taliban. Or maybe we just used 9-11 as a sideways entry point toward Americanizing the Middle East via an unjust war. History can now give George W. Bush what he deserves: a legacy as a short-sighted, bureaucratic, law-breaking warmonger.

Person of the Year: Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report.


Stephen Colbert has had a fantastic year - from beginning his hit political satire show on Comedy Central, to his star turn brilliantly bashing our President at the White House correspondents dinner with Bush in attendance, to actually introducing "Truthiness" into the popular lexicon. Colbert was everywhere in 06, which is where he should be - an ersatz uber-right wing God fearing Bush lover, one of the quickest wits on television playing his ironic character for all its worth, holding a mirror up to American arrogance, ignorance, and blind nationalism.


So there you have it. Just my opinions, and you know what they say about opinions - only assholes post them online. So I, Steve Isaacs, Suicide Girls Culture Editor humbly offer you my input. Take it or leave it and have a great year, and Thanks For The Add.

I don't know you...
-but I love you.