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  • WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 4 2009 10:00 AM

Get Spread To Go

Advertorial/Competition: Get Intimate With Spread On Us

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"This is getting really uncomfortable," says Spread star Ashton Kutcher after watching his character get fucked in a leather chair during commentary embedded in the special features of the DVD version the film. Indeed Kutcher complains that acting in the film often caused him intense discomfort -- "agony" even -- brought on by frequent and severe bouts of vasocongestion in his nether regions (a condition more commonly referred to as blue balls).

Those who watched the film in theaters earlier this year may empathize as the film features some of the hottest sex scenes seen in a mainstream film in recent years. Thus, as Kutcher waited until the cameras stopped rolling to work out frustrations brought on by the day's acting off set with his wife Demi Moore, many cinemagoers had similarly uncomfortable commutes home. Needless to say, Spread is likely to do considerably better when it's released on DVD and Blu-Ray on Nov 10th than it did at the box office, for this is a film best experienced in the private confines of your own home (preferably with relief close at hand if you catch our drift).

In Spread, Kutcher plays Nikki a charming freeloader who hopes to get ahead by getting head -- and servicing the needs of his wealthy female companions. Co-star Anne Heche is perhaps the film's biggest surprise however. She plays Samantha, one of Nikki's well-heeled marks. It's without doubt the Sappho-esque actresses' most erotic role to date. "I've gone further in this movie than I have ever before," says Heche, before adding, "Why didn't I do this when I was 22?"

The actress and mother of two, who hit forty in May of this year, confronts the no holes barred (pun intended) sex scenes with a refreshing honesty. Though the action is often graphic, Heche's toned body shows scant evidence of the two children it bore, and the numerous encounters with Kutcher's character are both hyper-erotic and hyper-real.

Samantha may accuse Nikki of being "nothing but six inches and a pretty face," but it's his mastery of the art of the pick-up that gives the Hollywood player -- and therefore the film -- an edge. Indeed, in the aforementioned commentary, Kutcher fesses up to being a student of The Game, journalist Neill Strauss' infamous seduction bible (which spawned the VH1 reality show The Pick-Up Artist).

Throughout the film, Kutcher's character schools us on the basics of The Game: "There is only one pick up line -- Hi, what's your name? -- everything else is cheese." Player-centric tips such as "Never show her you're impressed -- it lowers your market value" and "You want to give them a good fucking, but not too good -- leave a little room for the relationship to grow" keep the dialog sharp and heighten the irony when the master player ultimately gets outplayed.

Visually, the third character in the plot is Samantha's sleek and stunning, glass-walled Hollywood Hills home -- Nikki's Spread du jour -- which serves as the film's sensual playground. However, for drama's sake, emotionally, the love triangle is completed by newcomer Margarita Levieva's character, Heather, who brings unexpected chaos to Nikki's highly controlled world.

Though Spread is an erotic comedy caper that celebrates all that is wrong with Los Angeles -- a metropolis that idolizes the beautiful and superficial -- Kutcher, unlike his character, is wise enough to keep his baser Hollywood instincts in check. "I've played the game enough to know it doesn't end well," says Kutcher, who married his smokin' hot older women in 2005. "The only way to win is through true passion and love*."



WIN SPREAD TO GO

SuicideGirls has teamed up with Anchor Bay Films for a special competition so you can get intimate with Spread in the privacy of your own home. Winners will receive one of three copies of Spread on either Blu-Ray or DVD (your choice).

Answer the following question to enter:

Which lady would you prefer to be your sugar momma -- Anne Heche or Margarita Levieva?

(See pics at: www.flickr.com/photos/spreadthemovie)

Send entries via email to spread@suicidegirls.com. Please remember to include the following information:

    1. Name
    2. Address
    3. Date of Birth
    4. Preferred format (Blu-Ray or DVD)



Contest closes on November 23, 2009 at midnight PST. Winners will be notified by email on or before November 27. No purchase necessary. Must be18 years or older to enter.

For more information on Spread and the DVD/Blu-Ray release go to Spread-themovie.com.



Footnote:
* The only disclaimer being that Nikki's trademark "rollover sleeping smile" has apparently worked well for Kutcher off screen too, enabling him to avoid getting out of bed to take out the trash on more than one occasion when asked by his wife.

 

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Comments
PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

NOV 04, 2009 01:33 PM

nicole_powers said:
Those who watched the film in theaters earlier this year]


A) lost a bet
B) could be counted on one hand
C) were involved in the greatest witness protection program of all time
D) is named Ashton
E) Prove that the people who really got fucked weren't on-screen

I have to stop now.

Okay, one more:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Winners will receive one free copy of Spread



Second prize is three copies.


sitar

sitar

Philadelphia, PA
June 2004

NOV 04, 2009 03:24 PM

PointBlank said:

nicole_powers said:
Those who watched the film in theaters earlier this year]


A) lost a bet
B) could be counted on one hand
C) were involved in the greatest witness protection program of all time
D) is named Ashton
E) Prove that the people who really got fucked weren't on-screen

I have to stop now.

Okay, one more:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Winners will receive one free copy of Spread



Second prize is three copies.




Runner up will receive copies autographed by Ashton Kutcher

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

NOV 04, 2009 03:26 PM

nicole_powers said:

Indeed Kutcher complains that acting in the film often caused him intense discomfort -- "agony" even...



I can only imagine what watching the film would cause. And shudder.

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 04, 2009 08:49 PM

Thank goodness Heche didn't let those little bastards of hers ruin her stomach! I'm glad the review of the film went into detail about that. It seemed important.

toothpickmoe

toothpickmoe

Los Angeles, CA
May 2004

NOV 04, 2009 09:58 PM

PointBlank said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Winners will receive one free copy of Spread



Second prize is three copies.




SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Third prize is you're fired.



quackers

quackers

United Kingdom
March 2006

NOV 05, 2009 07:06 AM

Special competition ... oooo... I can win a DVD that will be in the bargain bin any time .... NOW.

Katieesq

Katieesq

USA
June 2008

NOV 05, 2009 08:58 AM

I love you guys.

adjunct

adjunct

Philadelphia, PA
July 2002

NOV 05, 2009 09:51 AM

PointBlank said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

nicole_powers said:
Those who watched the film in theaters earlier this year]


A) lost a bet
B) could be counted on one hand
C) were involved in the greatest witness protection program of all time
D) is named Ashton
E) Prove that the people who really got fucked weren't on-screen

I have to stop now.

Okay, one more:

Winners will receive one free copy of Spread



Second prize is three copies.



Hey, there's no need for the sarcasm!

After all, this is the first paid placement ever to be labeled as such in the newswire.

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

NOV 05, 2009 10:54 AM

For the record, my favorite spread is County Crock.

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 05, 2009 11:04 AM

SnakePlissken said:
For the record, my favorite spread is County Crock.



Is that just a more specific version of Country Crock?

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 05, 2009 11:07 AM

adjunct said:

PointBlank said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

nicole_powers said:
Those who watched the film in theaters earlier this year]


A) lost a bet
B) could be counted on one hand
C) were involved in the greatest witness protection program of all time
D) is named Ashton
E) Prove that the people who really got fucked weren't on-screen

I have to stop now.

Okay, one more:

Winners will receive one free copy of Spread



Second prize is three copies.



Hey, there's no need for the sarcasm!

After all, this is the first paid placement ever to be labeled as such in the newswire.



I learned a new word today. I now vehemently hate the word "advertorial."

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 05, 2009 11:08 AM

Wait, wait, wait...

"Thus, as Kutcher waited until the cameras stopped rolling to work out frustrations brought on by the day's acting off set with his wife Demi Moore, many cinemagoers had similarly uncomfortable commutes home."

How did I miss that the first time through?

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

NOV 05, 2009 11:22 AM

Toku666 said:

SnakePlissken said:
For the record, my favorite spread is County Crock.



Is that just a more specific version of Country Crock?



It's the generic version. Usually you'll find it in the Dairy aisle by the malk. Both tend to be fortified with vitamin R.

CreamyGoodness

CreamyGoodness

United Kingdom
December 2002

NOV 05, 2009 12:11 PM

Toku666 said:
Thank goodness Heche didn't let those little bastards of hers ruin her stomach! I'm glad the review of the film went into detail about that. It seemed important.



Judging from the other reviews, it's probably a better selling point to talk about Anne Heche's stomach than anything else in the film, considering the following films are all higher-rated on Rotten Tomatoes than Spread:

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Garfield: The Movie
Pokemon 4Ever
Van Helsing
Stan Helsing
Scary Movie 2
Crossroads

I mean really, when you're being beaten by the Britney Spears movie, how would you sell the film? Wait! Maybe that could be the next competition!

Cockzombie

Cockzombie

Japan
July 2006

NOV 05, 2009 02:04 PM

In-and-Out gives you little spread packets to go if you ask for them. That's my favorite kind of spread.

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