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The A-Team Movie: Oh Yeah, I'm Excited.

SUNDAY MARCH 23 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by TheCoolerKing. Edited By erin_broadley.

The A-Team was my favorite prime time show growing up. More action packed than "Knight Rider", less lame super-copter based than "Air-Wolf" and, unfortunately, less immediately canceled than "Manimal".

The show had, in all likelihood, the greatest theme song/opening credit sequence of the '80s. It explained the premise, shot up a logo with bullets and then gave you 15 explosions.

It featured one of the coolest variations on the rag-tag yet somehow super elite fighting force, certainly one of the best ever on TV.

And, I'll say this, the show kinda holds up. I don't mean in some ironic way, either.

Every single episode followed the following formula, and it worked like a charm: Innocents are preyed upon by bad men. Innocents reach out to mythical crack commando squad, only to meet a dead end but, aha! actually the dead end was their leader in disguise. Commando squad humbles bad men, then gets trapped by bad men in a room fully stocked with items that are easily turned into weapons. Commandos defeat bad guys and narrowly evade the one-step-behind US government.

The bad men reached across all genres, too. Small-time mobsters, cattle barons, drug dealers, evil tow truck companies, Asian mobsters, farmers, etc. Everything short of space aliens.

A highlight for me would be the inevitable point when B.A. Baracus (Mr. T!), the muscle of the group, would square off against the opposing team's equally beefed-up thug. It would usually be a guy who closely resembled B.A. body-wise but was another ethnicity. Or another black guy but sans mohawk. Giant muscled Asian guy, giant muscled redneck, giant muscled samoan guy...

This fellow was usually introduced when "Face" or "Murduck" would attempt to take him on, after dispatching many lesser foes, only to hurt their hand on his barrel chest. At which point B.A. would step in and the real fight would begin. Often culminating in another show trademark, the from below, slow-motion shot of a man being hurled through the air and, typically, into a window.

Now all that glorious magic is back:

It doesn't have a cast, but John Singleton's update of "The A-Team" has a release date.

According to Variety, 20th Century Fox has settled on a June 12, 2009 premiere date for the updated action-adventure.


Were this Michael Bay or some similar shitheel I'd be concerned but John Singleton of Boyz n the Hood could do a top-notch job here. With the right cast. Here's the way I think it should go.

The A-Team

John "Hannibal" Smith - The team's calm, super-cool leader, a brilliant tactician, colonel and master of disguise. That's right, only a master could play both an unconvincing elderly Asian man and climb into a Godzilla costume. Played by the great George Pepard.

Who it should be: George Clooney (who was once rumored to be involved) or Nathan Fillion... And just a second ago I had a flash of a prime Tommy Lee Jones doing an impossibly amazing job...

Who they'll get: Tough to say, hopefully Clooney


Templeton Peck aka "Faceman" Handsome, fast talking, con man with a way with the ladies. Often given demanding missions along the lines of "procuring a jet engine from a deserted farmhouse" which he'd accomplish by donning fake glasses and kissing a girl.

Who it should be: "Sawyer" from LOST seems obvious, probably because he's a con man, but he's fictional so it might be hard to get him. Jude Law if he did this kind of film. I'm tempted to say Brad Pitt, but I'll go with Matthew McConaughey.

Who they'll get: Vince Vaughn


B.A. Baracus The muscle. The guy who kicks most of the asses as well as the resident mechanic. I mean, we've all seen Mr.T, right? Like that.

Who it should be: Ice Cube has been rumored for this part but I don't like it. He's awesome but too old, too small. I thought about former Cube co-star Terry Crewes, but he's a bit too comic. I'll go with the the sleek, scaled down bad-assery of Gbenga Akinnagbe aka Chris Partlow from The Wire. Whoa.

Who they'll get: This dude in a "fake muscles" t-shirt.


"Howling Mad" Murdock The literally insane "wildman" who also provided pilot duties. Played by Dwight Schulz, who still seems to turn up on things.

Who it should be: James Callis (Baltar) from Battlestar Galactica. Cause he'd be great and because it'd be nice to have someone from a version of Battlestar in both versions of the A-Team. Or maybe Will Arnett.

Who they'll get: Adrien Brody or Jim Carrey





Yes, like you, TheCoolerKing loves it when a plan comes together

 

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scylis

scylis

Anchorage, AK
November 2004

MAR 24, 2008 02:49 AM

bashster said:
haniibal i would have Steven seagal



ok, i stopped listening right there.

no.

not that asshole.

no.

seriously, he's about the biggest douchenozzle ever. you could power a super carrier with his ego, it's that big.

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 24, 2008 02:56 AM

bashster said:
haniibal i would have Steven seagal
BA-Mark Henry the wrestler
Face- Owen Wilson
Murdock i would have Will Ferrell

I hope the casting is good i heard its gonna be a full black casting???



ew, Steven Seagal?

bardsatyr

bardsatyr

Morrisville, NC
November 2006

MAR 24, 2008 04:29 AM

Steve Buscemi would be perfect as as Murdock.
I could see Vin Diesel as BA

Evilgasm

Evilgasm

Netherlands
April 2007

MAR 24, 2008 06:57 AM

Wow... lot of good suggestions up there. My Dream Cast:

Hannibal: Tommy Lee Jones.
I just think he'd be an awesome Hannibal.

Face: Jamie Bamber


Cause he'd be great and because it'd be nice to have someone from a version of Battlestar in both versions of the A-Team.


Even cooler if it's the same character(in the A-team at least tongue)

B.A. Baracus: Wesley Snipes
Please don't kill me.... I know it'd end up being more martial artist than muscle man. But I think that'd work better in a modern version of the story. Especially if they want to go down the "hard core action" road, which is what has been rumored. The Muscle Man character has just become too comical over the years.

Murdock: Joseph Fiennes.
(Unless you could get Bruce Dickinson... closest real life equivalent tongue )

Decker: James Woods
No brainer.

Female lead (reporter/client/bad guys daughter/whatever): Alison Lohman
Just struck me as a good choice.

RedStatic

RedStatic

United Kingdom
August 2007

MAR 24, 2008 09:56 AM

question is, why so long and will this be another avalanche of 80's series-come-films (Miami Vice anyone?). Is Hollywood running out of ideas?

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 24, 2008 11:47 AM

kjmn543 said:
question is, why so long and will this be another avalanche of 80's series-come-films (Miami Vice anyone?). Is Hollywood running out of ideas?



Didn't they run out years ago?

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

MAR 24, 2008 12:13 PM

DevilsReject said:
i wonder if they will incorporate the need to fly scenario.

in every episode, there was some outlandish reason to fly, and they had to trick B.A. into taking tranquilizers.

"I ain't getting on that plane, especially with that lunatic flying" brings back fond memories of my child hood.

That and i wonder if anyone will actually, you know, actually get shot in one of the gazillion firefights that they have.



tongue

+1

The lack of death or severe injury was always the funniest thing (ironically) about that show to me. Here you have a bunch of trained military police chasing after a bunch of trained ex-special forces guys who are chasing after a bunch of town thugs (where the pastime in each of their Podunk towns is probably shooting guns); everyone's armed with automatic weapons, spraying bullets at one another, and no one ever gets shot!

classic! biggrin

as for casting, adding rapper DMX into the running for the B.A. slot. (not sure if he can act though.):

zoom image

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

MAR 24, 2008 03:00 PM

This gets me excited in more of a "gee I think that fish taco was a little off" way than a "whoopee I found a $20 in the street" way.

livertarian

livertarian

Fairfax, VA
February 2008

MAR 24, 2008 04:41 PM

Excellent analysis, Cooler.

Ving is by far the most convincing tough guy mentioned here... he'd be perfect. Ving is one of the best, most underused actors out there, too.

Kinda left field, but I bet Jason Lee would do well as Murdock. His Earl character from TV shows a little of the same vibration that Dwight Schultz had. That bug-eyed wild man thing.

Clooney, sure, though my man-crush on him is fading with each election cycle. If you want a daring alternative, I propose Jeff Bridges. I bet he looks more natural with the cigar, anyway.

Pitt would rock the Face, but probably sink the budget, too. Sawyer from Lost seems to have studied Starbuck's entire career, but perhaps he's too obvious. Johnny Depp?

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 24, 2008 05:28 PM

Hunkpapa said:

kjmn543 said:
question is, why so long and will this be another avalanche of 80's series-come-films (Miami Vice anyone?). Is Hollywood running out of ideas?



Didn't they run out years ago?



They ran out before they invented color. Or talkies. Or Hollywood.

Metaverse

Metaverse

Portland, OR
March 2005

MAR 25, 2008 12:56 AM

Man..I can't believe I'm going to say this..but I can't wait for this movie! Growing up, my dad and me would watch this show every week. I love the Robot Chicken skit on The A-Team.

Ving Rhames for sure as B.A. ..not to sure about the others.

Strega

Strega

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

APR 29, 2008 07:11 PM

SuicidePuppies said:

as for casting, adding rapper DMX into the running for the B.A. slot. (not sure if he can act though.):

zoom image



He's horrible. I can't remember what movie he was in but he was godawful. Almost as bad as Vin Diesel.

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