The A-Team Movie: Oh Yeah, I'm Excited.

The A-Team was my favorite prime time show growing up. More action packed than "Knight Rider", less lame super-copter based than "Air-Wolf" and, unfortunately, less immediately canceled than "Manimal".

The show had, in all likelihood, the greatest theme song/opening credit sequence of the '80s. It explained the premise, shot up a logo with bullets and then gave you 15 explosions.

It featured one of the coolest variations on the rag-tag yet somehow super elite fighting force, certainly one of the best ever on TV.

And, I'll say this, the show kinda holds up. I don't mean in some ironic way, either.

Every single episode followed the following formula, and it worked like a charm: Innocents are preyed upon by bad men. Innocents reach out to mythical crack commando squad, only to meet a dead end but, aha! actually the dead end was their leader in disguise. Commando squad humbles bad men, then gets trapped by bad men in a room fully stocked with items that are easily turned into weapons. Commandos defeat bad guys and narrowly evade the one-step-behind US government.

The bad men reached across all genres, too. Small-time mobsters, cattle barons, drug dealers, evil tow truck companies, Asian mobsters, farmers, etc. Everything short of space aliens.

A highlight for me would be the inevitable point when B.A. Baracus (Mr. T!), the muscle of the group, would square off against the opposing team's equally beefed-up thug. It would usually be a guy who closely resembled B.A. body-wise but was another ethnicity. Or another black guy but sans mohawk. Giant muscled Asian guy, giant muscled redneck, giant muscled samoan guy...

This fellow was usually introduced when "Face" or "Murduck" would attempt to take him on, after dispatching many lesser foes, only to hurt their hand on his barrel chest. At which point B.A. would step in and the real fight would begin. Often culminating in another show trademark, the from below, slow-motion shot of a man being hurled through the air and, typically, into a window.

Now all that glorious magic is back:

Were this Michael Bay or some similar shitheel I'd be concerned but John Singleton of Boyz n the Hood could do a top-notch job here. With the right cast. Here's the way I think it should go.

The A-Team

John "Hannibal" Smith - The team's calm, super-cool leader, a brilliant tactician, colonel and master of disguise. That's right, only a master could play both an unconvincing elderly Asian man and climb into a Godzilla costume. Played by the great George Pepard.

Who it should be: George Clooney (who was once rumored to be involved) or Nathan Fillion... And just a second ago I had a flash of a prime Tommy Lee Jones doing an impossibly amazing job...

Who they'll get: Tough to say, hopefully Clooney


Templeton Peck aka "Faceman" Handsome, fast talking, con man with a way with the ladies. Often given demanding missions along the lines of "procuring a jet engine from a deserted farmhouse" which he'd accomplish by donning fake glasses and kissing a girl.

Who it should be: "Sawyer" from LOST seems obvious, probably because he's a con man, but he's fictional so it might be hard to get him. Jude Law if he did this kind of film. I'm tempted to say Brad Pitt, but I'll go with Matthew McConaughey.

Who they'll get: Vince Vaughn


B.A. Baracus The muscle. The guy who kicks most of the asses as well as the resident mechanic. I mean, we've all seen Mr.T, right? Like that.

Who it should be: Ice Cube has been rumored for this part but I don't like it. He's awesome but too old, too small. I thought about former Cube co-star Terry Crewes, but he's a bit too comic. I'll go with the the sleek, scaled down bad-assery of Gbenga Akinnagbe aka Chris Partlow from The Wire. Whoa.

Who they'll get: This dude in a "fake muscles" t-shirt.


"Howling Mad" Murdock The literally insane "wildman" who also provided pilot duties. Played by Dwight Schulz, who still seems to turn up on things.

Who it should be: James Callis (Baltar) from Battlestar Galactica. Cause he'd be great and because it'd be nice to have someone from a version of Battlestar in both versions of the A-Team. Or maybe Will Arnett.

Who they'll get: Adrien Brody or Jim Carrey





Yes, like you, TheCoolerKing loves it when a plan comes together