I've been a comic book fan for my entire life. That carries a lot less stigma nowadays, than it did growing up. But that doesn't mean my non-comic fan friends are willing or interested in discussing comics. Except on one occasion.

The only time I can recall this happening was a few years back when Mark Millar's Wanted mini series came out. Several of my non-reader pals were not only willing to talk about it, but anxiously awaiting each new issue.

I'm not sure why the comic was able to crossover like it was. I mean, it was a great book, but so were plenty of other titles. The comic told the story of a stepped-on nobody who very quickly discovers the means to change his life. That's about as vague as I can make it.

The first thing that stood out about the comic was its over the top violence. The second was its awesomeness (its unique premise and its use of classic comic book archetypes. I won't say anymore.) The third was probably the fact that most of the main characters conveniently resembled actors. The Wesley character was clearly based on Eminem. Surprisingly, this didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Nothing against ol' Marshall Mathers, his music's fine, I just don't need to read about his exploits in a comic... or, anywhere.

Even worse was the female lead who resembled Halle Berry. Holy shit, was she really going to ruin another comic character? Two wasn't enough? She's done more damage to the Marvel Universe than Thanos the Titan. (For non-comic fans, Thanos is basically a likable Charles Manson, without the swastika, and made out of stone. Don't worry, he's dead... Thanos is, Chuck is still around, I think.) Also, Wesley's dad looked an awful lot like Tommy Lee Jones.

Here's the trailer for the Wanted movie.



I'm disappointed that the "super-heroes" aspect has been replaced by "assassins" because, well, most movies have assassins in them. But, Angelina Jolie replacing Berry is a step up and the trailer has a Morgan Freeman voiceover, which is nice. (I realize the movie probably won't have one.)

As demonstrated by about one third of the movies being made today, a Morgan Freeman voiceover makes everything better. You put a shit sandwich down in front of me I wouldn't have the slightest interest in it. However, if Morgan's deep, soothing voice suddenly exploded out of the stillness of my apartment to say "That shit sandwich in front of me meant only one thing... that all the rest of the sandwichs had..." Fuck, I bet you by the time he was done yapping I'd have eaten the sandwich.

By the way, if someone asks you if you wanna be the sheep or the wolf, you should first weigh the chances of that person being able to slap you in the face, if those chances are low, you should then answer with an animal bigger than a wolf. Like say "Me? Oh, I'm a grizzly bear." Or "I'm a komodo dragon." Make sure to limit your choices to aggresive, larger-than-wolf animals, though. Saying you're a dolphin doesn't really buy you much.

This looks good, but it'd look more gooder if everyone was wearing capes. And Tommy Lee Jones better have a cameo.


TheCoolerKing buys his comics at the legendary Golden Apple on Melrose... where he's been secretly plotting to steal their "Radd" Silver Surfer statue.