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Somebody Beat Up Fabio, And That Somebody Was George Clooney!

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 7 2007 8:00 PM

Submitted by TheCoolerKing. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: George Clooney, Fabio

Or, maybe Fabio mopped the floor with Clooney.

George Clooney got into a fight with romance novel coverboy Fabio during dinner at Madeo in West Hollywood on November 2.

Holy shit, what? I'm not really a fan of tabloidy shit, but, man, this is just too odd not to write about. I can't imagine a more surreal battle. Big Bird versus Gordon Ramsey, Seinfeld versus David Hasselhoff, Mike Tyson versus Joan Rivers and a poodle... None of those has the ring or the cachet of this battle.

I honestly wish I could write about odd fights every single day of my life. However, this Clooney/Fabio happening so far from the apocalypse makes me wonder if every battle after this one will be anticlimactic? Or, does it mean the apocalypse is actually coming sooner than we thought? I thought Kid Rock versus Tommy Lee was something, but this makes that look like a three-round preliminary bout.

Fabio and a group of women, including a professional photographer, were sitting at a table next to George and his girlfriend, Sarah Larson.

Already, that right there, is super-fucking weird. Picture it. It's nuts... Had the story stopped right there, I'd probably still have written about it.

According to numerous eyewitnesses, George suspected the woman was snapping photos of him and Sarah, so he asked her to stop.

What? You're sitting with Fabio, what the hell do you care about Clooney for? Take pictures of Fabio eating stuff with his giant cro-mag head! I don't know about the tabloids, but I'd pay 20 bucks for a shot of him eating a baby corn, or slurping some chowder.

"I thought you were a nice guy," Fabio said to George as he approached the table.

Uh, oh. Everybody be cool... I picture Clooney removing his five-o'clock shadow, folding it, and gently placing it on the table, in preparation for the fight.

"Stop being a diva." [Fabio said]

I'm picturing Fabio opening up a can of "I Can't Believe it's not Whoop-Ass," but then setting it down nearby, just in case.

Those were apparently fighting words, because George stood up and the fight turned physical!

For more on George and Fabio's dinner debacle, pick up In Touch.

That's the best part. We have no idea who won! What happened? Is Fabio dead? Is Clooney scarred beyond the limits of his "ruggedly handsome" label? Will he now be refered to as "partially handsome"? Or, perhaps even, "ruggedly okay looking"?

I was leaning towards Clooney but... it's tough. Too many intangibles... Who's older? Does buffoonish-ness impede one's abilty to throw punches? Did Brad Pitt jump in?

The world awaits answers...

Hat tip: defamer

TheCoolerKing honestly thinks he'd have a decent shot of taking out Fabio.

108 Comments

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... 8

Heathen_Dave

Birmingham, AL

July 2005

NOV 07, 2007 08:11 PM

I bet George Clooney carries a knife on him. Several, even.

Money's on Clooney.

JasXD

Tallmadge, OH

November 2007

NOV 07, 2007 08:12 PM

Well... ain't that something.

Cassiel

Aurora, CO

September 2004

NOV 07, 2007 08:18 PM

I ♥ Clooney.

LostLucy

USA

December 2006

NOV 07, 2007 08:19 PM

Well. You know George is from Kentucky, and he just can't stand there if a man calls him a DIVA. Not that I love him any less. Not that I haven' t fantasized abt beating Fabio myself. Not that I haven't tried....

Gringo

Liberty Lake, WA

May 2006

NOV 07, 2007 08:19 PM

A little more of the story according to another source:

The encounter reportedly prompted angry Clooney to stand up and approach Fabio.

An eyewitness tells In Touch, "The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand.

"George looked annoyed. ... George was drinking but he wasn't drunk."

Clooney reportedly skipped the rest of his meal, asked for his bill and left.

Fabio's manager has refused to comment about the incident, but says, "George is lucky he didn't end up in the ER."

Maudite

I'm lost

March 2004

NOV 07, 2007 08:21 PM

My moneys on Clooney

Poontank

Fort Frances, ON

June 2007

NOV 07, 2007 08:24 PM

"I am Fabio"

but seriously isnt fabio some realy built model? Actualy come to think of it I have no clue how big either of them are so can't judge on this fight

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

NOV 07, 2007 08:24 PM

Could George honestly think he could take on this?!?

-TM

Fizzee

I'm lost

August 2006

NOV 07, 2007 08:24 PM

Clooney > Bird > Fabio

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

NOV 07, 2007 08:27 PM

i heard Fabio's glorious blond locks can be transformed into a whip that can take an eye out.

I'd still bet on Clooney tho.

scylis

Seattle, WA

November 2004

NOV 07, 2007 08:29 PM

Fabio's all look and no substance. sure, he might have muscle on him, but i doubt he can actually use them any better than he can install a new hard drive on his computer. on the other hand, something tells me Clooney's a scrapper.

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

NOV 07, 2007 08:31 PM

Fabio didn't have to resort to Bat-Nipples.

Clooney may has well spread some I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! all over himself, because he's toast.

-TM

scylis

Seattle, WA

November 2004

NOV 07, 2007 08:32 PM

thefreak said:
Could George honestly think he could take on this?!?

-TM

a commoner with a strength of 16 still isn't much of a fight. i bet Clooney's a rogue, too.

MrGinger

Portland, OR

November 2003

NOV 07, 2007 08:33 PM

They should combine forces to fight terrorism in the name of the Bohemian Club while wearing leather vests, using the N-word liberally, and bumping Brittney. That would be supermacho.