A&E has suspended production on "Dog the Bounty Hunter" issuing the statement:

I know that's very vague. Here's the deal. Dog was on the phone with his son, Tucker who also works in the family bail bond business. Unlike Alec Baldwin, Dog did not call his offspring a "little pig" but instead demanded that Tucker break up with his black girlfriend, Monique.

Now here is where it gets tricky. It's not like Dog is racist or anything, heavens no. Dog doesn’t care if Monique is black or Mexican. (That's very big of him!) All that Duane Dog is saying is that no son of his is going to bring a black girl around the family business because she will overhear them using the N-word. Monique will then tattle on Dog Dad and the empire that he's worked so hard to build will be destroyed.

You can hear his nonsense for yourself on this audio clip.

If you're a self-respecting person with a job and you don’t want the person in the cubical next to you to hear the audio, read this:

Man, Dog is hardcore. He doesn't care that his son is in love. He's not budging on this one. He must at all times maintain his right to use the N-word!

I don’t know who is worse, Dog or the idiot on the TMZ.com message board who wrote:

Yeah! No fair! Let's all stamp our feet! White people don’t get to do anything fun anymore!

I know most people are probably not surprised at Dog's true nature and will ask me what is the point of bringing this up? I guess I'm a horrible judge of character. I actually got teary-eyed the few times I caught episodes of "Dog the Bounty Hunter." After Duane Chapman apprehended his criminal he always soothed the souls of the neighbors looking on in horror. He would do what he called "a healing" which consisted of instructing the onlookers to forgive the person in handcuffs. I thought it was strangely beautiful, this gravely-voiced muscle man with fried hair, getting all spiritual on people's asses.

As far as the A&E Network waiting for the investigation to be completed before they decide on Dog's fate...what's to decide? We heard the audio. Dog says the N-word in his personal life and now we all know that. How awkward will it be next time he has to handcuff a black dude on the show? He's done. (If I find out that my favorite drug counselor, Jeff VanVonderen of A&E's "Intervention" says things like "damn wetbacks" in his spare time, I'm going to kill myself.)

Dog's black pastor, Tim Storey, told TMZ.com that he was shocked at Dog's use of the N-word.

And then he probably came home and said, "Honey, I helped some little N-words today. Gall dang it, they can be cute."

Dog reached out to Al Sharpton (because it's the law now, I guess) but is still waiting to hear back. In the meantime, Dog repented over the phone today to Pastor Storey.

Imus? You wish, Dog. Imus is just an old man who thinks he's a shock-jock. Besides he only said "nappy-headed ho". You said the N-word. You're among the ranks of Michael Richards and even Mel Gibson now. Maybe you guys should all get together and do a healing.