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  • FRIDAY OCTOBER 19 2007 5:00 PM

Seriously, Why Do You Like Will Smith?



I'm really asking. And I'd love nothing more than for you to reply with a detailed list of reasons that shows me exactly what I've been missing.

Obviously, I'm not a fan. But, I'd be happy to put all that aside, for some hard answers. I'll put away my feelings toward his manufactured street-vibe, the bland on-screen energy, the piss poor rap for nine-year-olds. I'm happy to forget all of that, for some answers, some closure and dare I say it, some understanding...

The idea that this humongous gulf separates me (and a few others) and the rest of the planet, has become far too unsettling to manage. How can we be so different? Are we not both flesh and bone? Do we not bleed when stuck and laugh when 30 Rocked? I understand hatred, selfishness, murder, even... but not this.

I've got to know. Why do you welcome his middle-of-the-roadness with open arms? Why do you line his pockets for the chance to witness his "fast-talking" hilarity? Am I asking too much? Being too picky? I mean, we've seen examples of funny people. People who can act, and act well. It can be done, there's countless movies that prove it. Why isn't he also expected to do these things?

Logistically, the idea that he has something to blackmail every single person on Earth with, sounds ridiculous. I'm begining to wonder if I'm wrong. Did Will discover that we were all descended from slugs? Is that the secret he swore to keep, in exchange for a career saying, "Oh, hell no."

This isn't me being a sarcastic dick. I mean, sure, that's part of it. But beyond that, I'd like this to be different than the usual "me mocking something, some of you agreeing and some of you attacking back" thing. At the end of this, I'd either like you to see the error of your ways, or, I'd like to be convinced.

I'll even do my best to get you started. I can't think of more than a few half-baked reasons, not even enough for a proper list, but here's what I got.

- He's tall and good looking. Is that it? I'll concede those two points, but, doesn't it take more? I mean nobody's lining up to see any Ted McGinley movies. (Yeah, I know. Apparently I'm also in need of examples of tall, good looking people.)

- People enjoy the slick, wise-cracking black guy character. That's true, but, aren't there plenty of actual black guys available? It's not like they haven't invented Chris Tucker yet. Or Method Man. Or, the self-described "cocky black chaeffuer from Die Hard. That guy was awesome, and I'd lay down at least fifty bucks that says anything Smith can do, that guy could do just as well. And that includes his Ali impression.

- People have a misguided, nostalgia-based fondness for his crappy sitcom. This group is a few hundred people at best, not enough to account for his worldwide dominance.

- Most people are dumb and ask very little of their entertainment. And they like people who smile at them. Hmmm. That's impossible, right?

That's all I could come up with. Tell me I'm wrong. Show me I'm wrong. I'm begging you. Explain this sadistic hold he has over you... or send him away.

Soon he will have ruined one of my favorite books, I Am Legend. It's a matter of days now, and there's nothing we can do to stop it, this time... I'm asking you now, where does it end? When do we say enough?




TheCoolerKing is also wondering why they seem to have taken all the vampires out of "I Am Legend" and replaced them with the monsters from "28 Days Later."

 

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Comments
KMFCM

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY
September 2002

OCT 20, 2007 12:11 AM


Will Smith is typecasted

that's why Pursuit of Happyness is so highly praised.. .because he never plays that type of guy

other than that, he's always in shitty summer blockbusters you don't feel like watching more than once.

I'm surprised he wasn't used in Transformers (but hell, it would've been better if he had).

I love Bad Boys 1 and 2.. . but Martin is the funnier one in those flicks

. . . . .but ya know. . .I have no problem with him being in shitty movies, if it keeps him from doing shitty albums.

KMFCM

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY
September 2002

OCT 20, 2007 12:15 AM


also

I Am Legend looked AWESOME


and then I found out it was about vampires


(if it's about vampires and it's not the orignal Dracula, Vampire Hunter D or the Buffy series. . .it's fucking stupid)

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

OCT 20, 2007 12:17 AM

TheCoolerKing said:
There are maybe 3 mainstream guys who do this, and last time I checked, they were gangster rappers. Is his rapping even up for debate? You can't be defending that aspect of his career.

You mean like what he was putting out 22 years ago before you were contrived and post ironic and pubeless?

Sorry, but his music, in a context you can't remotely grasp, was good and refreshing and entertaining.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

OCT 20, 2007 12:39 AM

reprobate said:
"This isn't me being a sarcastic dick."

Uhhhh, yeah really, it is. People are more successful and/or talented than you are. Get a helmet.


Holy shit. Were you really so excited to try and bash me you missed the full quote? "This isn't me being a sarcastic dick. I mean, sure, that's part of it. "

So, I guess you got bored getting pummeled by Reaper every day, but, is this really more fun for you?

reprobate said:
TheCoolerKing said:
There are maybe 3 mainstream guys who do this, and last time I checked, they were gangster rappers. Is his rapping even up for debate? You can't be defending that aspect of his career.

You mean like what he was putting out 22 years ago before you were contrived and post ironic and pubeless?

Sorry, but his music, in a context you can't remotely grasp, was good and refreshing and entertaining.


Oh man... I'm sorry, I actually feel bad now...

It's cool dude, have fun, I didn't realize your situation... Yay, Parents Just Don't Understand!!

claudewildman

claudewildman

Decatur, GA
June 2006

OCT 20, 2007 12:40 AM

He's just a fun charismatic guy. His acting isnt epic but it's not Keanu Reeves bad either.

His rap get's a lot of flack because he dosent give into the hip-hop industry and talk about bitches, hoes, guns, and rims, but is that really a bad thing? Maybe there are better rappers out there who also dont talk about bitches, hoes, guns, and rims and if you can name some please let me know.

He is funny but he dosent need to degrade everyone and curse every third word to be funny like so many comedians.

Will Smith is just a really likeable guy that was in the right place at the right time and was discovered. I'd dare say anyone with his charisma and personality could be super famous, as he is, if they were in the right place at the right time.

Seriously, arent there far far far more men in Hollywood truly worthy of such critisism? Here, I'll even give you a list.

Jimmy Fallon- not funny, bad actor, childish, dumb, etc......

Dane Cook - only averagely funny, horrible actor, etc....

Chris Tucker - plays same blaxploitation character in every movie and plays it badly

Eddie Griffin - see description of Chris Tucker

Carlos Mensia - Steals jokes, original material is not funny, horrible actor

Orlando Bloom - Horrible actor, put in movies just so women will flock to see them

Hayden Christensen - His method for playing the character that would one day become Darth Vader was to whine as much as possible? Enough said.

Keanu Reeves- Seriously, why the hell do they keep casting him? Do enough people really enjoy him in movies that they couldnt possibly pick someone else to play the part?

Every male actor on Friends - I feel bad for Courtney and Jennifer, what with having to carry Friends on their backs and all.

Okay, I need to stop myself, but I could easily keep going. There really are a lot more male actors who deserve the critisim much more than Will Smith does.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

OCT 20, 2007 12:55 AM

TheCoolerKing said:
So, I guess you got bored getting pummeled by Reaper every day,



Now that's funny!

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

OCT 20, 2007 01:28 AM


- People enjoy the slick, wise-cracking black guy character. That's true, but, aren't there plenty of actual black guys available? It's not like they haven't invented Chris Tucker yet. Or Method Man. Or, the self-described "cocky black chaeffuer from Die Hard. That guy was awesome, and I'd lay down at least fifty bucks that says anything Smith can do, that guy could do just as well. And that includes his Ali impression.



No malice intended, what is an "actual black guy?"

madchad

madchad

I'm lost
September 2003

OCT 20, 2007 01:36 AM

For me Will Smith and Woopie Goldburg reside in the same place. Somewhere like hell, but solely reserved for terrible black actors that people think are funny cause they're black and silly. Oh, and Chris Tucker is there too.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 20, 2007 01:49 AM

madchad said:
For me Will Smith and Woopie Goldburg reside in the same place. Somewhere like hell, but solely reserved for terrible black actors that people think are funny cause they're black and silly. Oh, and Chris Tucker is there too.


So, you organize people by color and then rate them?

I see.

Do you have OCD or are you just an asshole?

Poe

Poe

SUICIDEGIRL

Maine, USA

OCT 20, 2007 02:00 AM

I agree with what everyone said about why they like Will Smith. I never had a problem with his acting, or his music. On the other hand, you're supposed to be a comic, right? Well then, I will say Will Smith is at least funnier than you.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

OCT 20, 2007 02:10 AM

I neither like nor dislike Will Smith. He's done a decent job in some movies that were entertaining. I don't listen to rap so I don't really care about the musical side of his career. And I think Fresh Prince was, eh...a little before my generation.

Just doesn't have the kind of talent or lack thereof that'd make me take notice. Usually appropriately cast for the roles he plays, even if the roles aren't always appropriate for the material the movie's based on (I, Robot). Not an amazing actor, but not wooden and one-note like, say, Keanu Reeves. Not batshit crazy like Tom Cruise.

achille

achille

France
February 2005
joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

OCT 20, 2007 02:52 AM

TheGringo said:

madchad said:
For me Will Smith and Woopie Goldburg reside in the same place. Somewhere like hell, but solely reserved for terrible black actors that people think are funny cause they're black and silly. Oh, and Chris Tucker is there too.


So, you organize people by color and then rate them?

I see.

Do you have OCD or are you just an asshole?



That was not hippie like wink

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

OCT 20, 2007 03:12 AM

joker_ said:
That was not hippie like wink


Probably not...but I left it open so the OP could answer me and we'd have open communication and maybe he would see that people don't have to be put into color categories and can just be judged on their own merits...and...and...and...hug and then flowers would shoot out of our asses.

Then the song "Joy To The World" by Three Dog Night would play.

P.S. What in the hell are you doing up at this hour? I thought I was my shift to be the insomniac.

I've heard that warm milk helps....but the petting zoo has got to be closed at this hour. frown

Jace

Jace

San Francisco, CA
February 2004

OCT 20, 2007 03:59 AM

I've never been captivated by Will Smith. He strikes me very much the same way as Robin Williams and Jack Black - they have a "thing" that they do, or a very small set of "things" that they do, and they star in movie after movie doing pretty much that same thing over and over because the studios know it will make money. I'm convinced there's a vault full of Will Smith movies, all queued up for release every 20 months or so, with blanks in the script for the leading hot actress to fill in his female love interest role about 3 days before shooting starts.

Robin Williams: crazy voices, lots of hand motions, good with kids. Usually plays a "this guy is going SO AGAINST THE GRAIN, and nobody understands him except the people he's trying to help, then at the end of the movie everyone sees what a great person he is and everything ends really well." See: Mrs. Doubtfire, Patch Adams, RV.

Jack Black: a louder, more obnoxious, less funny (not that he was ever really funny) Chris Farley. Jumps around and screams a lot. Breaks stuff. Is a rebel without a cause. See: Rock School, that stupid Tenacious D movie.

Will Smith: is a charming ladies man who is always smooth, but kind of dorky in a loveable way. Quick, snappy comebacks galore. Usually kind of a douche but ends up learning from his counterpart in the movie and coming around. See: Men in Black, Wild Wild West, Hitch.

Also - to the person who said that Courtney Cox and Jennifer Anniston must have been tired due to carrying the cast of FRIENDS on their backs... uhh... what the fuck? The only talented person on that show was Matthew Perry, and even still his character, like all the others, sucked.

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