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  • TUESDAY OCTOBER 2 2007 8:00 PM

Meet the Douchebag!



You may've heard that noted creep and "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis is in jail. Apparently the charge was guilty of being a piece of shit? I don't know, I'm not a lawyer. Now, instead of just ducking his head and going about his douche-battle for freedom in privacy, he's created a website hoping to win you over.

It takes a lot for me to side with with religious wack-jobs, and the ones going after Francis have somehow managed the task.

The site is loaded with goofy "headshots" which do their best to portray Francis as a charming, fun-loving dude. Not the kind of "head shots," I'd hope we'd be talking about in a story involving Francis, but, hey you can't have everything...

The site contains a section detailing His Story. It is 18 pages long. Eighteen. Surely the heroic act of him having been born and all his legendary deeds since that fateful day, could've been relayed in, oh, some number less than 18 pages? I think so.

There's also a photo gallery, for all your Joe Francis-photo needs. Like, for example, if you were a particularly unscrupulous charades player, and you needed to get your team to say, "shit-bag," you could point to one of these photos.

There's also a FAQ section. Here's me taking cheap shots at that section:

Q: How did you come up with the name "Girls Gone Wild"?
A: Once I had the first tape edited together, I knew I needed a catchy name. During a cross-country flight, I took out a legal pad and just started brainstorming. I love being creative, so I spent hours writing and scratching out hundreds of names. I finally settled on "College Girls Gone Wild" - and then, at the last minute, I crossed out the word "College" and circled the words "Girls Gone Wild." I had my brand.


Wow, I really feel sorry for those people who got to witness the signing of the Magna Carta or the creation of the Mona Lisa, or more recently, those who watched the great Muhammad Ali in the ring. It really is a shame they don't let you pick the "legendary moments" to witness. Sad, how they were forced to go through life, so much the poorer for never having heard the tale of Joe's momentous feat.

Also, he "loves being creative," and yet it took him over several hundred tries to come up with the title, "Girls Gone Wild." But, remember, he loves being creative.

Q: Why do you think all those girls are willing to flash for your cameras?
A: I think it’s a couple of things. First, girls enjoy attention. It’s a simple female trait that the average girl needs and deserves a healthy amount of attention. Second, it’s a form of expression. College-age girls are beginning to enjoy their independence, and flashing is a way of saying, "This is my body, I’m proud of it and I don’t mind giving you a chance to admire it." It’s as simple as that, really. I don’t think it’s a sexual act. I honestly think it’s just an expression of fun and freedom.


Ah yes, alcohol and drug-fueled, instantly regrettable, underage... freedom. Oh, you girls and your endless desire for attention! Joe sure has figured it all out.

Q: Do you see yourself ever settling down and getting married?
A: Absolutely. I’m a romantic guy, and I am really looking forward to starting a family.


Awwwwww! Right ladies? Such a softie!

Q: Does your job allow you to have sex with a lot of girls?
A: Well, it’s not because of my job; I don’t use my job in that way. I guess the correct answer is "as many as possible." I’m not always successful, but I probably deserve an "A" for effort. My philosophy is that it never hurts to ask...


Fucking high five, brah!

...But as the brother of three sisters, I know very well that "No" means "No."


Yes, because that's the only situation where you'd ever learn that lesson.

Q: Do you really have a private jet?
A: Yes. I took my first ride in a private jet about six years ago, and found the freedom of the whole experience so amazing that I bought a Falcon jet three weeks later.


Who's asking these question, a fucking six-year-old? Hey, Joe, have you ever met a real live fireman?

Q: Do angry dads, brothers or boyfriends come after you?
A: It’s only happened once. In our second year of business, a gentleman called our offices. When I answered, he said, "Who is this?" I told him, and he said, "Did my daughter flash for your cameras?" I looked up the paperwork on his daughter and said, "Yes. I’m looking at her signed release. How can I help you?" There was a long silence, and finally he said, "Well, I guess she wanted to do it, or she wouldn’t have done it." I agreed, and he said, "Long as I have you on the phone, do you think you could send me some free videos?"


See folks, completely fabricated situations don't lie. This fictional gentleman from made-up-land would surely attest to that.

Joe goes on to describe how women are like cats, explain which part of the country has the hottest chicks, and talk about his desire to have a family.

The most shocking thing about all of this? He actually built this site to help his cause.



TheCoolerking seems to be drinking far too much coffee lately. He also sometimes types the word "coffee," when he means, "whisky."

 

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Comments
Holdenwrites

Holdenwrites

Miami, FL
December 2004

OCT 03, 2007 02:15 AM

TheCoolerKing said:

D2 said:

TheCoolerKing said:

Pagz said:
I appreciate that TheCoolerKing doesn't like Joe Francis, who does? But his article is one sided, completely biased, and entirely without any journalistic integrity of any kind.


I just ripped up my press pass and that little ticket thingy they wore in their old-timey fedoras.



You didn't give away the fedora though, did you? I hope you realize how much adventuring you can get in with that hat and a nifty leather jacket.


Well, okay I guess... As long as there aren't any snakes.



According to MSPaint, you're pretty much fucked. Also, you've got an extra ear for some reason.

shapeshifter23

shapeshifter23

San Francisco, CA
September 2005

OCT 03, 2007 02:50 AM

Completely irrelevant, but here is some comic relief I feel compelled to share (TCK oughta get a rise out this at the very least)...

lefthandright

lefthandright

New Zealand
September 2006

OCT 03, 2007 03:22 AM

What a douche bag... he pays twenty bucks to young drunk girls to flash their breast for his t.v. show...man, what will he think of next?..maybe starting a website that flashes naked girls round and pays them $300 bucks to own the images, maybe even try to own particular tattoo's these women have,..maybe even demand he can use the images for whatever reason he chooses and not pay any royalties to the girls they are of...maybe state that if other promotional work comes there way because of the set they made and had posted that they need to ask for express permission first to do the promotional work...maybe even make a tour video of some the girls without actually stating that he is making a video that he intends to retail...maybe even sell some of the images to another website that the girls in question did not give their permission to use..and then to top it off when any of the girls complain he can call them names and kick them from the site, but still use their images anyway.... and when anyone asks questions of this behavior he can just refuse to take responsibility for it... that still leaves the question of what sort of catchy name could be used for such a site?...but unlike the t.v show of where they get a t-shirt,..maybe for the website he can give them a pair of,...?...pink knickers perhaps?

lefthandright

lefthandright

New Zealand
September 2006

OCT 03, 2007 03:29 AM

read about the history of this site.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

OCT 03, 2007 04:41 AM

Poe said:

Moonrabbit said:
Seriously boys, if you don't notice the difference between GGW and SG, then you're not paying attention, and obviously only see nudity as something to jack off to.





Hit it right on the nose.

Tangus

Tangus

Chicago, IL
November 2005

OCT 03, 2007 04:49 AM

I've always said that there's a special place in hell for him.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

OCT 03, 2007 04:51 AM

jquincy said:

Seachelles said:
Girls Gone Wild recently visited my small town. It was absolutely disgusting to see the women lined up outside and the men attending (who paid $20 a pop to get into the bar!)

My friend and I protested by handing out turtlenecks outside but were stopped by the police.

....I'll get you next time Girls Gone Wild! *shakes fist* mad



you're kidding right? they're "disgusting" for wanting to show off their goods, but somehow you're not?



The "somehow" being that as SGs we are generally not coerced, while intoxicated, to get naked for one of the biggest fucking useless wastes of skin in the universe. What Joe Frances does and what happens here on SG are so far apart they might as well be on different planets.

Aside from that, I doubt she was trying to imply that the women in Girls Gone Wild videos are being disgusting. It's not the action of showing your tits, or even drunkenly showing your tits that's being questioned here. It's the tactics that the people who make GGW use, the message they are trying to send, and the horrible personality of the main "brain" behind GGW that are being questioned.

If you can't see the difference I'd get your eyes checked right now.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

OCT 03, 2007 04:53 AM

Tangus said:
I've always said that there's a special place in hell for him.



He's going to the same special hell as child molesters and people who talk in the theater.

Erny

Erny

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

OCT 03, 2007 05:31 AM

id rather watch hardcore porn anyway hahaha

no sweat to wipe off my brow.

Seachelles

Seachelles

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

OCT 03, 2007 05:45 AM

Morgan said:

jquincy said:

Seachelles said:
Girls Gone Wild recently visited my small town. It was absolutely disgusting to see the women lined up outside and the men attending (who paid $20 a pop to get into the bar!)

My friend and I protested by handing out turtlenecks outside but were stopped by the police.

....I'll get you next time Girls Gone Wild! *shakes fist* mad



you're kidding right? they're "disgusting" for wanting to show off their goods, but somehow you're not?



The "somehow" being that as SGs we are generally not coerced, while intoxicated, to get naked for one of the biggest fucking useless wastes of skin in the universe. What Joe Frances does and what happens here on SG are so far apart they might as well be on different planets.

Aside from that, I doubt she was trying to imply that the women in Girls Gone Wild videos are being disgusting. It's not the action of showing your tits, or even drunkenly showing your tits that's being questioned here. It's the tactics that the people who make GGW use, the message they are trying to send, and the horrible personality of the main "brain" behind GGW that are being questioned.

If you can't see the difference I'd get your eyes checked right now.



Thank you. This is what I meant. It's just so hard not to piss people off on the message boards.

apesamongus

apesamongus

Atlanta, GA
July 2002

OCT 03, 2007 06:19 AM

DevilsReject said:

Kanner said:

DevilsReject said:Even if his rights are being intruded upon, i still don't care, the man means nothing to me. I will choose better things to fight for.



Everything up to this was fine. But this? This is very, very, very bad. =(



Why?


Because you only care about the rights of people you like.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

OCT 03, 2007 07:10 AM

This is possibly the dumbest thread I've read in ages. Wow. The nitwits really came out of the woodwork on this one, didn't they?

BonnieBlu

BonnieBlu

HOPEFUL

Australia

OCT 03, 2007 07:33 AM

Okay, so if some people out there don't really see a difference between GGW and SG then why are you here? It's coming across that you lump it into one category, anything with boobs is one in the same.

GGW is degrading, SG is liberating.

There is a fucking difference.

Tinyhobo

Tinyhobo

Boulder City, NV
December 2006

OCT 03, 2007 07:34 AM

oyaji said:
From the Wikipedia article on Joe Francis:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

In the August 6, 2006 issue of West, the Sunday magazine of the Los Angeles Times, an article by Claire Hoffman followed Francis across the country.[15] In it, Hoffman bore witness to Francis' numerous alleged illegal activities, including habitual supply of alcohol to underage girls. Hoffman reported Francis' alleged rape of an 18 year old. Quoting the alleged victim, who was under the legal drinking age in the USA and had allegedly been supplied alcohol by Francis and his entourage, Hoffman wrote, "Eventually, [she] says, Francis told the cameraman to leave and pushed her back on the bed, undid his jeans and climbed on top of her. 'I told him it hurt, and he kept doing it. And I keep telling him it hurts. I said, 'No' twice in the beginning, and during I started saying, 'Oh, my god, it hurts.' I kept telling him it hurt, but he kept going, and he said he was sorry but kissed me so I wouldn't keep talking.'" Then, she says, he opened the door and told the cameraman to come back, saying, "She's not a virgin anymore." She says she's haunted by that night. After the report was published, Francis and his lawyer issued contradictory statements, Francis denying that he engaged in sexual intercourse with the alleged victim, while his lawyer claimed that intercourse had occurred consensually. Hoffman also reported that she herself was assaulted and "humiliated" physically by Francis in front of his cheering entourage, stating that "the pressure he applied was so intense that hours later, my arms were covered in red hand marks".



Francis was arrested at the Panama City-Bay County International Airport on April 10, 2007 for violating a contempt of court citation during negotiations in a civil lawsuit brought by seven women who were underage when they were filmed by his company on Panama City Beach during spring break in 2003.

Lawyers for the women disclosed to U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak that Francis became belligerent throughout the settlement talks, shouting profanities and threatening to "bury them." Smoak ordered Francis to settle the case or go to jail; subsequent negotiations were mediated, but broke down, inciting Smoak to issue a contempt of court warrant. The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta refused to let him remain free pending an appeal.[34].

Francis was sentenced to 35 days in jail for contempt of court.[35] On May 15, 2007, Judge Smoak ruled that Francis will be sent to Nevada to next face charges of federal tax evasion.[36]



The Associated Press (AP) reports that on Thursday, April 12, 2007, Francis was charged with bribery, possession of a controlled substance, and introducing contraband (cash and drugs) into the Panama City, Florida jail. The AP reports that Francis (in jail for contempt of court) unsuccessfully offered a guard one hundred, and then five hundred dollars, for a bottled water. Jailers allegedly found drugs including Lunesta and lorazepam in the jail cell. Francis reportedly faces up to five years in prison if convicted on these charges.[37] The AP indicates that The News Herald of Panama City reports Francis left the court room crying as he was led back to his cell, telling his parents "I didn't do anything" as he was led away.[38] A psychiatrist hired by Francis' defense team stated in his report that Francis demonstrates "significant psychiatric issues" and did "express a potential for suicidal activity if his incarceration is prolonged."[39]



On April 11, 2007, Francis was indicted by a federal grand jury in Reno, Nevada on two counts of tax evasion[40][41] under 26 U.S.C. § 7201[42]

Francis is charged with filing with the Internal Revenue Service a false and fraudulent Form 1120S, U.S. Income Tax Return for an S Corporation, for Sands Media, Inc. (a company for which Francis allegedly is the sole shareholder, president and chief executive officer), for the year 2002. The indictment charges that the return overstated deductions, including $3,784,390 for construction of a residence in Punta Mita, Mexico, as a false consulting services expense; a false $500,000 insurance expense; and an additional $10,411,020 in false consulting services expenses.[43] The indictment also charges that Francis understated his income on his own 2002 Form 1040, U.S. Individual Income Tax Return.[44] The indictment also charges various violations for the year 2003, including an allegedly false insurance expense deduction of $1,666,666.67 on the 2003 Form 1120S return for Mantra Films, Inc., a company for which he allegedly is the sole shareholder, president and chief executive officer.[45] In a press release, the United States Department of Justice asserts that the false business deductions total over 20 million dollars.[46]

The Los Angeles Times has quoted his attorney, Jan L. Handzlik, as saying: "The government has chosen to make a criminal case out of what we believe to be, at most, a civil tax dispute [...] We are also disappointed about the timing of these charges in light of Joe's difficulties in Florida. This is turning into a litigation dog pile."[40] If convicted, Francis could face up to ten years in prison and substantial fines. The trial is set to begin on October 2, 2007.[47]



On April 25, 2007 in Los Angeles, Joe Francis was charged with a misdemeanor of sexual battery for allegedly touching an 18-year-old woman repeatedly on her breasts, buttocks and thighs in spite of her protests. The incident is alleged to have occurred at a restaurant in January 2007.[48]



He's a douchebag. Why are you people defending him? Is it because you just LOOOOVE looking at drunk girls flashing their tits so much that you don't care how that particular sausage is made? Or is it because you are a misogynist asshole?

I don't see a third possibility.



If I remember correctly sometime in the past few months he was photographed roughing up a female reporter outside a club in Chicago.
This guy is oozing class.

BonnieBlu

BonnieBlu

HOPEFUL

Australia

OCT 03, 2007 07:37 AM

bluepastures said:
Um, I'm certainly no fan of "Girls Gone Wild" or Joe Francis, but your entry lacks the slightest scintilla of journalistic or even intellectual integrity. You would do well to think twice and construct a cogent, coherent argument before pressing the "Send" button next time. And schooling yourself in English grammar wouldn't hurt, either.



I know this has been discussed already but i'm still curious as to why you felt the need to attack someone's writing style? If you don't like an article there's some perfectly nice pictures of boobs to calm you down.
Seriously though dude, if you need to make a comment and give your opinion maybe stick to commenting on the content of the actual article.

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