• commentary
  • TUESDAY OCTOBER 2 2007 8:00 PM

Meet the Douchebag!



You may've heard that noted creep and "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis is in jail. Apparently the charge was guilty of being a piece of shit? I don't know, I'm not a lawyer. Now, instead of just ducking his head and going about his douche-battle for freedom in privacy, he's created a website hoping to win you over.

It takes a lot for me to side with with religious wack-jobs, and the ones going after Francis have somehow managed the task.

The site is loaded with goofy "headshots" which do their best to portray Francis as a charming, fun-loving dude. Not the kind of "head shots," I'd hope we'd be talking about in a story involving Francis, but, hey you can't have everything...

The site contains a section detailing His Story. It is 18 pages long. Eighteen. Surely the heroic act of him having been born and all his legendary deeds since that fateful day, could've been relayed in, oh, some number less than 18 pages? I think so.

There's also a photo gallery, for all your Joe Francis-photo needs. Like, for example, if you were a particularly unscrupulous charades player, and you needed to get your team to say, "shit-bag," you could point to one of these photos.

There's also a FAQ section. Here's me taking cheap shots at that section:

Q: How did you come up with the name "Girls Gone Wild"?
A: Once I had the first tape edited together, I knew I needed a catchy name. During a cross-country flight, I took out a legal pad and just started brainstorming. I love being creative, so I spent hours writing and scratching out hundreds of names. I finally settled on "College Girls Gone Wild" - and then, at the last minute, I crossed out the word "College" and circled the words "Girls Gone Wild." I had my brand.


Wow, I really feel sorry for those people who got to witness the signing of the Magna Carta or the creation of the Mona Lisa, or more recently, those who watched the great Muhammad Ali in the ring. It really is a shame they don't let you pick the "legendary moments" to witness. Sad, how they were forced to go through life, so much the poorer for never having heard the tale of Joe's momentous feat.

Also, he "loves being creative," and yet it took him over several hundred tries to come up with the title, "Girls Gone Wild." But, remember, he loves being creative.

Q: Why do you think all those girls are willing to flash for your cameras?
A: I think it’s a couple of things. First, girls enjoy attention. It’s a simple female trait that the average girl needs and deserves a healthy amount of attention. Second, it’s a form of expression. College-age girls are beginning to enjoy their independence, and flashing is a way of saying, "This is my body, I’m proud of it and I don’t mind giving you a chance to admire it." It’s as simple as that, really. I don’t think it’s a sexual act. I honestly think it’s just an expression of fun and freedom.


Ah yes, alcohol and drug-fueled, instantly regrettable, underage... freedom. Oh, you girls and your endless desire for attention! Joe sure has figured it all out.

Q: Do you see yourself ever settling down and getting married?
A: Absolutely. I’m a romantic guy, and I am really looking forward to starting a family.


Awwwwww! Right ladies? Such a softie!

Q: Does your job allow you to have sex with a lot of girls?
A: Well, it’s not because of my job; I don’t use my job in that way. I guess the correct answer is "as many as possible." I’m not always successful, but I probably deserve an "A" for effort. My philosophy is that it never hurts to ask...


Fucking high five, brah!

...But as the brother of three sisters, I know very well that "No" means "No."


Yes, because that's the only situation where you'd ever learn that lesson.

Q: Do you really have a private jet?
A: Yes. I took my first ride in a private jet about six years ago, and found the freedom of the whole experience so amazing that I bought a Falcon jet three weeks later.


Who's asking these question, a fucking six-year-old? Hey, Joe, have you ever met a real live fireman?

Q: Do angry dads, brothers or boyfriends come after you?
A: It’s only happened once. In our second year of business, a gentleman called our offices. When I answered, he said, "Who is this?" I told him, and he said, "Did my daughter flash for your cameras?" I looked up the paperwork on his daughter and said, "Yes. I’m looking at her signed release. How can I help you?" There was a long silence, and finally he said, "Well, I guess she wanted to do it, or she wouldn’t have done it." I agreed, and he said, "Long as I have you on the phone, do you think you could send me some free videos?"


See folks, completely fabricated situations don't lie. This fictional gentleman from made-up-land would surely attest to that.

Joe goes on to describe how women are like cats, explain which part of the country has the hottest chicks, and talk about his desire to have a family.

The most shocking thing about all of this? He actually built this site to help his cause.



TheCoolerking seems to be drinking far too much coffee lately. He also sometimes types the word "coffee," when he means, "whisky."

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

10 | 11 | 12

Next

Comments
BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

MAR 15, 2008 09:50 AM

willam9 said:

Subrosa said:

willam9 said:
btw, i thought squire made some very good points, esp about how difficult it might be for some of the women to come forward. its a shame it was buried in with all that vitriolic nonsense.



I love people who start off trying to be snarky and indignant and then get all huffy when people fire back at them. Makes me all giggly inside.



huffy? how is that huffy? i was conceding that he made good points but i thought that parts of his argument were fluff. if i had said whatever, and never come back to read this thread that would have been huffy.

p.s. i don't know if people really want to continue watching only 3 people argue on an open thread. so if subrosa or squire want to email me, that's fine. if its not worth your time, that's fine, too.



No, by all means continue. Watching your sleazeball-coddling get torn to shreds is the kind of fun that restores my faith in humanity.

willam9

willam9

Philadelphia, PA
January 2008

MAR 15, 2008 09:56 AM

BlastProcessing said:
No, by all means continue. Watching your sleazeball-coddling get torn to shreds is the kind of fun that restores my faith in humanity.



where do you get that i was coddling him? i said he is a douche, just not necessarily the greatest ever and i asked what personal responsibility people might have, that's all.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

MAR 15, 2008 10:22 AM

willam9 said:

BlastProcessing said:
No, by all means continue. Watching your sleazeball-coddling get torn to shreds is the kind of fun that restores my faith in humanity.



where do you get that i was coddling him? i said he is a douche, just not necessarily the greatest ever and i asked what personal responsibility people might have, that's all.



No, that's really not what you're doing. You said something stupid and offensive and now you're backpedaling so hard it makes my head spin.

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

MAR 15, 2008 10:48 AM

willam9 said:

BlastProcessing said:
No, by all means continue. Watching your sleazeball-coddling get torn to shreds is the kind of fun that restores my faith in humanity.



where do you get that i was coddling him? i said he is a douche, just not necessarily the greatest ever and i asked what personal responsibility people might have, that's all.



Incorrect. You went from this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

really? i thought the part about being "lined up outside the bar" (seachelles) meant that they knew what they were getting into before they started drinking...guess i was wrong. they must've left out the lecture about alcohol impairing your judgement before you drink it at my medical school. sorry, carry on with your righteous indignation.


-to this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

"reading comprehension, slow folks," biting commentary, i'm hurt. really. you're right on the point that they SOMETIMES ask women who are drunk and as such can't give consent and enter into a legal contract. more importantly, their judgement is clouded and they make a decision that they may later regret. however, i highlighted sometimes because of the relatively few times he's been in trouble compared to the number of women who have been in his videos. my point is that people treat this guy like he's the devil incarnate when it seems like most of the time his videos contain consenting adults looking for attention/fame/exhibitionist thrills.

so, he's the biggest douche bag in the world because "one cannot always say" that women are sober when they decide to take their clothes off in front of the camera? did i comprehend that well enough for you? if i decide to drive after i'm already drunk, is it not my own responsibility still? this guy has made himself rich by exploiting people in a tasteless manner, but not in a way that's really all that different from reality tv.


-to this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

hahahahahahahahahahaha, that was good. really. assume much? you made several about me and they were all wrong. are you really able to extrapolate that much about my personality from a few posts i've made on one article? i disagreed with subrosa on one thing but i would never assume that he was an unethical lawyer or he was what was wrong with the professional world because of it, i actually figure he might be a pretty decent guy. i also don't understand why would you think i was an osteopath? that's not a bad thing, osteopaths and allopaths get essentially the same education.

jewels like me? how do you know that i don't volunteer at a homeless shelter or do charity work? you certainly were able to deduce quite a bit from very little. regardless, i never said that he wasn't a douche, i implied he wasn't the greatest douche ever.


-to this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

at what point did i say that ggw was cool? you're right, i did fire off the sarcasm first but, i never said it was cool. that's an assumption you made. again, what i was saying was that he may be a douch but i don't know if biggest douche ever is the case. as far as him constantly dealing with legal issues, i was under the impression that it was because individual cases persisted for long periods of time not because there was a large number of them. when i said 'relatively' i was comparing the number of times he's gotten in trouble with the number of women who seem to have appeared in his videos. if i'm wrong, please let me know and show me source that demonstrates how many cases he has against him. with that i'm curious, not sarcastic.

squire was right that some may be too ashamed to come forward after the event due to the attention that surrounds this guy, that must be horrible for them. my original point was never that there is nothing wrong with what ggw does or that this guy isn't a douche. i don't own any ggw videos, don't think that they're cool as you said and i do believe that its possible to see that he is a douche even if all you do is listen to him talk for 30 seconds. however, my question is at what point do you consider personal responsibility in the matter? i'm sure someone is going to jump on that and say that i'm saying blame the victim. i'm not, i'm just saying that even drunk people have a certain amount of responsibility for their own behavior. that is not a poor analogy.


-and in all that tripe, the closest you got to actual condemnation of Francis was saying once that he "may be a douche" - and that after scorn and chastisement. You defended and defended and defended Francis to death, and for your efforts your points were torn into nice little bite-sized pieces. This pleases me, and I await its continuance.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 15, 2008 10:59 AM

willam9 said:

Subrosa said:
[That, in fact, wasn't your point. The point you made above was that GGW was cool because chicks were lined up in front of that bar that Seychelles went to.


at what point did i say that ggw was cool? you're right, i did fire off the sarcasm first but, i never said it was cool. that's an assumption you made. again, what i was saying was that he may be a douch but i don't know if biggest douche ever is the case.


Dude, that's not what you were saying. Go back and read it. You started off defending him. You then conceded that yes, he does some bad things, but he's mostly on the up and up. Now it's "yeah, he's a douche." That's why you're getting called out for backpedalling.

as far as him constantly dealing with legal issues, i was under the impression that it was because individual cases persisted for long periods of time not because there was a large number of them. when i said 'relatively' i was comparing the number of times he's gotten in trouble with the number of women who seem to have appeared in his videos. if i'm wrong, please let me know and show me source that demonstrates how many cases he has against him. with that i'm curious, not sarcastic.


You're partially right in that some of these cases last a long time. For example, the one that attn_ho linked to was initiated in 2003. It should be noted that those charges (which he plead no contest to) came from the testimony of seven different women. Then there was another case where he used someone's likeness without permission. Another suit was brought, and then dropped (in all fairness, because he had video of the girls giving permission. The girls argued initially that they were intoxicated at the time, but then agreed to drop the suit.)

But even then, it fails to list the probably hundreds of times when he has gotten away with this kind of shit because the girls either didn't care, didn't know, or didn't want to bother with going through the demands of pressing charges. Gringo cited one such potential case here. I'm sure if you do a little more searching on your own, you'll find plenty.

Not to mention his awesomely aggressive and misogynistic behavior in 2006 to an LA Times Reporter. Basically, the guy is fucking scum.

squire was right that some may be too ashamed to come forward after the event due to the attention that surrounds this guy, that must be horrible for them. my original point was never that there is nothing wrong with what ggw does or that this guy isn't a douche. i don't own any ggw videos, don't think that they're cool as you said and i do believe that its possible to see that he is a douche even if all you do is listen to him talk for 30 seconds. however, my question is at what point do you consider personal responsibility in the matter?


With something like this, there's always a measure of personal responsibility. Of course, just a measure of it doesn't necessarily trump the fact that this guy has built an empire on getting girls drunk, getting them to take their shirts off and then selling it to people. Sure, the girls may have been willing on some level (or on all levels in some cases), but that doesn't divorce responsibility from Francis as well. It's a balance thing. It may be that the vast majority of the time the lion's share of the responsibility for the decision to get naked falls on the women involved. But there is plenty of evidence of plenty of cases where it is not. If Francis were a decent human being, he wouldn't choose to profit off of those legally incapacitated folks. But he isn't a decent human being, so he does.

i'm sure someone is going to jump on that and say that i'm saying blame the victim. i'm not, i'm just saying that even drunk people have a certain amount of responsibility for their own behavior. that is not a poor analogy.


It's an awful analogy for the reason I said above. If you chose to drive while drunk, it is your own individual decision. If you're drunk and some guy does everything he can to get you to take your top off for a camera, you're being goaded to do something while you're in a vulnerable position. The two situations aren't remotely comparable.

If we were to accept your analogy, we'd have to accept it for situations where guys get girls drunk and then date rape them. If you still can't see the difference between choosing to drive drunk and being convinced to do something that you wouldn't do if you weren't drunk, then there's nothing more I can do for you.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

MAR 15, 2008 11:08 AM

I am loving how this thread is turning out. It's like watching a mouse try to battle a lion. A lawyer-lion!

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAR 15, 2008 10:12 PM

If this has been covered, I apologize...but I'm just curious what people think of Guys Gone Wild.

-TM

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 21, 2008 07:24 PM

Francis took video of Spitzer's Whore when she was 17. Her lawyers allege Francis knew this at the time of filming.

Just sayin'.

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

MAR 22, 2008 01:05 PM

Subrosa said:
Francis took video of Spitzer's Whore when she was 17. Her lawyers allege Francis knew this at the time of filming.

Just sayin'.



whoa, its like six degrees of EWWWW in that link,

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAR 22, 2008 01:14 PM

attn_ho said:

Subrosa said:
Francis took video of Spitzer's Whore when she was 17. Her lawyers allege Francis knew this at the time of filming.

Just sayin'.


whoa, its like six degrees of EWWWW in that link,


Well, "EWWWW" as it may be, it may not be illegal.

Ed Griffith, spokesman for the Miami-Dade County state attorney's office, declined to comment on the subject, adding that "we would be foolish to make a broad general statement."

Lewd or lascivious acts committed upon or in the presence of those under 16 is illegal in Florida, said Miami-based defense attorney Roy Kahn. "Just taking nude video or photographs alone in a public place wouldn't be illegal if the person is 17. It doesn't violate lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor," Kahn said.


-TM

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

MAR 22, 2008 01:29 PM

thefreak said:

attn_ho said:

Subrosa said:
Francis took video of Spitzer's Whore when she was 17. Her lawyers allege Francis knew this at the time of filming.

Just sayin'.


whoa, its like six degrees of EWWWW in that link,


Well, "EWWWW" as it may be, it may not be illegal.


i was more reacting to the career timeline. shes becoming like waldo, where will she pop up next? can we make this a movie of the week already? has the story been optioned, with diablo cody hired on as screenwriter?

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAR 22, 2008 07:09 PM

attn_ho said:

thefreak said:

attn_ho said:
whoa, its like six degrees of EWWWW in that link,


Well, "EWWWW" as it may be, it may not be illegal.


i was more reacting to the career timeline. shes becoming like waldo, where will she pop up next? can we make this a movie of the week already? has the story been optioned, with diablo cody hired on as screenwriter?


Eh, I could give a rat's ass about her. The Larry Craig scandal was funnier, anyway.

-TM

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 22, 2008 07:42 PM

thefreak said:
If this has been covered, I apologize...but I'm just curious what people think of Guys Gone Wild.

-TM



I often wonder if the guys in the videos realize who the intended audience is.

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAR 22, 2008 08:48 PM

Cigarette said:

thefreak said:
If this has been covered, I apologize...but I'm just curious what people think of Guys Gone Wild.


I often wonder if the guys in the videos realize who the intended audience is.


What? Straight ladies?

Ohh, I see what you did there.

-TM

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

10 | 11 | 12

Next