"Your withered shell of a carcass gets to play pattycake a few times before shuffling off this mortal coil and leaving behind a kid who will never know its father."

I'drather be a kid who never knew his father than one who was never born at all.

Hmm lets see... I have a father who might as well be dead to me but without the squillions of dollars in inheritance or the healthy gene pool this kid's being born out of. The kid should be so lucky...

Besides, if anyone deserves to father babies in his 80's and fuck woman decades younger than him, it's Hef. For a humanist like myself, the man is as close to a God-figure as it gets. He's the Don Juan or Casanova of our times.

Great. Now not only is there going to be another fatherless child in the world, but he/she will be blessed with three retarded mothers.

EDIT:

I just wanted to add that, to a child, you can have more money than anyone else in the world but they know one thing: I'm here. Dad's not. Period. Kids don't want money, they want their parents. My dad is dead and if he left me a fortune (he didn't.... but hypothetically speaking) I would give it all back for just one more day with him.

I painfully understand and agree with your point of view. Even before I read your article, the title alone sent waves of fear through me.

Pavarotti left a 4 year old girl who will only have pictures and videos of her father - sharing the same empty, non interactive memories the rest of us have. Always wondering what he must have been like. The man her mother fell in love with. The man she tells her daughter, loved her very much. A great deal will be left to her imagination. My heart goes out to her. Men like Hugh Hefner are selfish to have children at that age in my opinion. So what if he has the money to provide for them. After he is gone It is NOT the same as having them there.

I am a 43 year old father of 3 beautiful children, the youngest of whom is only 3. I know they will outlive me. But the idea of parting ways with them while any of them are still children is frightening to me. I want to be there for them. To share the love for them and from them with my wife for as long as she and I can. My mother died when I was 16. I had to grow up so fast then. My mother was the one I turned to when I had problems. My father would tell me what a dumbass I was for getting into such a fix, though he loved me and would help after he got off his soapbox. My mother would give me the counsel I so desperately needed, while still reminding me I'd screwed up.

My wife is a good mother to my kids. But she's the tough one and the disciplinarian and taskmaster. I am the one with the big heart and the comforting words of wisdom. I do so without dissenting with my wife. The children need us both.

It ain't about the sex, IMHO. Yes, the children received the gift of life. But I could not have a child knowing I probably wouldn't live see them grow up.

Immortality would suck. To paraphrase David Cross: you fall and break a hip at 200, and that's where you're stuck for however long, hoping an apple falls out of tree or something.

Spaying and neutering have nothing to do with grammar.

This chop has been busted by your unfriendly and curmudgeony old Biology Nazi.

Fair call. If I had a dad that cared I'm sure I'd say the same thing but like I said, my dad's not dead but he might as well be. My mum more than made up for that lack of father and I can say with all honesty that I don't think I've missed anything by not having him around. So bring on the money

I'm with Tart although I'm going to say that I might agree to give Paul New man a roll too

everyone else over 70 seems sorta... wrinkly.

Obviously Hef is doing it for
science.

you made so many points on mere assumptions in this article that it amazes me.

"As tempting as it must be to have the chance to yell at someone who looks just like you, I think maybe adopting a kid is the best way to proceed here. Or, getting an animal of some sort. Or, perhaps, being content to continue fucking women decades younger than you until such time as Pluto calls to you from his murky depths..."

Wait- why would it be okay to adopt a kid here? Because adopted kids don't have any feelings about their adopted families and the loss of their father won't matter? Or is it because adopted kids will already be fucked up anyway so you may as well throw them to the bimbos and the crusty old men like a consolation prize? "Adopt! OR maybe get a pet!" What?!

As for my real opinion, who are we to try to create or enforce a zombie hoard of perfectly adjusted little angels? I'd love to see "the girls" with a sullen, flat-chested bitter 11 year old on their hands in a decade or so.

Obviously the not about to die should always get priority, over the soon departed. Many kids never get adopted and five years with some old guy who will leave them a ton of cash is probably better than bouncing around foster homes until they turn 18 and are cut loose...

This doesn't add to the far too many people already running around and it helps some 8 year-old kid who was sorta fucked anyway.

Yup. At worst he's leaving behind a kid with a decent amount of family and a load of cash. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Lots of worse shit than having a dead parent.