Marcia, Marcia...Marcia?

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Anyone who grew up near a TV set any time from 1970 through the current "Nick at Nite" era knows the story of the WASP-y lady who was bringing up three very lovely perfect blah blah etc...or do you? Apparently some stuff went on underneath those sheets after the kids' 8 p.m. bedtime that was a touch more interesting than the thinking of pure thoughts and rehashing of lessons learned from Mr. Brady that day.

Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia, aka the fat celebrity who jettisoned the most blubber on 2007's Celebrity Fit Club, is coming out with a tell-all book in which she writes, among other things, about the sexy experimental escapades that ensued between her and her TV sister. Scha-wing!

Via 2snaps:

A source told The National Enquirer, "The most explosive comments will be how the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play. This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes. It's bizarre because she played such a virginal character on the show."


This news is so exciting I'm going to ignore the underhanded diss the "source" delivered in the phrase "the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie." How many sick little/old pervs writing fan fic in their aunts' basements are going to have their lives made by this? I can see it now. "I knew it!" the pervs will shout, then groan as they crumple to the floor holding their boners in their pale, hairy palms.

Or maybe I shouldn't ignore that underhanded diss. Maybe this whole thing stinks of that eternally less attractive sister, Jan (or Eve Plumb, whatever). What she lacks in prettiness, she makes up for in cunning, or at least that's what we believed in order not to feel so bad for her. Maybe she's been plotting all these years so that now, on the heels of Marcia's tremendous weight-loss achievement, she's orchestrated a piece of news that not only disses on Old Marcia's looks, but proves, once and for all, that everyone, her sister included, found Jan irresistibly attractive but was simply too intimidated by her radiant intelligence to say so.

Or maybe I need to spend more time outdoors and less in my windowless room making up '70s sitcom conspiracy theories. Whatevs. This isn't a theory, it's fact. Nice try Jan, but you need to give it up; Marcia is prettier than you. Gee whiz, one would think you would have learned by now. But then again, your bumbling attempts at gaining ground on sis are why we (kind of) loved you in the first place. Oh, Jan!

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/celeb/22349/Marcia-Marcia...Marcia/