It seems Ashley Olsen has signed on to play a "sexually promiscuous" girl in a film adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis' novel The Informers:

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I have actually read this book, and I can't even begin to tell you how very very wrong this adaptation is going to be. The original novel is deeply depressing. Seriously...I had to take long breaks from reading it because I felt the characters' dead, bereft brand of insanity slowly leaking into my own psyche. And when shit starts to go down, the horror of the violence is heightened 100% by the lack of passion with which it is committed. What happens when 50% of Michelle Tanner wanders into this nightmarescape? That's like making a movie about rape and incest and then casting Bob Saget in it. Oh wait...nevermind. It's nothing like that, because someone already did and it was awesome, while this is going to suck.



Also, we are NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW that any of the characters are vampires. That's a twist that comes halfway through the book, and it's masterfully done so that at first, you only get a hint, and wonder if you are crazy to suspect it. Even once it's obvious, the vampire thing seems somehow secondary...as in it's a symptom, not a cause, of being a rich, bored, brutally attractive dick head in LA.

Such a subtle, disturbing storyline as Ellis' calls for really good actors to portray it, and I just can't decide if Superman and Michelle are up to the task. On the one hand, my dead childhood pets can act better than they can. On the other, their lack of acting skills might turn out to be a good thing...the characters are, after all, emotionally dead, and that might work well with the actors' particular skill set. Also, that creepy, vacant stare Ashley possesses might help her to unwittingly heighten the sense that something ain't right in a useful, even chilling way (I think I have the right one):


I don't know how involved Ellis was in the casting process, but maybe he's grinning devilishly right now. I mean, what sick, sick Ellis fan wouldn't want to see that froglike icon of American innocence get all slutted up, fucked, tortured, and (if I'm right about who she is playing) ultimately devoured? I'm not sure how efficient it would really be for a vampire to do this, as she has at the most a pint and a half of blood in her, but for movie purposes I will willingly suspend my disbelief.

Actually, I've changed my mind...this is going to be the best movie ever.