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  • THURSDAY AUGUST 23 2007 7:00 PM

Eventually, Even Stan Lee Runs Out of Ideas

Submitted by TheCoolerKing

Edited by TheCoolerKing

Tags: Stan Lee, Marvel Comics, Paris Hilton



No disrespect intended to the man who started it all. I'm just saying it appears that he, much like you and I, is human after all...

Someone named Cindy Adams had the following to report:

LET'S don't anybody say Paris Hilton is a flash in the pen. Let's don't even mutter about this Feline Felon flaming out. The child is only beginning. Stan Lee, who brought you "Spider-Man," who brought us "X Men," who brought mankind "The Incredible Hulk," who brought himself millions, who is now bringing "Superhero" to the Sci Fi Network 9 p.m. Thursdays, is poised to bring us Miss Paris Hilton Herself.


Well, look at that... It appears, I don't like Cindy Adams.

"The plan is to make an animated cartoon show with her on TV. A hip comedy in the superhero comedy-adventure genre..."


Makes sense. She's neither hip, nor funny, nor someone who's ever gone on an adventure. Unless you consider navigating the bloated, hair-covered gut of a fat man in search of coke something akin to a quest for an enchanted sword. Oh, you do? Okay.

"We get on very well. This is a charming, very likable person."


I don't think he's using those words correctly. Charming doesn't mean what he thinks it means. Odd, considering he's a writer.

"Sophisticated. Great comedic sense. A fine voice..."


Yow! This is getting embarrassing.

"And seriously hard-working."


Okay! Now he's just fucking with us... Maybe he's been replaced by an LMD?

Totally unlike whatever the public is led to believe. And she has input. She attends every meeting. What we plan to do is truly tasteful.
"I'm doing a few of these kinds of shows. I'm working with Ringo Starr for a similar idea."


Finally. Somebody go tell that one guy who's been patiently waiting for his "Ringo Starr" comic.

Hmm, whom else stinks enough for us to center a comic around them?

"And I'm planning another with Hugh Hefner. Actually, he's not a sybarite. In my hands, he'll come off as America's greatest secret agent."


No... No, he won't...

Wait... What am I saying? The formula worked perfectly with
Stripperella, didn't it? Man, what a pop culture juggernaut that was. All those classic tales... I'm actually wearing my Stripperella underoos right now. Hey, anyone out there attending Stripperella-con this year?

Basically he's saying, let's take an idea that didn't wotk with Pamela Anderson (someone people like), actually find someone with less acting ability, talent, and general likability, and try it again. Nice.

He's still a god... and I've heard that the gods sometimes act in mysterious ways... This is probably just one of those times. Like Odin binding Thor to Earth or Zeus assigning the 12 labors to Hercules... This is some kind of test or, or... punishment or something, right? Once we figure out what we did to anger him, he'll take these blights on society far away from us...



TheCoolerKing spent 5 years of his young life in search of a no-prize, and it pained him to write this article.

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Comments
Vanessa

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

AUG 23, 2007 07:22 PM

"A flash in the pen"?

cindy adams needs to get her sayings right.

cyberfelix

cyberfelix

Los Angeles, CA
November 2006

AUG 23, 2007 07:22 PM

Wow. I want to cry.

I can't help but think of the scene in Mallrats where he explains how he lost out on love because of his passion for comics and made it feel real. Like you could understand why he chose comics.

Now its--fuck. I can't believe ANOTHER person is wasting their time on her.

I can't believe I'm wasting my time on her.

cyberfelix

cyberfelix

Los Angeles, CA
November 2006

AUG 23, 2007 07:23 PM

Vanessa said:
"A flash in the pen"?

cindy adams needs to get her sayings right.



You noticed that too. Nice.

Drake

Drake

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

AUG 23, 2007 07:28 PM

Poor Stan. So removed from the present day's reality. frown

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

AUG 23, 2007 07:31 PM

cyberfelix said:

Vanessa said:
"A flash in the pen"?

cindy adams needs to get her sayings right.



You noticed that too. Nice.


I took it as a bad pun. Pen as in "penitentiary."

Which of course makes it worse.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 23, 2007 07:34 PM

Vanessa said:
"A flash in the pen"?

cindy adams needs to get her sayings right.


Shit, and here I thought they were trying to be clever using jail humor.

[Insta-addendum] Fuck, TheCoolerKing's post wasn't there when I was typing this.

NoPantsDave

NoPantsDave

Cincinnati, OH
OLD SKOOL

AUG 23, 2007 07:35 PM

I really hate the phrase "let's don't"

MrGreen

MrGreen

San Jose, CA
February 2003

AUG 23, 2007 07:35 PM

Vanessa said:
"A flash in the pen"?

cindy adams needs to get her sayings right.



The sad thing is, I think Cindy Adams was TRYING to be funny. But instead it just came out dumb. Keep your crappy day job Cindy Adams.

Sevillus

Sevillus

New York, NY
May 2004

AUG 23, 2007 07:40 PM

Cindy Adams is the queen of bad puns. I picture her shopping and talking to her pals and she says, "That Paris is a flash in the pan -- or pen, as it were!" and her pals all chuckle and say, "Cindy, *you*!"

Then she thinks, "Oh god, when can I write that down and show all of America what it's like to talk to me over lunch."

And now she has.

stem

stem

Anchorage, AK
January 2007

AUG 23, 2007 07:41 PM

Why Stan, WHY?!

dingoes8

dingoes8

Milwaukee, WI
March 2004

AUG 23, 2007 07:49 PM

The worship placed on Stan Lee and other early creators (and characters) always bothers me. These guys told some good stories 50 years ago. They were pioneers, no question. But I truly think their creations continue to exist solely because comic fans are sentimental.

Imagine there was never a Spider-Man, Superman, Captain America, any of that stuff. Then imagine those characters were written for the first time in 2007, in an industry that has been maturing for 60+ years. Would anyone buy a book called Fantastic Four if it wasn't THE "Fantastic Four"?

I just wish the writers who are busting their asses today to come up with original ideas instead of retreading characters who've existed for 50 years would get the admiration they deserve. Instead, their titles get cancelled while there are 5 Spider-Man books coming out every month.

I guess my point is... Stan Lee is a legend, but no longer relevant. So the fact that he hasn't done anything worthy of his own name in the past 20 years doesn't really surprise or bother me.

Metaverse

Metaverse

USA
March 2005

AUG 23, 2007 07:49 PM

He's going senile...I can't explain it any other way.

OctEgon

OctEgon

Tustin, CA
July 2005

AUG 23, 2007 08:02 PM

God damnit, Stan. Stop it.

bairdduvessa

bairdduvessa

Centerville, MA
April 2005

AUG 23, 2007 08:07 PM

at least he's keeping busy

lolly

lolly

Madison, WI
April 2004

AUG 23, 2007 08:09 PM

I think this all sounds awesome.

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