It’s always a mistake to assume because you’re the best at one specific thing, that you can then pick another thing at random and also be great.

A hilarious, often enjoyable to watch, mistake. Michael Jordan playing baseball, “Magic” Johnson hosting a talk show, Emeril starring in a sitcom. Russell Crowe releasing an album… Somehow, the list goes on and on.

It’s mostly athletes and performers who make this mistake. Rarely does a carpenter suddenly decide to try his hand at accounting. Nor do you often see a tow-truck driver attempting to perform spinal surgery. Part of this could be attributed to the fact that most tow-truck drivers don’t surround themselves with half a dozen hanger-ons spouting, “You’re the best!” every eleven seconds.

Despite these humiliating public examples more and more celebs continue to make this mistake.

Well, according to the above paragraph, Fame was already a movie. Perhaps you could try getting inspired by something that isn’t a film? Songs for example, sometimes they’re inspired by a woman. Or by an untimely death. Very rarely do you hear someone say, “Here is my new song, it is inspired by Led Zeppelin’s 'Stairway to Heaven.'”

Again, Rocky was already a movie. A great one. About a hundred other films have been “based” on it. Soccer, dancing, even singing, have all been forced into the Rocky mold with varying results.

Yes, those are some HUGE differences. This story needs to be told. And retold. I don’t watch American Idol but I’m guessing that those who do don’t sit there watching it, saying, “This is cool, but I’d love to see a campy, poorly-acted, version of it complete with a pre-determined ending.”

The ONLY reason people watch this show is to:

1) mock some nut-job

2) root for someone from their hometown

3) watch a genuine competition

4) listen to shitty songs

This movie will only be able to deliver number 4.

You know who I’d suggest for that job? Actors. Professional ones.

Of course. Who better to judge the nuances of the complex art forms that are acting and writing, than a guy who had an idea for a reality show.

Look out tow-truck drivers, surgeons and accountants; he’ll soon be butchering your vocations as well.




TheCoolerKing acknowledges that the title of this piece is the worst pun ever written... by far.