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  • THURSDAY JULY 26 2007 8:00 PM

Michael Vick: The Ultimate Celebretard



By now we've learned that many celebrities (or celebretards, as I like to call them) don't exactly demonstrate the sharpest judgment skills. We've gaped and gawked at the lame excuses they've offered for their astonishing stupidity: Paris "didn't know her license was suspended," and Lindsay "was wearing someone else's pants." Uh huh.

But Michael Vick claiming that he "didn't know" what was happening on his property and pleading "not guilty" to dog fighting charges today is too much. His Nov. 26 trial date can't come soon enough. No matter which name you call him by, Michael Vick (AKA Ron Mexico, AKA Ookie) is a fucking celebretard of the highest order.

His 10-year, $130 million contract and (quickly dwindling) $7 million yearly endorsement portfolio have obviously warped his brain and led him to believe that he's above the law. His incredible stupidity and gall would almost be comical if not for the numerous dogs that he forcibly bred, trained to be killers, tortured, injected, tethered to car axles, starved, shot, electrocuted and drowned.

Dan Shannon of the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals, said lack of prosecution is [a] reason why dog fighting has not grabbed headlines.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't get brought to justice that often," he said. "People don't hear about it because there's not a lot of high profile cases."

The potential silver lining here is that as a celebretard, Michael Vick's fame has brought to light (and hopefully will bring to an end) the cruel and barbaric activity of dog fighting.

Mr. Vick faces a maximum penalty of six years in jail and a $350,000 fine if convicted. The N.F.L. could also take punitive action against Mr. Vick, perhaps jeopardizing the 10-year, $130 million contract he signed with the Falcons in 2002.

Not to mention probable, upcoming charges of racketeering based on the gambling aspects of dogfighting.

Do they have rape stands in prison?

 

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Comments
PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JUL 27, 2007 03:26 PM

Roethke said:

j1mdot said:
But on a more serious note, it's not all that surprising that a group of people who are rewarded for competitive violence (football players) might have hobbies that are also competitively violent.



No doubt football fans are going to contest this, but I do agree.


That's the same sort of logic that leads people to say "its not surprising that someone who pierces their flesh with needles or gets tattooed is a masochist with low self esteem."
Also, there has been a lot of talk that Vick, if he is allowed to play, is going to get his ass handed to him by the many, many dog-loving football players out there.

BigBadDaddy

BigBadDaddy

Portland, OR
June 2003

JUL 27, 2007 03:36 PM

Deion Sanders....what a piece of shit for defending this fuck. Sharing equal shame is Nike which took FOREVER to give Vick the boot. Any casual investigation by the Fortune 500 giant months ago would have revealed that Vick was up to his neck in illegal dog fighting, and thereby gave good cause to suspend the endorsement contract. This whole Vick dogfighting thing has been swirling around in the sports press for months, and it's obvious Nike was waiting in the wings to see if it would all blow over...sorry guys...it didn't just go away. Typical bad corporate ethics by Nike Corp. in my book.

GatBoy

GatBoy

Miami Beach, FL
February 2007

JUL 27, 2007 03:47 PM

DevilsReject said:

FearTheReaper said:

DevilsReject said:
i love my dog to death. He makes me happy. I love petting him, i love him being around.

But.

If the fucker is a zombie, i am putting him down. no questions asked.



Could not agree more. Same goes for the wife. I've warned her on many occasions.



awesome.

i totally needed a laugh. thank you.



So now you just gave Vick a great defense. He can argue that all the pitbulls that were fighting against each other were all vicious zombie type dogs. Wow. Not Guilty

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JUL 27, 2007 05:22 PM

FearTheReaper said:

thefreak said:

FearTheReaper said:
I have never killed a dog in a video game.


So, never played Wolfenstein 3D or Resident Evil? wink


They were zombie dogs! Big difference.


Actually, in Wolfenstein 3D they were plain ole' dogs.

Nazi dogs, mind you.

-TM

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 27, 2007 05:35 PM

thefreak said:

FearTheReaper said:

thefreak said:

FearTheReaper said:
I have never killed a dog in a video game.


So, never played Wolfenstein 3D or Resident Evil? wink


They were zombie dogs! Big difference.


Actually, in Wolfenstein 3D they were plain ole' dogs.

Nazi dogs, mind you.

-TM



Thank God I never played it. I didn't have an x box at that point.

sarahg

sarahg

USA
November 2004

JUL 27, 2007 08:26 PM

FearTheReaper said:

thefreak said:

Nazi dogs, mind you.

-TM



Thank God I never played it. I didn't have an x box at that point.



wolfenstein 3d was originally for DOS. blush

s5

s5

San Francisco, CA
OLD SKOOL

JUL 27, 2007 10:54 PM

Marcus_Cthulhu said:
P.S. Why do animal lovers support PETA when their stance is that people shouldn't have pets? Probably the same reason why rational people support a group that uses acts and threats of physical violence to support their political viewpoint (which is exactly what PETA does and is the definition of terrorism). Ignorance.



PETA's stance isn't that people shouldn't have pets. PETA is anti-breeding and pro-adoption, a position as "extreme" as the ASPCA and Humane Society.

I know that Penn & Teller show is funny and clever, but sometimes they lie too. Don't believe everything you watch on TV.

emperorreagan

emperorreagan

Baltimore, MD
January 2004

JUL 27, 2007 11:20 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Adroitbeing said:
This piece of shit Vick is dead. The feds have announced their intent to file a superseding indictment next month, indicating that they could include charges of racketeering, dogfighting (not in the original indictment), and the "Travel Act" (prohibits interstate travel or use of an interstate facility in the aid of a racketeering or an unlawful business enterprise).

They fired their first shot over Vick's bow to see how he would react on the strength of the limited grand jury testimony that has been released. Vick boned up being the honest guy that he is and hired the best legal counsel that NFL money could buy and entered a plea of not guilty. The feds however do not want a long protracted legal battle that highlights their own shortcomings in the prosecution of this despicable crime. No, they intend to overwhelm Vick and his legal counsel with evidence and further charges that practically demands he cop a plea.

Unfortunately, Vick will likely avoid jail time. However, his plea bargain will force the NFL to find him in violation of its rules and his life will unwind slowly, painfully before his eyes. Perhaps not enough punishment, but somethingI am going to enjoy watching.

Source



Vick will roll over on others involved in the "sport". That is what the feds are really after - the whole group. It is going to be very apparent to his lawyers it is the only way out soon. The evidence is pretty damning. A trial - even if he is acquited, would ruin him as the details emerged. He can't afford a trial if he wants to have any sort of career at all.



I'd be more willing to bet on the people indicted alongside Vick trying to roll over on him - I'd bet none of them are a Greg Anderson.

Though I do sort of hope Vick rolls over and the dog fighting business is like the big time drug business - snitches get killed. Regardless, I'm sure he'd have to name enough people with intimate ties to the NFL for a plea deal that his career would be over.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 27, 2007 11:37 PM

Anybody else get pissed off everytime they see the picture at the top of this story?

emperorreagan

emperorreagan

Baltimore, MD
January 2004

JUL 28, 2007 12:03 AM

And I should have read the news earlier: one of the co-defendants is already taking a plea deal.

dragonflower

dragonflower

Austin, TX
January 2007

JUL 28, 2007 12:38 AM

tether him to a car axel, starve him, electrocute him, then turn the dogs loose on him. skull

MrKingMob

MrKingMob

Chicago, IL
January 2003

JUL 28, 2007 12:52 AM

Alright... I've read the seven pages of posts and the multiple arguments being espoused here remind me of a similar string of logic that has never, ever made sense to me...

As a vegetarian I find it perplexing, to say the least, when a carnie decries the mistreatment of dogs/cats/greyhounds/horses/etc., when, for their next meal, an animal will be killed and, before that, mistreated to some extent. Now, I am well aware that in most instances these animals weren't tortured in the same 7th circle of hell manner as Vick's best friends were, but they are treated far from humanely.

One counter-point to what I just said would be, "Well, Mr. King Mob, you must understand that the social mores that we agree to abide by merely by living in our society tacitly state that some animals are OK to eat and mistreat while others are not." To this I say, "Fair enough. *But*, I have to applaud the various cultures who eat pig, cow and chicken alongside dog, cat and horse... At least their acceptable food animal logic is consistent." If it's ok to treat food animals poorly, then it's ok to treat non food animals similarly.

Of course I don't think it's ok to treat any animals poorly, and that includes not eating them, fer crissake. But if you're gonna eat a hamburger, you might as well do it in between your kick ass pit bull throw-down and your cock fight cage match.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 28, 2007 01:10 AM

MrKingMob said:
Alright... I've read the seven pages of posts and the multiple arguments being espoused here remind me of a similar string of logic that has never, ever made sense to me...

As a vegetarian I find it perplexing, to say the least, when a carnie decries the mistreatment of dogs/cats/greyhounds/horses/etc., when, for their next meal, an animal will be killed and, before that, mistreated to some extent. Now, I am well aware that in most instances these animals weren't tortured in the same 7th circle of hell manner as Vick's best friends were, but they are treated far from humanely.

One counter-point to what I just said would be, "Well, Mr. King Mob, you must understand that the social mores that we agree to abide by merely by living in our society tacitly state that some animals are OK to eat and mistreat while others are not." To this I say, "Fair enough. *But*, I have to applaud the various cultures who eat pig, cow and chicken alongside dog, cat and horse... At least their acceptable food animal logic is consistent." If it's ok to treat food animals poorly, then it's ok to treat non food animals similarly.

Of course I don't think it's ok to treat any animals poorly, and that includes not eating them, fer crissake. But if you're gonna eat a hamburger, you might as well do it in between your kick ass pit bull throw-down and your cock fight cage match.



Get the fuck over yourself. Why? Because it's the society we were raised in.

You're logic is laughable. You know why I eat hamburger? Because I don't have to kill it. Civilization over the years has made advancements that allow people to be fed by others. It allows them to do other work, like build bridges and what not.

And if you can't see the difference between letting someone else to kill animals for your nourishment and raping them and killing them for sport - or for not performing as a bred killer - then you are an idiot.

MrKingMob

MrKingMob

Chicago, IL
January 2003

JUL 28, 2007 01:35 AM

Well, FTR, I won't call you an idiot, but I will refer you to my original post where I clearly acknowledge the difference between Vick's brand of love for animals and the treatment food animals receive. I equate them not in degree, but simply in the facts that they are mistreated through their lives and then killed.

If I have your point right, it's acceptable to commission dirty work being done for you but inexcusable to do the dirty work yourself? If that's on point, then believe me when I say that your logic is as amusing to me as mine is to you. Where do we go from there?

I'm sure there are other rationales, but the best one I can come up with for killing animals for food is simply *that you can.* Take the Darwin stance and rock it. We're on top; fuck every other species. That's vastly more logical than a defense of I don't do the killing, therefore it's acceptable to me.

FTR- I'm less interested in having a shouting match with you than I am having a good exchange. I said these things in earnest; not to raise a ruckus.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 28, 2007 01:43 AM

MrKingMob said:
Well, FTR, I won't call you an idiot, but I will refer you to my original post where I clearly acknowledge the difference between Vick's brand of love for animals and the treatment food animals receive. I equate them not in degree, but simply in the facts that they are mistreated through their lives and then killed.



A statement you quickly contradict in your following paragraphs.

MrKingMob said:
If I have your point right, it's acceptable to commission dirty work being done for you but inexcusable to do the dirty work yourself? If that's on point, then believe me when I say that your logic is as amusing to me as mine is to you. Where do we go from there?



Yes, it is amusing logic. I don't kill dogs for fun. I do eat meat. It is hilarious that I see a difference between the two.

As usual, people like you do little for your cause. Congratulations on being superior to most other humans.

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