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  • THURSDAY JULY 26 2007 8:00 PM

Michael Vick: The Ultimate Celebretard

Submitted by Rahodeb

Edited by Rahodeb

Tags: Michael Vick Dog Fighting Pit Bull



By now we've learned that many celebrities (or celebretards, as I like to call them) don't exactly demonstrate the sharpest judgment skills. We've gaped and gawked at the lame excuses they've offered for their astonishing stupidity: Paris "didn't know her license was suspended," and Lindsay "was wearing someone else's pants." Uh huh.

But Michael Vick claiming that he "didn't know" what was happening on his property and pleading "not guilty" to dog fighting charges today is too much. His Nov. 26 trial date can't come soon enough. No matter which name you call him by, Michael Vick (AKA Ron Mexico, AKA Ookie) is a fucking celebretard of the highest order.

His 10-year, $130 million contract and (quickly dwindling) $7 million yearly endorsement portfolio have obviously warped his brain and led him to believe that he's above the law. His incredible stupidity and gall would almost be comical if not for the numerous dogs that he forcibly bred, trained to be killers, tortured, injected, tethered to car axles, starved, shot, electrocuted and drowned.

Dan Shannon of the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals, said lack of prosecution is [a] reason why dog fighting has not grabbed headlines.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't get brought to justice that often," he said. "People don't hear about it because there's not a lot of high profile cases."

The potential silver lining here is that as a celebretard, Michael Vick's fame has brought to light (and hopefully will bring to an end) the cruel and barbaric activity of dog fighting.

Mr. Vick faces a maximum penalty of six years in jail and a $350,000 fine if convicted. The N.F.L. could also take punitive action against Mr. Vick, perhaps jeopardizing the 10-year, $130 million contract he signed with the Falcons in 2002.

Not to mention probable, upcoming charges of racketeering based on the gambling aspects of dogfighting.

Do they have rape stands in prison?

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swirlyboy

swirlyboy

I'm lost
April 2006

AUG 01, 2007 05:29 PM

Marcus_Cthulhu said:
No shit he gave a BS answer in court. What do you think his lawyer said: "tell them the truth or you'll be intellectually insulting the listeners".

PETA should stay out of high profile cases like this that are already in the hands of the justice system. Having a bunch of terrorists speak on the reasonable side only makes that side seem distasteful (as is anything associated with the fucking douche-bag, firebombing, violence endorsing, "all pets are prisoners", hypocritical sacs of shit called PETA).

P.S. Why do animal lovers support PETA when their stance is that people shouldn't have pets? Probably the same reason why rational people support a group that uses acts and threats of physical violence to support their political viewpoint (which is exactly what PETA does and is the definition of terrorism). Ignorance.



By definition this country's forefathers, the ones who conspired and fought against the British ruling authority before and during the Revolutionary War, were terrorists. Yet they are celebrated as heros in America today. Terrorism is in the eyes of the beholder; whenever someone takes up arms to fight against what they consider an unjust cause or power, they are now labled a terrorist. But Americans call the Revolutionary guys "heroes, freedom fighters and patriots." That's the stupid side of every "PETA=terrorism" argument.

swirlyboy

swirlyboy

I'm lost
April 2006

AUG 01, 2007 05:38 PM

Benzino said:
Though his choice of friends is objectionable, has he been found guilty yet? Ummm no. Innocent until proven guilty anyone? I guess we should just forget the trial and lock him in a cage.



Yes

DorianChrist

DorianChrist

United Kingdom
January 2006

AUG 01, 2007 06:13 PM

With regard to the whole PETA argument, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. Just not mine.

I have my own morals, I'll stick to them, thankyou very much. And for the record, they don't involve torturing and mutilating animals for sport, but they do involve chowing down on a steak as often as is humanly possible. I don't need someone else trying to convert me.

I live in the UK, so I have no idea how famous or influential this man Vick is, but I will say that if he is guilty, then I hope he gets what he deserves. What he deserves, unfortunately, is not up to me.

WoLfamongstSheep

WoLfamongstSheep

Highland, CA
July 2007

AUG 02, 2007 09:43 AM

SixBoxes said:

Marcus_Cthulhu said:
PETA should stay out of high profile cases like this that are already in the hands of the justice system. Having a bunch of terrorists speak on the reasonable side only makes that side seem distasteful (as is anything associated with the fucking douche-bag, firebombing, violence endorsing, "all pets are prisoners", hypocritical sacs of shit called PETA).

P.S. Why do animal lovers support PETA when their stance is that people shouldn't have pets? Probably the same reason why rational people support a group that uses acts and threats of physical violence to support their political viewpoint (which is exactly what PETA does and is the definition of terrorism). Ignorance.



At last check, PETA was anti-pitbull. While they obviously wouldn't endorse something as ridiculously cruel as dogfighting, they do condone expanding current bans on bull breeds, as well as their widespread euthanasia.

I mean, why clutter up shelters with those vicious psycho dogs when all the cute little fluffy ones need homes? (not a direct quote, but rather near paraphrasing)



GatBoy

GatBoy

Miami Beach, FL
February 2007

AUG 02, 2007 05:20 PM

Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

AUG 03, 2007 06:49 AM

GatBoy said:
Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?



You are not relevant to this conversation at this point in time.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

AUG 03, 2007 12:46 PM

GatBoy said:
Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?



What the fuck does that have to do with Michael Vick and his current situation? You're beginning to sound a bit like Deion Sanders...

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

AUG 03, 2007 12:54 PM

GatBoy said:
Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?



That's a nice apple you have there....but it's got nothing on my orange.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

AUG 03, 2007 12:59 PM

GatBoy said:
Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?



Hooray! You went for the Irrelevant Post of the Year award, and you won!

What's your prize? You get to look like a jack-ass!

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

AUG 03, 2007 01:15 PM

wildswan said:

GatBoy said:
Lane Garrison, the 27-year-old former Prison Break star, may walk free in just 90 days!

After pleading guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter and drunken driving, Judge Fox said at the Beverly Hills courthouse on Thursday, "The fact that you may have some notoriety, I don't really care. We don't have all the information. I intend to remand Mr. Garrison today to the Department of Corrections for diagnostics."

According to TMZ, "Garrison will be sent to a California prison for 90 days, where shrinks and others will determine if Garrison is a suitable candidate for probation."

If he is suitable, Lane is a free man.

No real jail time huh? Interesting. Where is the uproar?


Hooray! You went for the Irrelevant Post of the Year award, and you won!

What's your prize? You get to look like a jack-ass!



"You have no right to be upset about 'X' if you're not upset about some other thing that has absolutely nothing to do with 'X'!!!"

GhostOfSparta

GhostOfSparta

Lexington, KY
August 2006

AUG 05, 2007 01:53 PM

RudieCantFail said:

Mr. Vick faces a maximum penalty of six years in jail and a $350,000 fine if convicted.



The real tragedy is that the maximum penalty is only six years. Vick and any others who engage in dog fighting should face much harsher sentences, like life imprisonment.



should be 6 years for every body found

Lil_Em

Lil_Em

United Kingdom
May 2007

AUG 06, 2007 08:42 AM

I would pay good money to see that bastard put on a fucking rape stand the sick fuck, I hope he rots in hell.

Good on Nike for suspending him, I just wish the NFL would do the same. The bastard deserves fuck all for the rest of his life, when will these fucking idiots learn?

What comes around goes around people................

ASSH0LE

ASSH0LE

Las Vegas, NV
June 2003

AUG 06, 2007 12:27 PM

Roethke said:

j1mdot said:
But on a more serious note, it's not all that surprising that a group of people who are rewarded for competitive violence (football players) might have hobbies that are also competitively violent.



No doubt football fans are going to contest this, but I do agree.



I have a number of friends who are rewarded for "competitive violence." For what it's worth, one of them has two pit bulls. Those pit bulls are pampered, and treated with nothing but tender loving care. Generally there's beers drunk afterwards and occasional dance-offs at the after-party. Then again, the people I watch knock each other around are women.

ASSH0LE

ASSH0LE

Las Vegas, NV
June 2003

AUG 06, 2007 12:31 PM

litlin74 said:
I would pay good money to see that bastard put on a fucking rape stand the sick fuck, I hope he rots in hell.

Good on Nike for suspending him, I just wish the NFL would do the same. The bastard deserves fuck all for the rest of his life, when will these fucking idiots learn?

What comes around goes around people................



I find it decidedly disturbing when people see rape as a good form of punishment for anyone or anything. Yours is just the latest worrysome incidence of this on the board.

Do you suppose being raped is going to make him a better person? Do you suppose being raped in prison is going to rehabilitate him? Do you suppose being raped in prison is going to decrease his odds of doing the same to someone else once he gets back out?

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

AUG 20, 2007 01:35 PM

Well it turns out he was lying the entire time...he's taking a plea deal. My hope is that he never plays another down in the NFL again...

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