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  • MONDAY JULY 23 2007 8:00 PM

Man vs. Wild vs. Minibar


I'm not usually a fan of entertainment where the subtext is, "Hey, here are a bunch of things you can't do... In fact, you'll never, ever, be able to even come close to doing any of this stuff... and you're a huge sissy."

Yet, somehow, I'm a huge fan of Discovery Channel's "Man vs. Wild" which features survivalist Bear Grylls, uh, surviving, just about everything the planet can thow at him. He parachutes into the wild armed only with the clothes on his back and sometimes, a flint, then hunts, hikes and fights his way back to civilization. Last week he gutted a polar bear with a spork before using it as a canoe to cross a lava flow.

And that is the subtext of the show. Every episode he punches Mother Nature in her fat-face all while pretending that one or two of us watching will be able to absorb enough of his lesson to survive.

We're not. And, we won't.

I've seen just about every episode and I can say with total honesty that I am no further from dying at any moment, than I was when I started watching. In fact, in the event of my death due to heat stroke, malaria, broken ankle etc., I'm pretty confident my last vision will be of Bear, shaking his head sadly, demonstrating how I shoud've tied the knot, and finally, hopping a ride on a nearby elephant and rumbling off.

Still, it's a great show. It's incredibly entertaining and filled with ridiculously cool moments. One of my favorite things is finding the moment in each episode, where, if I were in that situtation, I'd start crying. Sometimes it's during the opening credits.

Now there are reports claiming that portions of the show are faked.

...it has emerged that Grylls, 33, was enjoying a far more conventional form of comfort, retreating some nights from filming in mountains and on desert islands to nearby lodges and hotels.

...an adviser to Born Survivor has disclosed that at one location where the adventurer claimed to be a “real life Robin-son Crusoe” trapped on “a desert island”, he was actually on an outlying part of the Hawaiian archipelago and spent nights at a motel.

On another occasion in California’s Sierra Nevada mountains where he was filmed biting off the head of a snake for breakfast and struggling for survival “with just a water bottle, a cup and a flint for making fire”, he actually slept some nights with the crew in a lodge fitted with television and internet access...


Yes. You know what he did before he stayed in the hotel? He pee'd on a rag and then wrapped it around his head to prevent heat stroke. He bit into and swallowed a sheep's eyeball. He threw a stick (calling it a Native American throwing stick) at a rabbit, knocked it out, then skinned and ate it. I'm 31 years old and I've yet to catch a frisbee more than twice in a row.

People may use this as a reason to jump off his bandwagon (which is made of self-harvested yak bones and an eagle beak) but I don't care. It's not presented as a documentary, I don't see a night in a hotel revitalizing him enough to cancel out the prior day's hardships. If this is the extent of the deception, I'm fine with it. The stuff he goes through, the depths he's forced to sink to, tax the body to such a degree that I can't imagine making a habit of it is great for a long healthy life... If he's gotta stage a set-up here and there in order to, uh, not die, then I'm cool with it.

Bear, order a movie, set that wake-up call and flip the "do not disturb" sign... The sight of you paragliding off Everest on a Pterodactyl skeleton will be no less enjoyable because of it.

TheCoolerKing recently spent a night in the Catskills in a child-size tent because he doesn't understand how measurements work, and he was too stubborn to admit defeat by sleeping in the camper.

 

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Comments
masterfrederick

masterfrederick

Beaverton, OR
November 2006

JUL 23, 2007 08:07 PM

Personally I'm of a mind to ask the persons making the accusations to back their shit up... Then prove their own show to be more real than Grylls' series, which one can really only do by broadcasting each episode in real time, nonstop from start to conclusion.

Grylls kicks ass, in ways that my sorry uneducated self can only dream of if I were stuck in the situations he throws himself into.

ARRR!!!

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

JUL 23, 2007 08:08 PM

New extreme sport: Pterodactyl skeleton para gliding.

RunForYourLife

RunForYourLife

Islip, NY
May 2003

JUL 23, 2007 08:12 PM

Watch Survivorman.

Vivienne

Vivienne

Birmingham, AL
March 2007

JUL 23, 2007 08:13 PM

I still love the show whether parts of it are faked or not. I secretly hope to be able to get myself out of quicksand using his technique.

masterfrederick

masterfrederick

Beaverton, OR
November 2006

JUL 23, 2007 08:16 PM

Slickwill5 said:
Watch Survivorman.



I have. Both shows have merits, but Grylls' is more entertaining. Not only that, but I have yet to see proof that Survivorman is as authentic as it claims. Let's face it, folks, it IS television after all. Some things are just too pretty and convenient to have happened the way they are shown in both shows.

bri_bri

bri_bri

Philadelphia, PA
February 2005

JUL 23, 2007 08:16 PM

i'm a fan of this show myself. i haven't heard of these nights in motels but i have noticed deceptions in the actual show. when he attempts dangerous stunts i've noticed safety tools that he said he never had in the first place. like a harness and carabiner when traversing a rope line or a life jacket under his shirt when roughing the rapids.

this doesn't take too much away from the show for me but i wish he wouldn't try to hide it from us.

ferrofluid

ferrofluid

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

JUL 23, 2007 08:17 PM

many of the scenes do look "filmed",
you were really aware that in "survivorman"
the dude was filming his own shit.
this guy..
a bit too self hyped.
i keep wondering when he's going to say crikey.
though, you'd probably say he's use a stingray barb for his own tracheotomy.
angioplasty?
still,
i just caught it and enjoyed it.
but i missed last week's,
did he use the spork or the polarbear as the lavacanoe?

mydcmbr81

mydcmbr81

Wesley Chapel, FL
October 2003

JUL 23, 2007 08:19 PM

Slickwill5 said:
Watch Survivorman.



AMEN. Now that man is hardcore. No camera crew just him in the wild lugging around 50lbs. of camera gear while surviving for 7 freakin days. Les Stroud is THE MAN. And he looks like a normal guy you would run into on the street besides.

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

JUL 23, 2007 08:20 PM

I watch his shows. I do wonder about some of his techniques. Disagree with some of them.

But, he was a member of the British SAS. Those dudes are bad ass. In 1996, while doing a practice pachute jump, he ended up breaking his back. Two years later, he climbed Mount Everest.

Maybe he spends the occaisional night indoors. But the broken backed, Mount Everest climbing motherfucker probably earned it.

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

JUL 23, 2007 08:22 PM

I prefer Survivorman too. Even if he plays that harmonica.

Rory_B_Bellows

Rory_B_Bellows

Dallas, TX
April 2007

JUL 23, 2007 08:33 PM

I'd love to see a survival-off between Les and Bear.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 23, 2007 08:41 PM

Eternalexile said:
I'd love to see a survival-off between Les and Bear.


Whoa. I'd pay to see that... They are on the same network...

brokenbeatnik

brokenbeatnik

Atlanta, GA
May 2005

JUL 23, 2007 08:48 PM

I had heard all that too. Bear made me a believer when he "harvested" water from a pile of elephant dung. That's right, surviving off of elephant shitwater.

*shudder*

You know what, I'd just be dead.

voyeurs

voyeurs

Los Angeles, CA
December 2003

JUL 23, 2007 08:51 PM

i fucking love MAN VS. WILD. i have wondered how strictly he sticks to the rules of the conceit but i'm with the cooler king here: he still climbs limbless trees with no rope, eats gnarly looking grubs for protein and drinks his own piss when necessary.

i'm no survivalist - but i feel like, after banking a couple of seasons of this show, i WOULD be slightly more prepared should my plane go down in the amazon...

farva

farva

Portland, OR
November 2005

JUL 23, 2007 09:09 PM

YOU MEAN NOT EVERYTHING ON TV IS REAL?!?!?!

LOL

I can't imagine why any of these people accusing him of using hotels/resorts would care. It is T.V. not real life. He is still going through the techniques and such. The point is to educate and entertain. He does both, who cares if he has a nice bed at night.

I vividly recall him biting into a live fish like a taco... it was HORRIBLE. He is the man.

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