Here She Comes, Miss Ameri-- Click!
THURSDAY JULY 12 2007 8:00 PM
Submitted by TheCoolerKing. Edited By TheCoolerKing.
TAGS: Miss NJ, beauty pageants, photos

Is this a story anyone cares about?
Miss New Jersey released about a dozen embarrassing photographs of her partying and drinking exclusively to TODAY on Thursday. The blonde beauty queen claims the images were sent to pageant officials in an effort to force her to give up her crown.
Why am I hearing about this? I'm not necessarily shitting on the story, more curious as to who honestly cares about it? If you answered "I do," I'd like to hear why.
I'm not sure I even get what Miss NJ is. Is she in line to be Miss USA? Miss America? Does the winner get to star in a Sandra Bullock Threequel?
Beauty pageants? Is this 1940? Who cares? (Again, don't bother typing, "Lots of people do!" I get that, but who? Old Biddys? Old Biddy's cats?)
The photos really aren’t that bad, by contemporary standards, but they aren’t necessarily good for the 22-year-old theater major’s public image, either.
One shows a smiling Polumbo with a man she identified as her boyfriend, his open mouth over her left breast. Polumbo is fully clothed in the photo, which appeared to be snapped at a nightclub.
“This was meant to be private,” Polumbo said.
Another photo shows Polumbo, wearing blue jeans, spreading her legs high in the air. She said the photo was taken in a limousine during a birthday celebration for a friend. Two men are smiling in the background.
“We were tumbling around and someone took a photograph,” Polumbo said.
Still other images show Polumbo in various provocative poses. Polumbo is fully clothed in every image, but the photos could be viewed as contrary to the image pageant officials want to project to other young women.
Image? How is getting drunk and having fun more distressing than entering a creepy pageant and learning to juggle... or whatever?
I'm suspicious of anyone over the age of 6 who wants to be Miss Anything... Would you be cool with a 22-year-old telling you she wanted to be a princess? How is this different? Grow up and get a job. No, you don't get to be a unicorn, I'm sorry. It's not really up to me.
And who's the sad sack sitting around plotting ways to take down Miss NJ? That's what you did all day? Like, all day? You didn't try taking down a politician or corporate entity or... Did you do laundry, too? Cause then you'd have accomplished something.
“What would you think if you were in their shoes?” Lauer asked Polumbo.
Whoa, calm down, buddy. It's not that important. No decision made by anyone in this situation will ever impact anything... ever. They could render a thousand different verdicts, none of them will mean a thing. Better to ask a child which side of the pb&j he's going to bite from next.
If I were in their shoes I'd think: "Holy shit, what the hell am I doing here and why am I in charge of making decisons involving Miss NJ?!"
If you can enlighten me as to what the hell this is about, please do so. Then tell me how many pieces of unwrapped hard candy are floating around your purse. I'm actually curious.
TheCoolerKing never won a pageant but he did once come in 2nd in a spelling bee. He also seems to reference it more than is appropriate.

















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