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  • TUESDAY JULY 3 2007 7:00 PM

Mexicans Stealing Our Jobs, Starting From the Top Down

Submitted by TheCoolerKing

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Bill Gates, Carlos Slim, wedgies



We all knew this was coming.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates looks to have lost his title as the world's richest man, toppled from top spot by the Mexican telecoms tycoon Carlos Slim.


Way to set an example, Bill. What hope do the rest of us have if not even you can stem this tide? I knew putting nerds in charge was a mistake.

Three months ago the cigar-chomping Mr Slim quietly slipped past legendary US investor Warren Buffett to take second place in the global wealth league.


Guy who “chomps cigars,” easily trumps “guy who puts in cigarette backwards to look cool at party and ends up choking and making a fool of himself,” any day of the week. C’mon, we all know that had to have happened at some point. No doubt the memory of that night was what propelled him to greatness. And the fading of that ememory is clearly what has hastened his fall.

He needs the fear put back in him. The angry red-faced, spittle soaked chants of “Nerd!” ringing in his ears will re-ignite his once flaming passions.

I urge each of you to pull out all the stops. If we as a nation can spur him on to the greatness he once held, then he in turn can carry us on his brittle nerd-back to undreamed of new heights. Um, provided he doesn’t suffer from vertigo.

Purple-nurples, wedgies, the royal flush, the dick-kick, the New Jersey book knock… All tools we must use to get him back on the right track… and with him… America!

Now, thanks to a surge in the shares of his America Movil group, Mr Slim has claimed pole position, according to the Mexican online financial publication, Sentido Común.


Mexican publication? Hmmm… I bet it’s all a lie. Whew, false alarm everyone, call it off, no need to haze the geek.

Although, now that I think about it, a quick Indian Burn would only serve to keep him motivated.


TheCoolerKing does not actually advocate the pummeling of nerds, rich or otherwise, for any reason.

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TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 04, 2007 10:39 AM

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:12 AM

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



your general tone is one of american superiority. while i realise your intention was to be jocular, it doesn't come across that way to me. your editorial just wasn't funny. largely based on your attempt at a humorous premise that another job has been taken from an american by a mexican, when in fact it hasn't. illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.

furthermore, you're neglecting the fact that bill gates has endowed his charitable organization, the bill and melinda gates foundation, with roughly 40bn dollars of his personal wealth. contrast that with slim's 10bn to his own foundation.

one last thing that really bothered me was your discounting of a mexican financial publication's findings simply because it's mexican. it reeks of a sense that mexicans and all that mexicans are capable of is inferior. just because mexico has a lot of internal problems, doesn't mean they're not intelligent and capable of coming to defendable conclusions.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 04, 2007 11:22 AM

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:23 AM

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 04, 2007 11:25 AM

ignisfatuus said:

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.



i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 04, 2007 11:27 AM

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.



i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:28 AM

MessyJessy said:
i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



defend your position that it's funny.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 04, 2007 11:29 AM

Spock said:

MessyJessy said:
i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



explain to me this "comedy".



ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:33 AM

Cigarette said:
Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.



i challenge you to support your position with something more than an insult.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 04, 2007 11:39 AM

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



your general tone is one of american superiority. while i realise your intention was to be jocular, it doesn't come across that way to me. your editorial just wasn't funny. largely based on your attempt at a humorous premise that another job has been taken from an american by a mexican, when in fact it hasn't. illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.

furthermore, you're neglecting the fact that bill gates has endowed his charitable organization, the bill and melinda gates foundation, with roughly 40bn dollars of his personal wealth. contrast that with slim's 10bn to his own foundation.

one last thing that really bothered me was your discounting of a mexican financial publication's findings simply because it's mexican. it reeks of a sense that mexicans and all that mexicans are capable of is inferior. just because mexico has a lot of internal problems, doesn't mean they're not intelligent and capable of coming to defendable conclusions.



Ok, you're saying I chose to mock a subject that you feel is too serious to mock. NO SUBJECT is too serious to mock. But, more to the point, you still haven't shown how this makes me ignorant of anything.

I'm having a hard time understanding how you can guess that I'm being "tongue in cheek," but at the same time, take things I wrote at face value. To the point where my, um "American superiority," offends you...

I'm being totally serious, here. Maybe critiquing comedic pieces isn't something you're ready for. I'm not even trying to be condescending, I think you should practice on essays you find that you can guarantee are 100% straightforward. Find something that says, for example, "Up is down!" Then you can jump in (again, make sure you get the author's intent, this part is crucial) and say, "Hold on a sec, Up is up! It's not down!"

Also, everyone knows that any and all publications originating in Mexico are written, produced and distributed by Mexican children. Poor illiterate children. All the adults are too busy getting drunk to help out. They're the guys you should be mad at. And the only thing they're capable of "defending" is chupacabra attacks. U...S...A...! USA! USA!

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 04, 2007 11:39 AM

ignisfatuus said:

Cigarette said:
Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.



i challenge you to support your position with something more than an insult.



Careful... You're not really up to laying down challenges yet... baby steps.

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:53 AM

TheCoolerKing said:
Ok, you're saying I chose to mock a subject that you feel is too serious to joke about. NO SUBJECT is too serious to joke about. But, more to the point, you still haven't shown how this makes me ignorant of anything.

I'm having a hard time understanding how you can guess that I'm being "tongue in cheek," but at the same time, take things I wrote at face value. To the point where my, um "American superiority," offends you...

I'm being totally serious. Maybe critiquing comedic pieces isn't something you're ready for. I'm not even trying to be condescending, I think you should practice on essays you find that you can guarantee are 100% straightforward. Find something that says, for example, "Up is down!" Then, you can jump in (again, make sure you get the author's intent, this part is crucial) and say, "hold on a sec, Up is up! It's not down!"

Also, everyone knows that any and all publications originating in Mexico are written, produced and distributed by children. Poor illiterate children. All the adults are too busy getting drunk to help out. They're the guys you should be mad at. And the only thing they're capable of "defending" is chupacabra attacks.



i don't disagree that there is nothing sacred when it comes to comedy. i would nominate lenny bruce, george carlin (who has a routine about how rape can be funny), bill hicks, and sam kinison (though not a fan of his anti-gay material) as some of the greatest comedians of all time. those guys could take a controversial issue and make it funny; take an issue and find the comedy in it, creating the recipe for a laugh. you, however, failed at being funny. try your shtick in a night club and see how it flies. your jokes and delivery just aren't humorous.

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:56 AM

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:

Cigarette said:
Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.



i challenge you to support your position with something more than an insult.



Careful... You're not really up to laying down challenges yet... baby steps.



i love a good challenge.

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 12:02 PM

furthermore, i think the lack of comments on your piece speaks for the idiocy of it.

PRockGirlScout

PRockGirlScout

Portland, OR
October 2005

JUL 04, 2007 12:15 PM

Cigarette said:

Spock said:

MessyJessy said:
i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



explain to me this "comedy".





*spit take*

Well done.

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