Quentin Tarantino has plans to remake the 1977 mini-series Roots, casting himself in the role of Kunta Kinte/Toby Reynolds, originally played by LeVar Burton. Unfortunately I cannot link to the press release announcing this project, as it has not yet been written in your space-time continuum. You see, I am writing this from the future--the 37th Century, to be exact. My name is Luanda-P238 and I live in the city of Bananistan, on the fair Planet Bananamede. All of our energy needs are met through the use of an advanced bio-diesel derived from Bananameat, but that is beside the point--a post for another time, perhaps the 29th Century, as it were.

Today I am writing to share the news that Quentin Tarantino has lived before--many times, actually. He's lived since, too, but we'll get to that. Mr. Tarantino, whom you know as an American film director, actor, and Academy Award-winning screenwriter, has discovered and revealed what we citizens of Bananistan take for granted: past and future lives.

In addition to his previous three lives of American slavery, which will serve as the palette for interpreting Roots, Mr. Tarantino has lived as a Slovakian hostel owner, a female flight attendant who gets caught smuggling her boss' gun money on the airline she's employed by, an aging boxer who is paid to lose a fight, and a llama named Dolly.

Future lives will include an ex-Federale, a rapist, and a turtle named Harry.

Tarantino credits Uma Thurman and her father Buddha Bob with the realization of his past lives.

SuicideGirls asked their own resident Buddhist monk, Brad Warner, for his thoughts on the matter.

"Sounds dippy to me," Warner said.