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Michael Jackson Wants a 50 Foot Desert Robot

WEDNESDAY MARCH 28 2007 6:30 PM

Submitted by PointBlank. Edited By Rahodeb.

TAGS: Michael Jackson, Robot, Lasers, WTF

If you ask me, the headline for this post is all you need to read to capture the hardcore lunacy brilliance of the totally sane King of Pop's completely normal plan.

Michael Jackson has been reviewing plans for a 50-foot robotic replica of himself should he launch a show there.

"It would be in the desert sands," said Mike Luckman of Luckman Van Pier, consultants to large entertainment companies. "Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school."

Shh...you had me at "50 foot robot replica of Michael Jackson with lasers shooting out of it." In a related story, all the wars of the world stopped for a few minutes while everyone tried to stop giggling.

(PointBlank thinks he'd be happy with a 20-foot cyborg. Lasers optional)

51 Comments

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Monica

SUICIDEGIRL

Pennsylvania, USA

MAR 28, 2007 06:33 PM

Don't we all want our own 50-foot desert robot? I mean really...

scylis

Seattle, WA

November 2004

MAR 28, 2007 06:37 PM

this would have been so much better if set to the music from The Terminator.

(and i won't settle for anything less than 30' and 60 tons, with ER Lasers and Long Range Missile racks)

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

MAR 28, 2007 06:39 PM

"Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying would see. Neon is wonderful, but it's old school."

It failed to mention that the lazers would shoot out of his eyes and directly into the crotches of all the 12-13 year old boys in the audience.

dammit, i used to like lazer eyes, i think he just ruined it for me.

Bastardo

Boston, MA

January 2005

MAR 28, 2007 06:39 PM

PEW PEW!

paulnikon

Melbourne, FL

February 2003

MAR 28, 2007 06:40 PM

Monica said:
Don't we all want our own 50-foot desert robot? I mean really...

Yes. Yes we do.

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAR 28, 2007 06:42 PM

It's going to be in Vegas. Which makes this story far less exciting, because Vegas already has all manner of crazy shit.

trocc

Chicago, IL

March 2003

MAR 28, 2007 06:42 PM

PaulNikon said:

Monica said:
Don't we all want our own 50-foot desert robot? I mean really...

Yes. Yes we do.

you know, i'd even settle for a giant version of Ultraman that i could control.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Untimely

USA

January 2007

MAR 28, 2007 06:43 PM

(in Homer Simpson voice..)
ooooh, I thought this said 50-foot dessert robot.

I shall name it: Molestron!

OctEgon

Tustin, CA

July 2005

MAR 28, 2007 06:44 PM

Just when you thought it was safe for desert dwelling 30-Foot robotic children.....

Then again, this could be the start of something I've been waiting far too long for: