• news
  • MONDAY MARCH 5 2007 7:00 PM

Spears Attempts Suicide, For Real

Submitted by Quirky

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: britney, shaved head, spears, suicide



Britney Spears has tried to commit suicide in the Promises rehab center where she is currently seeking help. Her attempt was unsuccessful. According to an eye witness:

"Later that night she tried to kill herself. She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt," the pal added.


Britney "Batshit Crazy" Spears had, prior to her attempted strangulation, scribbled 666 atop her freshly shaved cranium, perhaps to foreshadow the event. Rather than taking the correct steps towards a modicum of sanity, the ailing pop-star has other plans in store:

"Britney has realised what a rock Kevin has been to her, and how out of control she has acted recently. She has been talking to Kevin every night for hours on the phone, telling him she still loves him. She just wants to be with him again, and thinks having another baby will seal their marriage," the source said.


Somehow, amidst the post-partum rumors, I think another baby will make matters worse.

  • PERMALINK
  • PRINT
  • Digg This
  • Email To A Friend
 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

15 | 16 | 17

Next

Comments
TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

MAR 09, 2007 04:31 PM

DrStinkypants said:
But sometimes a cigar is a penis.



That's it. I'm off to the penis smoking room.

*opens a pack of Cubans*

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

MAR 09, 2007 04:37 PM

TheFuckOffKid said:

DrStinkypants said:
But sometimes a cigar is a penis.



That's it. I'm off to the penis smoking room.

*opens a pack of Cubans*



slut

smurfpudding2819

smurfpudding2819

Oneonta, NY
September 2006

MAR 09, 2007 05:00 PM

Holy fuck has this topic become retarded. I feel like I need to quote somebody and call them a retard just to fit with the theme thus far. I think I might start a thread dedicated to sensless bickering via message boards.

Quick...someone quote this and call me an idiot or something similar.

geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

MAR 09, 2007 06:49 PM

Tech29 said:
Why is this and Anna Nicole Smith's death weeks worth of news... sorry if you care but I dont. Leave the girl alone. I should think she is going through enough. I could'nt care less about celebrities and who there fucking or what there injecting up there arm.



I can't resist, I just can't resist, forgive me....

THEY'RE - a contraction of "they are" - "who they're fucking..."
THERE - Like that other place over there...
THEIR - Like "their car" or "up their arm."

Make the most of your newfound knowledge.

xani

xani

Charlottesville, VA
May 2006

MAR 09, 2007 06:56 PM

emotedcreations said:
ENTER ME:

shadowboxer said:
Suicide is not a merciful death. You're not doing anyone a favor by killing yourself. Except for maybe Saddam, or Osama.


saddam hussein is dead. we murdered him.

imho, everyone needs to tone down the hate a little. she's just a human being. if you absolutely need to hate someone, hate omar al-bashir.



i know, jesus people ya'll scare me.

shame on you poptard. going around calling people batshitcrazy. takes one to know one. kiss

anthonyd said:

Hail Satan!



BWAHAHAHAHA

makebelieve

makebelieve

Clemmons, NC
February 2007

MAR 09, 2007 07:19 PM

smurfpudding said:
Holy fuck has this topic become retarded. I feel like I need to quote somebody and call them a retard just to fit with the theme thus far. I think I might start a thread dedicated to sensless bickering via message boards.

Quick...someone quote this and call me an idiot or something similar.



you are a simple person! does that count?

Disclaimer: I do not in any way think of you as a person with lower than average intelligence. I don't know you from Adam, or Eve for that matter. I am simply a people pleaser, and am only doing what you ask.

I can't believe this thread is still going. Britney's fine. BaronSamedi has been zotted. Cigars are penises. Can life get much better than this???

tech29

tech29

I'm lost
July 2004

MAR 10, 2007 12:30 AM

Margot_Dent said:

Tech29 said:
Why is this and Anna Nicole Smith's death weeks worth of news... sorry if you care but I dont. Leave the girl alone. I should think she is going through enough. I could'nt care less about celebrities and who there fucking or what there injecting up there arm.



yes, you have made that apparent by taking the time and effort to post in this thread



tech29

tech29

I'm lost
July 2004

MAR 10, 2007 12:32 AM

Oh I apperciate the Irony It was more of a commentary ...poorly written I know

alabasta

alabasta

Australia
February 2005

MAR 12, 2007 04:02 AM

Can someone, possibly a member of staff, explain to me why BaronSamedi got kicked off, please? Sure the guy wasn't the cheeriest soul on the planet, but what was it about his posts that were so much worse than anyone else's? This is not irony or sarcasm, I really do not understand...

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

MAR 12, 2007 04:52 AM

smurfpudding said:
Holy fuck has this topic become retarded. I feel like I need to quote somebody and call them a retard just to fit with the theme thus far. I think I might start a thread dedicated to sensless bickering via message boards.



Or you could just bicker with this guy.

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAR 12, 2007 05:07 AM

alabasta said:
Can someone, possibly a member of staff, explain to me why BaronSamedi got kicked off, please? Sure the guy wasn't the cheeriest soul on the planet, but what was it about his posts that were so much worse than anyone else's? This is not irony or sarcasm, I really do not understand...



Nobody's going to explain anything, but maybe you didn't see every single comment he ever made.

Just sayin'. wink

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAR 12, 2007 05:08 AM

And on that note, I think this thread has gone on about 10 pages too long.

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DAMN YOU TO HELL, EVIL THREAD!

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

15 | 16 | 17

Next

featured interviews