Martin Atkins' Tour:Smart / SXSW Survival Guide

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Preparation (lose the 'h')!
It's almost that time of year again and as I start to prepare myself and my crew for another event at SXSW, I thought it would be a good idea to spend my next two columns throwing out some tips, early warnings, general advice, and usual paragraphs of waffling bullshit you have come to expect from yours truly.

Train for SXSW!
People train for everything. They train for marathons (of course), they train for driving tests, they train for hotdog-eating competitions. Why on earth wouldn't you train for something as huge, dangerous awe inspiring, and potentially rewarding as this? How much money are you spending to go to Austin? Of course you're going to be weak in some areas. You might be a great guitarist, but lack people skills opening your shyness to misinterpretation as aloof standoffish-ness. You might be amazing with people but a crap drummer. Anything (except perhaps the economy) can be fixed. You have time to work on this NOW but first you need to understand that it is possible. Put together a personal plan and a band plan to diligently, incrementally work towards that goal. The first and most vital part of solving any problem area is an awareness of the problem. It is worth sitting down, thinking this through, observing your band mates, taking the time to share your horrifying observations with them, and they will surely, in turn, reciprocate. Don't let the opportunity of SXSW slip through your fingers like the guacamole/tequila/cheap beer/sweet corn'/don't-remember-eating-that vomit surely will on the first crazy night.

Don't bleach your hair the day before!
Although it's always a good idea to destroy hotel towels instead of your own you don't want to drastically change your look right before a big event. The new aerodynamics of your head or some long floaty extensions will distract you.

I cut off my dreads a few years ago before a HUGE meeting with some big wig financiers (and I can't even remember what it was for). I found myself intimidated. The main thing I had going for me was ME and I wasn't me at the meeting. In trying to fit in I had fucked myself.

The night before my first day on the job for the UK government (yes, 1976 or so!) I bleached my hair forgetting that I had put henna in it a couple of weeks beforehand. The result was, basically, fluorescent CARROT TOP -- so, beware. Do hair and body stuff a couple of weeks beforehand.

Bring a portable press kit
I tell anyone in a band or anyone managing a band to do something super-cool with your press kit. However, at SXSW, portability is the key. Put it all on a disc, a flash drive, or a fancy DVD business card thingy. MAKE SURE THAT YOUR NAME, THE BAND NAME, AN EMAIL ADDRESS, AND A CONTACT NUMBER IS ON EVERYTHING - EVERYTHING! Have these with you AT ALL TIMES.

Help someone
Go to SXSW prepared to HELP someone - a band, a random person, a promoter, anyone. At times of high stress and high stakes, people will appreciate it more. A sweaty, damp extended hand is nothing more than germ explosion - unless you are dangling off a cliff; then it's a life saver. It's all perspective and circumstance. And the longer you're in this business, the more you appreciate what goes around comes around, so make sure the karmic shit you put out there is good, and you'll be surprised at the unexpected ways in which you're rewarded.

Do something!
Don't sit in the hotel room watching Righteous Kill or reading Tour:Smart. Get out there and do it!*

Don't buy new equipment the day before you leave
Don't mistake an investment in brand new equipment for actually doing something that might help. At least you KNOW just where to hit your crappy tube amplifier to get it working again. A brand new one acquired a few hours before the first show might have other characteristics you aren't prepared for. Last minute improvements might not be improvements at all. If your equipment is falling apart and it's fucking up your vibe, your show, your hands, then NOW would be the time to get something so that you can break it in.

Talk to other bands
I'm going to hazard an insane guess that you are thinking you want to get signed at SXSW. OK...., well, that's just NOT going to happen. In looking for that one person that you think is going to make a difference don't overlook the fact that this is an opportunity for you to do some concrete, real things to move your career forward:


Shoes
The same philosophy about hair applies to brand new shoes!** You are going to be walking for several miles a day. If you aren't lying in bed at night crying and massaging your swelling ankles and knees then this is a sign that you are not taking FULL advantage of the event! So, the other very last thing you want to discover is that your brand new Doc Martens are really uncomfortable to walk in - BANG! There's a horrifyingly piss your pants blister on the heel of your right foot! You just don't need it. Go with the comfy, worn out shoes you are used to. If they are really bad and fucked up spray paint them black! Have one of those professional shoe people (they were once called cobblers) re-hab your shoes. They can work wonders and are sometimes at the airport. Make sure to tip 'em extra for the horrifying shit you are asking them to deal with.


Add your favorite SXSW tips in the comments section below. I'll send a Tour:Smart e-book to those who submit my favorite ones! And, remember, there's no such thing as obvious or a "no-brainer" when it comes to stuff like this. Don't wait until you're standing on stage in five-day old underwear with your luggage in Hawaii, your audience someplace else, and your brand new guitar shredding your fingers. Get busy now.

Come see me at SXSW - I have my own Tour:Smart event on Wednesday, March 18 at 4:30pm in Room 18.

Here's the wrap up from last year's SXSW:



Before we dive in, a quick shout out to GWAR who I saw at NAMM and also to Slipknot, who were stunning last Friday night.

And, finally, I'm back on the road:

Friday, February 6 - St. Paul MN
Closed lecture for McNally Smith students.

Sunday, February 8 - La Crosse, WI
FREE Tour:Smart seminar at The Warehouse, 328 Pearl St. @ 7:00 p.m.
MANDAORY FOR ALL LOCAL BANDS - SEATS LIMITED!
RSVP NOW!

Monday, February 9 - Madison, WI
FREE Tour:Smart DIY Seminar at the Madison Media Institute, 2702 Agriculture Dr. @ 1 p.m.
SEATS LIMITED! RSVP NOW!

Thursday, February 19 - Tampa, FL
FREE Tour:Smart DIY Summit and Dean Factory tour with Martin Atkins and special guests Josh Malony and Curse Mackey at Dean Guitar Headquarters, 4924 W.Waters Ave. @ 2 p.m.
Registration is extremely limited. REGISTER NOW!

Thursday, February 19 - Tampa, FL
Martin Atkins / Curse Mackey Pigface DJ set at Czar (vodka bar), 1420 East 7th Ave. @ 10:30 p.m.

Friday, February 20 - Tampa, FL
FREE Lecture on the Beijing Underground punk scene with Martin Atkins at University of South Florida, Marshall Student Center @ 3 p.m.
RESERVE your space NOW!

Friday, February 20 - Tampa, FL
Tour:Smart / Martin Atkins book signing and free mini-consultation at Vinyl Fever, 4110 Henderson Blvd. @ 7 p.m.

Saturday, February 21 - Gainesville, FL
Keynote Speaker at the University of Florida Entertainment Law Conference: 12-1 p.m. keynote / 3-4 p.m. Q&A.
Click HERE for more info.

Saturday, February 21 - Jacksonville, FL
FREE Tour:Smart DIY seminar at 331 Café, W. 331 Forsyth Street @ 7 p.m.
Limited Seating - RSVP NOW!

Sunday, February 22 - Orlando, FL
FREE Tour:Smart DIY seminar + FREE appetizers courtesy of Marks Street Music at the Dandelion Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave. @ 7 p.m.
RSVP to reserve your space NOW!

Upcoming events in McComb, IL, Normal, IL, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, London, Traverse City, MI, and more on the way!


*Of course, this is a hilarious joke. SXSW is a great time to sit in a hotel room and really get to grips with Tour:Smart. Available now via Amazon.com.

**Unless, of course, you are planning on buying some 6" heels. That's a GREAT idea - stick your legs in the air and send me pics -- NO! NOT you, Brian!


Martin Atkins has drummed with PiL, Killing Joke, Ministry, Nine Inch Nails, Pigface, and The Damage Manual, among others. As owner of the now 20-year old Invisible Records, he has worked with artists such as Thrill Kill Kult, Einsturzende Neubauten, Chemlab, Chris Connelly, Sheep On Drugs, Murder Inc, and Psychic TV. Martin teaches a course on Business of Touring at Columbia College in Chicago, IL, and has written a survival guide for touring bands, Tour Smart: And Break The Band, which features contributions from Henry Rollins, Cynthia Plastercaster, The Enigma, the Suicide Girls, Zim Zum (formerly of Marilyn Manson), Kevin Lyman, and various other managers, journalists, venues, agents, sponsors, radio personalities and the like.


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