Miss Truth Hurts: Advice That Rocks by Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to email: misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q: I've heard about this new site called In-Spot.org, which anonymously sends out eCards to ex-lovers who may have contracted an STD from you. I just found out I have Herpes and I have a handful of ex-girlfriends I need to tell but I'm dreading telling them. So, I was thinking of using this service. Should I?

-Crusty in Cranford, NJ

A: Fuck no! Sorry In-Spot.org, but anyone who would send an eCard to inform an ex fuck of a dreadful and possibly life-changing disease is the most insensitive cold douchebag in the world. It's akin to breaking up with someone on a Post-It note. Man up and call the girls you might have infected.


Q: In a previous answer, you revealed your "Fuck That Bitch" motto. But how exactly does one properly distance themselves from people with whom they have a long and involved history with? Keeping in mind that people are often psycho and unpredictable, how can someone avoid confrontation if they just don't "get the hint"?

-Friend or Foe? in Florida

A: The girl asking the question in my last column about her bad BFF had only been friends with her for a short time, so in that case, moving on quickly when someone repeatedly disses you is the way to go. But, for your question, it's a bit trickier. I do believe that if we've been close friends with someone for a year or more (especially more), then out of respect, you owe that person an explanation of why you're moving on. It's cowardly, immature, and cruel to just ditch a pal you've been close to for years without having a conversation with them about the problem. Don't do it over text or IM. A well-written letter over email is fine, but an in-person talk or phone call is the most mature thing to do.

I don't think it's fair to expect someone you've known for a while to just "get the hint." It's confusing to the person and makes you look, again, cowardly. It doesn't help you grow as a person to avoid confrontation. You'll have confrontation you're whole life -- negotiating a salary or promotion for a new job is a confrontation of sorts. So is asking your partner what you want in bed. Confrontation doesn't have to be bad and you can't avoid it in life. Try to sit the pal down and tell 'em what is bothering you and see what he or she says. If the answer isn't what you want to hear, then tell the friend that you need a little space from your relationship. It's not as bold as "fuck that bitch," but for a longer-term friend, it's really the best route to go. Good luck! Most people suck, so I feel your pain.


Q: I found out that my best friend went behind my back and told my other best friend that I'm, 'Not pretty. Only school pretty,' which basically means I'm only pretty for my old school, because the girls there aren't as hot. I don't know what to do.

-Pretty Pissed in Prince George, British Columbia

A: Neither of them are even friend material. Friends don't call friends "school pretty." And, friends don't relay an insult that you probably wouldn't have heard otherwise. It's a double whammy to me. I would never hurt my friend's feelings by telling her a nasty comment that another friend said about her -- unless she begged me to tell her to because, for example, she'd heard the said friend was talking smack about me. Keep in mind that girls say this kind of shit when they are feeling insecure about themselves or jealous of you. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but try to find nicer gal pals to pal around with.


Q: I can't seem to find the type of guy I want -- tattooed, pierced, and intelligent. I'm a smart girl and I can hold my own. I feel like I have trouble finding these types of guys because I don't have any body mods. I don't know what I'm missing. I'm actually a year away from graduating college. I have two jobs. I DJ. I figured I'd have a boyfriend by my junior year of college. But, I can't even meet a guy. What's wrong with me?

-Frustrated in Philly

A: Nothing is wrong with you. Sometimes you need to just grab the bull by the horns and lay it out there. Or in this case, grab the boy by the balls and lay one on him. Okay, maybe you shouldn't do that per se, but what I'm saying is to try a more upfront approach with boys. It worked for me.

You sound fab. You don't need body mods to get a boy with tats and piercings. I'm tat and metal free and my husband is sleeved. You already have more than a lot of girls your age -- a cool gig DJing, ambition (two jobs, yeah!), and an education. You're a total triple threat, so feel it, own it, and go after what you want. I don't care if that advice is trite, it's true and we sometimes forget what Buddha said: "We become what we think." Think you are fab (like you are) and that you deserve a hot boyfriend and you will get it! But, if actually finding those guys is really hard, check out the cuties on SG.com or try a dating site like RockandRollDating.com.


Q: I'm building a guitar and want to know what sort of pickups for rock/pop are best for mahogany bodies.

-Fretless in Florida

A: Lucky for you, I dated a great guitarist once named Blues Saraceno, with whom I’m still friends with, so I had him answer this one for me. He says, "The best pickups for your needs are: Humbuckers, lower output (8k to 10k) ones will be a little brighter and give the mahogany guitar (which is typically a darker smoother sounding wood) a little more bite/cut which helps balance out the sound. Typically, the hotter (12k to 14k) the pickup, the more bottom and mids are emphasized. The lower output pickups also help give you the option of cleaning up the sound nicely when you turn your volume pot down. Any pickup by Seymour Duncan is a safe bet. (i.e., PAF, Seth Lover, Pearly gates). If you are going to have a tremolo installed on the guitar then I highly recommend my own Blues Saraceno parallel axis trem bucker PA TB3."


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

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