The Frankenliberal

For years I have listened to right wing lunatics, like Rush Limbaugh, describe a liberal who does not exist. Right wing radio is full of non-stop blathering about what Liberals think and say, usually without documentation of any sort. Basically, the right wing has created a Frankenstein type monster, made of up liberal parts. It is the Frankenliberal and it serves one function: To keep the right wing hordes afraid and active, always working against their common enemy.

The Frankenliberal wants to abort all babies three days before they are born, and then toss them in dumpsters. He wants to lose the war because he hates the troops and loves the Iraqis. He wants to hug and talk to al Qaeda, instead of fight them. He hates America. He lives to slander America. He will do anything to make sure the Palestinians destroy Israel. He wants to teach sex education to children. He wants gays to be able to have sex anywhere, anytime and probably in front of children. He believes that most people are stupid and should be cared for at all times. He wants the government to do everything, except go to war. He thinks illegal immigrants should be able to do whatever they want. His taxes can’t be high enough. He has no morality. He is a socialist. He hates all religion, but especially Christianity. He wants to take away everyone’s guns. He wants to discriminate against whites to help minorities. He hates all rich people and wealth.

On and on the list goes. If you are a liberal, think of the most insane position you can, and Limbaugh has probably told his audience that's what you believe. That's all they do on AM radio.

O'Reilly

You have a very big split in the Jewish-American community. You got a lot of Jewish liberals, a lot of Jewish far-left people, who basically feel that, you know, you don't have a right to go after terrorists because it's our fault, the United States' fault. And some say it's Israel's fault because we've been mean to them, therefore they have a right to do whatever they want -- behead people on camera, all this terrible stuff. OK? That's a far-left position.

Hawkins.

Liberals are internationalists who are more concerned about what Europeans think of us and staying in the good graces of the corrupt bureaucrats who control the UN than looking out for the best interests of this nation.

Limbaugh.

This Haditha story, this Haditha incident, whatever, this is it folks, this is the final big push on behalf of the Democratic Party, the American left, and the Drive-By Media to destroy our effort to win the war in Iraq. That’s what Haditha represents — and they are going about it gleefully. They are ecstatic about it… Folks, let me just put it in graphic terms. It is going to be a gang rape. There is going to be a gang rape by the Democratic Party, the American left and the Drive-By Media, to finally take us out in the war against Iraq. Make no bones about it.

Savage.

Now, we already know what's been done to the United -- the American police in America, how their hands have been tied behind their back. How the criminal has more rights than the policeman. It's been written about to such an extent that I don't want to repeat it. Cops are getting knocked off all over the country because of the rules of engagement, written primarily by the scummiest class in America, the vermin of vermin, which are the left-wing lawyers who should be put in Abu Ghraib with hoods over their head, as far as I'm concerned.

On and on they go. Blah blah blah, day after day. Never mind that this person they so fear does not exist. They’ve taken some random person’s opinion here and some random person’s opinion there and placed them altogether in the Frankenliberal; a giant, scary monster to terrify their right wing audiences. And it’s very effective.

But there is no liberal politician that holds those beliefs. You won’t find one. The collection of accusations is so insane or fantastical it is amazing anyone actually believes it. Of course, that appears to not be true for the right wing. They appear to have found a person who embodies the most frightening ideas the left can conjure up: Sarah Palin.

Over and over again, I have heard right-wingers say they love Palin because she makes liberals crazy. Wow, great reason to support a candidate. You must be proud. Of course, they have their own beliefs explaining why we hate Palin.

They don't like Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down's Syndrome child.

They wanted a powerful woman on the ticket and they got one, only not the kind that they had hoped for and on the "wrong" ticket, at that!

Dreaming of a bra-burning "womyn", they instead got an intelligent, beautiful woman, dedicated to Motherhood; a woman who has been a mover and shaker in the politics of her home state; a woman who doesn't wear her hair in dreads and who dresses stylishly, in a manner suiting her position in life and politics.

They got a woman who has a value system and is not afraid to talk about it, instead of a womyn who peers out from behind John Lennon glasses and in Moonie-eyed fashion says, "I'm OK, you're OK!”

They got a woman who supports her family through the proverbial thick and thin.

They got a woman whose smile is genuine and not the arrogant smirk of Hillary.

The Pseudo-liberal/Neo-socialists got a woman...a woman who scares them to death and they just can't handle it.

The right wing blogs are littered with that kind of simplistic and juvenile thinking. But I won’t disagree with them on this point: I am scared shitless of Palin ever becoming president, because she is the Frankenright-winger. She is the exact opposite of everything I believe – to an extreme.

I mean, come on, the fucking polar bear. She is literally the right wing lunatic we fear in our worst dreams. A religious lunatic who appears to make decisions based on what she thinks God wants and seems to have an aversion to any book that is not The Bible. After years of running around making shit up about what liberals believe and what they don’t’, the right wing has chosen a woman who is cartoonishly conservative. And it is quickly becoming a major anchor in their campaign.

Imagine if the Democrats had chosen an equally extreme candidate? The right wing would be losing their minds. That Frankenliberal they so love to talk about has never, and will never, be chosen as a Democratic candidate, mostly because he’s not real. But also because the Democratic Party wouldn’t stand for a lunatic as their VP. Unfortunately, the right wing nuts seem to be using liberal’s fear of Palin to continue to Frankenliberal myth. On and on it goes….

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/all/23354/The-Frankenliberal/