Asshole Fuckface Roundup #63

Hello, fellow Asshole Fuckface hater. This week we have a smörgåsbord of Asshole Fuckfaces. For centuries my people have been scouring the Earth, looking for the filthiest humans out there. In the old days, upon finding such creatures, my ancestors would brand AFF on their forehead. Sometimes I still do, if I can just hold them down. For you, I drag them into the light, so that you may mock them for the disgusting creatures they are. This week is nauseating, as usual. So, put on your favorite velvet curtain, because this is going to be ugly.

First up, some Israeli Asshole Fuckfacery.

American dancer Abdur-Rahim Jackson has been dancing with the Alvin Ailey dance troupe for eight years. The troupe is on a six-nation tour to celebrate the company’s 50th anniversary. First stop: Israel.

Jackson said he was pulled aside from other members of the troupe when they arrived at Israel's international airport on Sunday night. He said he was taken to a holding room, where he was asked about the origins of his name.

Yes, please explain this “Jackson” nonsense. And, why are you black? At one point Jackson was actually told that he should change his name. Oh, but they weren’t done yet.

When he explained he was part of the dance group, he was asked to perform.

"I stood up. I asked what type of dance?" he explained. "He said, "Just do anything.' I just moved around."

Dance, black man, dance. That’s some crack security. Oh, but they weren’t done yet.

Minutes later, he said a female officer put him through a similar interrogation and asked him to dance again.

Holy fucking shit. What a bunch of Asshole Fuckfaces. Jackson is not religious and is engaged to a Jewish woman. He has accepted numerous apologies from “American dignitaries and his Israeli hosts.” No action was taken against the security officers.

Next up, more Republican racist Asshole Fuckfacing.

Apparently we can’t go a week without some southern Republican politician using racist language. This week it was Congressional candidate Rick Goddard calling an MSNBC reporter “Uppity.” Guess what the reporter’s ethnic background is?

I’ll tell you one thing, I think we’re going to have a very, very strong, capable president in John McCain. Last night, Newt Gingrich disarmed a very uppity newscaster who tried to question him on the capabilities and leadership of Governor Palin. There’s simply no comparison between a governor and a community organizer.

Check out the “Uppity” reporter.



God damn job doer. It's like you think you can just ask white men questions, without being lynched.

The Goddard campaign responded to charges of racism.

“A member of the media dropped all pretense of objectivity during an interview with Newt Gingrich to arrogantly launch an attack on Gov. Sarah Palin’s experience, to which Rick came to her defense and simply evoked a word — that by definition — described the reporter’s demeanor as being superior, arrogant and presumptuous.

“To try and smear Rick’s character by suggesting that he meant anything other than the definition is ludicrous.”

Cool, I’ll be ludicrous and you be racist. Totally works for me. You Asshole Fuckface.

Next up, some horrible Asshole Fuckface parenting.

Dannette R. Gillespie of Pasadena, Texas is a shit stain of a mother. Last week, bar owner Eugene Palma was stabbed “several times” in his driveway during a botched robbery. He later died of his wounds. Police used a palm print to identify the stabbers. They were a gang, made up of two teenage girls and a mother.

Two teenage girls are accused of stabbing a 75-year-old man to death in a robbery that netted them just $15, and police say the mother of one of the teens helped put them up to it.

Dannette R. Gillespie, 38, gave knives to her 15-year-old daughter and Vanessa Anne Ocampo, 19, then waited in their car while the teens robbed and killed Eugene Palma, according to a probable cause warrant.

Hey Asshole Fuckface, I probably would have done that somewhere other than Texas. Welcome to the world of dead, Dannette. And one hell of a parenting job. We always need more monsters.

Finally, some hospital Asshole Fuckfacery.

Claudia Mejia went into Orlando Regional South Seminole Hospital to give birth, but things did not go as planned. She did give birth to baby, but she also woke up without any arms or legs. She had arms and legs when she walked into the hospital. She knows that because she walked into the hospital.

She was kept in the hospital for 12 days after giving birth with “complications,” then transferred to Orlando Regional Medical Center, where her arms and legs were cut off. She was later told she was infected with a flesh eating bacteria and toxic shock syndrome. That was all the info she was given.

"I woke up from surgery and I had no arms and no legs. No one told me anything. My arms and legs were just gone."

After asking for a more detailed explanation for her lack of limbs, the Asshole Fuckfaces at the hospital told her to go fuck herself.

The hospital, in a letter, wrote that if she wanted to find out exactly what happened, she would have to sue them.

The hospital maintains the woman wants to know information that would violate other patients' rights.

Um, does Dick Cheney run this hospital?

Claudia’s lawyer says that the Florida "The Patients Right To Know About Adverse Medical Incidents Act" states the hospital must turn over all information. But the hospital says that because of the act, they can’t turn over the information.

Classic Asshole Fuckfacery.

Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces! You will each recieve a brand new FearTheReaper cat bed!

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/all/23311/Asshole-Fuckface-Roundup-63/