Thou Shalt Not Stalk: Conan O'Brien and the Creepy Priest

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From the New York Post:
The Rev. David Ajemian, 46 -was arrested last Friday while he was in line at 30 Rockefeller Plaza to see a taping of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien."

He was wearing his collar when arrested.

Apparently, he had a message to tell O'Brien that he believed only the TV star would understand, police sources said.
Go easy on the guy. Maybe his message was, "Jesus loves you Conan." Now, we'll never know.

Luckily there are records on The Huffington Post of other messages that Rev. Ajemian (aka Padre009) left for Conan O'Brien on NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" message boards:
"I'm just a two-bit HACK and I don't even know it!!! My stories and nuttiness are PATHETIC--- why?? Well of course because they DON'T MEAN ANYTHING!!! Compared to THE WRITERS who are---- GOLDEN---- AND---- BEAUTIFUL---- AND---- BELOVED ... Yes the WRITERS---THE WRITERS--- UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!! Everything that you witty and crazy and sweet young things could EVER want to know about the world."
Is that from the New Testament or Old Testament? I can never tell the difference.

The Rev claims that he attended Harvard with O'Brien in the 1980s. He began stalking Conan in September of 2006 after their first meeting in Lawrence, Massachusetts at the christening of a church homeless shelter.

Ajemian used to live the same apartment building as Conan and even followed him to Italy.
He then sent a postcard from Italy to the Massachusetts-born comedian - bearing a postmark from the same town O'Brien had just visited, law-enforcement sources said.

That ominous incident - as well as another when the priest showed up in California - sent the investigation into overdrive.
Even though Ajemian used a handle on the NBC message boards he did more balls out stalking by writing to Conan on parish letterhead even calling himself a "priest-stalker":
In one such letter, he wrote, "I should have known that the ties I have to Conan through his parents and hometown church, his alma mater and even his very home mean nothing in a world like ours."
Yeah! In 1 A.D. if you went to college with a television host, he would totally be your best friend. This modern world of not communicating with a harassing and possibly dangerous priest is such bullshit. We're so disconnected as a society. Damn you, iconography!
In another lengthy message from April, written under the letterhead of St. Patrick Parish in Stoneham, Mass., Ajemian told O'Brien, "I'm not [Virginia Tech killer] Seung-Cho, even if I did once look out on that dark and dreaded doorway on West 72nd Street."
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There's nothing funny about that one. It just invokes a bone-chilling "I want my mommy" fear deep inside of me.

But before Conan goes and gets a big(ger) head about this whole having his own stalker thing, let it be known that Rev. Ajemian also has a fixation with tennis God John McEnroe.
"John McEnroe assaulted me once in the seventh grade when I wouldn't give up my seat to him," he wrote O'Brien on Feb. 20, according to the criminal complaint.

He then wrote in an another letter that he "once went after my childhood nemesis John McEnroe, too, and am still waiting for his confession as well."
With his career in stalking and celebrity obsession it's a wonder that Rev. Ajemian was even an effective priest before leaving St. Patrick's church in Brookline, Massachusetts in 2007. But it turns out he's a multi-tasker. He can do it all! He can stalk and inspire his parishioners with his creepy sermons about his favorite movie, Casablanca.
A former parishioner from St. Patrick said the congregation is reeling from the arrest of the priest. Still, he said, most of the parish was fond of Ajemian.

"There are many people who are disturbed and in tears," he said.

He said that they often talked about old movies - Ajemian's passion - and that the cleric loved "Casablanca" in particular.
"He'd quote lines. He could tell you what the guy was wearing in a scene," the man recalled.
And no one thought that was a little weird? Just tell everyone the parable about Jesus feeding all of those people with one loaf of bread and let them go home. Stop saying, "Here's looking at you kid." That's creepy.

But before you start fearing for Conan's life, not to worry, it seems like this was all just one big misunderstanding. The Huffington Post provided an update:
The Boston priest busted for stalking Conan O'Brien said yesterday that he hoped that by cozying up to the comic, he'd impress Archdiocese higher-ups and advance his career in the Church.

"I guess I felt I was getting an inspiration to get him to acknowledge me in a way that would promote me as a priest," the Rev. David Ajemian told The Post after he was released on bail.
Phew. I think everyone, including Conan can sleep a little better tonight knowing that Ajemian wasn’t stalking, he was networking! And the way this "world like ours" works maybe his charges of stalking in the fourth degree, and two counts of aggravated harassment in the second degree will get him his own reality show.

SleepyLady has just learned that the Reverend checked himself into a hospital tonight. Let's be happy that maybe he'll start to get some help and stay off message boards.

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