Tuesday Tasting: Beds, Banks, And Belts

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Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Money Is A Terrible Waste Of A Mouth

Appropriately named, the Facebank is a gadget that quite simply nibbles on your nickels. It almost seems wrong to have a mouth-moving gizmo that does nothing but munch on spare money. With four AAA batteries and $29.99, the Facebank can be yours to "fiddle" around with. We can only wait until a horny hacker gets their hands on this.

No Sex Under These Sheets

Geekologie points to a Pimp My Bed system, complete with below-bed blue LEDs. Not sure what blue LED beds could accomplish aside from matching your pair of blue balls at the end of an unsuccessful night.

I invented this freshman year of college. Except I used blacklights. Cool huh? That's what I thought. It turns out blacklight makes all your man-stains in the room glow. It looked like some seriously f'ed up paintball match went down in there. Needless to say I'm still a virgin.

Un-sexy Software Creates Cyber Chastity Belts

Chastity truly has no place on the interweb. Somehow between the LOLcats and camgirls, the TimeLock chastity belt stood the test of time (or so it seems).

A software program now available whereby one can have an unlocking code sent to you (or a trusted friend) only after a specified period of time. An entire system of time-based options—lockwords, randomized detention periods, encryption schema—is included in the $20 application, which doubtless serves to increase the pleasure of those thusly punished or rewarded. – Gadget Lab

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