Beat It Romney, You Crazy Mormon!

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Mitt Romney just needs to walk away. His run for the White House is becoming a joke. People in his own party are beginning to make brutal ads about his past and they certainly don't want a Mormon in the White House.

Maybe Mitt hasn’t noticed, but the Republican Party has been taken over by Christian lunatics over the past 15 years. Guess whom Christian lunatics don’t like? Mormons! Might have something to do with the church’s polygamy history. Also, there is some controversy about the year 1827, when Joseph Smith dug up some golden plates in New York that had been protected by the angel Moroni and engraved by Mormon, a pre-Columbian prophet-warrior. Because the plates were written in “Reformed Egyptian,” Smith translated them by looking through “seer stones.” Turns out God wanted him to “restore” Christianity. You can see how the influential Christians, like James Dobson, might take a pass on Mitt.

A big pass. A recent Newsweek poll revealed that 28 percent of Americans would not vote for a Mormon. I wonder how many of them are Republicans? The poll found that a Mormon president came in below a Jewish president and a black president. That is pretty low on the Republican ladder.

Yesterday, the Log Cabin Republicans came out with an ad attacking Mitt for his “Massachusetts values.” Taking out Mitt is an amusing tactic for a gay Republican, considering his history of supporting gay rights, but we are talking about Republicans. Gay or not, they are fucking weird.



Shit, now I want to vote for him! But this ad will only be airing in Iowa and on Fox News, where conservatives will see it and probably turn against evil Mitt. The Log Cabin Republicans claim they only want people to know the truth about Mitt because no one really knows what he believes.

Whether it’s taxes, immigration, education, gay rights, gun ownership, stem cell research, abortion, campaign finance reform, or other key issues, Mitt Romney has a long list of flip-flops. The American people don’t trust Massachusetts’s flip-floppers, whether they’re Democrats or Republicans.

As much as Governor Romney wants to re-invent himself, his record speaks for itself. The Mitt Romney of today is different from the Mitt Romney who was elected Massachusetts Governor and ran for the U.S. Senate. Romney may have forgotten what he used to believe, but Republicans won’t forget.

I wonder why they didn’t mention his history of supporting gay rights? That’s a weird thing to leave out.

Lastly, Mitt is not doing to well with the fundraising. Yesterday, the Mittman reported his campaign had brought in $18 million smackeroos. That is more than three times as much as the pathetic cult leader Ron Paul! Or is it?

Turns out of the $18 million Romney raised, $8.5 million came from a guy named Mitt Romeny. But that didn’t stop a campaign spokeswoman from talking about how great it was that he wrote himself a check, I mean, that tons of people support him.

Our campaign made considerable progress this quarter expanding Gov. Romney's support across the country ... Gov. Romney has built a nationwide network of volunteers and supporters that are energizing our efforts as we work towards the first votes being cast in January.

Just go away, you have no chance. And it’s getting a bit sad. Like, John McCain sad.

Democrats, however, should pray that he wins the nomination.

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