No, Stupid, That Guy Can't Talk to Ghosts

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While searching desperately for something to write about I found the following snippet regarding Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Hewitt claims she regularly is approached by people who confuse her with Melinda Gordon, the character she plays on Ghost Whisperer.

"All the time. I'm constantly having people ask me to cross over people, or stopping me and saying, 'Would you just tell my grandmother blah, blah, blah,' " said Hewitt, who will be front and centre this evening as the third season of Ghost Whisperer gets under way

Not the most exciting bit of information. But, it stuck with me for awhile... before exploding, like a Russian nesting doll, into a series of hard to swallow realizations. Though, unlike the dolls, the realizations got larger and more ridiculous as opposed to smaller and more dainty.

- People - actual living, breathing people - confuse Hewitt with her TV character?

-They think she can talk to ghosts? Like, for fucking real?

- They believe anyone can talk to ghosts?

-They believe in ghosts?

- They honestly think, having been freed from both the Earthly realm and their constant, overwhelming stupidity, that any of their dead relatives would want to talk to them?

- People watch Ghost Whisperer?

- Ghost Whisperer is still on the air? In America?

- I bet that somewhere, there exists a Ghost Whisperer t-shirt or embroidered polo shirt, and I bet someone owns it.

- Occasionally that person will put this shirt on, choose not to start their car in a closed, locked garage but, rather, to drive it out and into the world, which as we all know, is filled with people.

"Well, so what, people are dumb," I can almost hear you saying. "This is an isolated situation, not indicative of the majority of people," I again hear you screeching. I agreed with you for a second and then recalled that psychic scam-artist extraordinaire, John Edward was recently on Oprah, where he wasn't outed as a fraud, kicked in the neck and rolled into traffic. Nope, he was celebrated. Oprah, this titan of our times, this kingmaker, this person dictating the behavior and purchases of thousands of middle-aged dolts the world over, endorsed a snake-oil salesman.

James Frey pads a couple of days onto to his so-called prison stay and is publicly crucifed by her Oprah-ness, meanwhile, John Edward claims to talk to ghosts, witches and robots from the future, and she doesn't bat an eye.

I'm sure all of this will lead, some time down the road, to us having to watch a shocked Oprah on national television say to John, "I can't believe you were lying to me, when you pretended to talk to those dead people."

Neither can I, Oprah Neither can I.




TheCoolerKing enjoys getting drunk with his pals and running around with ghosts of the minimum wage variety, at the supremely awesome Knott's Scary Farm.

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