Republicans Complete The Douchebag Trifecta

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Yesterday was a great day for horrible people. Congratulations to the Republicans in Congress for stopping three major bills with filibusters. The bills would have helped soldiers, restored habeas corpus and given Washington DC representation. How terrible would that have been?

Lets start with how the Republicans just shoved their fists up our soldier’s anuses. Senator Jim Webb sponsored legislation that would have given our troops a break from the grueling tours that are taking a heavy toll.

Webb's legislation would have required that troops spend as much time at home training with their units as they spend deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Members of the National Guard or Reserve would be guaranteed three years at home before being sent back.

Currently, soldiers are spending 15 months in combat with 12 months home. Wouldn’t want to ruin that fun for them. The Republicans are foolishly doing the bidding of the White House and rejecting sanity and reason. Quite simply, they are George’s bitches.

Hagel, R-Neb., said the White House also "has been very effective at making this a loyalty test for the Republican Party."

Stay loyal boys, it worked so well in the last election for you. At least Republicans can take solace in the fact that when our soldiers come home we will deny them their mental health benefits.

Next up on the Republican hate train, the filibuster of a bill to restore habeas corpus for "enemy combatants."

In 2006, Congress passed and Bush signed into law the Military Commissions Act, which established a military-run tribunal system for prosecuting enemy combatants. The provision barring habeas corpus petitions means that only detainees selected for trial are able to confront charges against them, leaving most military detainees in custody without a chance to plead their case.

Can’t see how anything could go wrong with that system. Our president has shown himself to be an honorable man who would never cause anyone harm based on his own distorted beliefs. Currently, he only has to designate someone as an “enemy combatant” and then toss him in prison. Game over. It’s kind of like a medieval dungeon. I say that because habeas corpus was born in 1215. It only took 800 years for a president to come along and tell us that we’ve been wrong that whole time.

There used to be a worldwide belief that America was a nation of laws and people could not be “disappeared” by the government. People never imagined that America was a place where someone could be locked up without trial indefinitely. Those days are over. Nice to see Republicans have taken a page from Saddam Hussein and that they aren’t backing down. Yay!

And in their final stroke of being complete and utter douchebags, Republicans filibustered a bill that would have allowed a city of mostly black people, called Washington DC, to have a vote vote in Congress. So they get to enjoy taxation without representation! How fucking great is that? Did I mention the population is mostly black people?

Republicans actually claimed the bill was unconstitutional.

Minority Leader Mitch McConnell hailed the Senate’s action, declaring the bill was “clearly and unambiguously unconstitutional.” He added, “If the residents of the District are to get a member for themselves, there remains a remedy: amend the Constitution.”

Yes! Apparently Republicans did not realize that stance made them astounding hypocritical douchebags, because they had just taken a steaming dump on the Constitution when they filibustered the habeas corpus bill. Oh, and the DC unconstitutional question was taken into account when the bill was written.

The Constitution also gives Congress power over the District of Columbia, the nation’s capital. And the bill-contained provisions expediting a Supreme Court review of its constitutionality.

“We’re prepared to accept whatever the Supreme Court says”

Woudn't want the experts in the Supreme Court to make that ruling.

But it’s not about the Constitution or the rule of law is it? It’s about the party and making sure their team wins. Whether that means they’re fucking over our soldiers or fucking over black people, it’s Republican first, American second. Right now the GOP cunts are on pace to triple the previous record of using the filibuster in the modern era. Meanwhile, they squeal about “nothing getting done.”

I don’t know what else to say, except “Suck it, you fucking demons.”

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