C'mon, Just Admit You Love Dog Fighting, Already

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I don't care for football, and am even less of a dog-fighting aficionado, so I didn’t pay a ton of attention to the Michael Vick situation. I knew the charges, and that a lot of people stuck by him, convinced he’d be vindicated… And then today I saw the following.

Michael Vick apologized today for his involvement in dog fighting and vowed to redeem himself.
Already? Redeem him for what? I’m not advocating the abuse of dogs but what aspect of dog fighting has changed in the months since you were arrested? Didn’t you love it a few months ago? Obviously, what’s changed is he got caught and has been advised by a publicist/lawyer to go this route. Whatever happened to standing by your beliefs? Having some conviction?

Maybe that sounds crazy but I would honestly prefer it to yet another asinine round of 1) celeb fucks up 2) celeb repents, instantly realizing the error of their ways 3) celeb returns bigger than ever.

Just admit you love the shit out of dog fighting. Or tell us why we’re wrong. Or, I don’t know… something that isn’t clearly a huge manufactured lie? We KNOW he was for it very recently. Why let him lie about it and act as if he’s being sincere here.

Shortly after entering a guilty plea on a federal dog fighting conspiracy charge -- one that leads to a Dec. 10 sentencing date and probable prison term -- the suspended Atlanta Falcons star made his first public comments on the situation. He stood at a lectern in a hotel in Richmond, Va., and spoke for a few minutes without notes but did not take questions.

Sounding neither rehearsed nor overly emotional, Vick apologized to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, the Falcons and "to all the young kids out there for my immature acts."

He called dogfighting "a terrible thing," and said, "I reject it."

He said, "Through this situation I've found Jesus," and later added, "I will redeem myself. I have to."
Of course... Of course you have. The other huge celeb re-hab component, Jesus.

Finding Jesus after a situation like this is basically saying, “I did something so heinous that NO OTHER PERSON ON EARTH stood by me, I fucked up everything with everyone, so badly, that I had no choice but to go to that guy who HAS to accept me, according to that book he uses. The Beeble. What? Oh, shit, it’s pronounced "Bible"?

Jesus really needs to bust out the fake glasses and floppy hat so he can start ducking these guys. Too many people "find him."

The Falcons said they do not plan to immediately cut Vick and are sorting through their options.

"We simply cannot terminate Michael's rights," Falcons owner Arthur Blank said at a news conference. "It would be a short-term fix at the expense of our long-term success."
Wow. Is he actually talking about football? “Well, we could but… I do love making money…”

Blank, who called Vick's statement "heartfelt," said the player had "let down his fans and his team … and betrayed the trust of many people."
It’s cool everyone, that guy who was just worried about the Falcons record, whose fate is directly linked to that of Vick’s, totally thinks it was on the up and up.

Rich McKay, president of the Falcons, said the team would "aggressively" attempt to recoup any bonus money paid to Vick, who in 2004 received a 10-year, $130-million contract extension. According to various reports, the team will try to recover as much as $29 million.
You're not gonna cut him. But you are gonna try to get your money back. Got it.

Blank indicated that if Vick reacted in the correct way, he might be able to resume his NFL career at some point.
Like, by, not killing more dogs? Or does he have to go the other way and help them by rescuing them and teaching them to read or something?

Vick, who signed a plea in which he agreed to provide the government with any information that could be useful in the prosecution of others, repeatedly emphasized that he took full responsibility for his actions.
A dog fighting narc. Look for the reality show this fall in which a suspiciously skittish Vick shows up at dog fights in full NFL uniform and urges perps to “state their name and speak up” into his mic’d lapel flower.

"I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to better Michael Vick the person, not the football player," he said.
He then, winked, tossed a ball to a fan and high-fived a beaming Jesus who rushed onstage and presented him with a “GOD’S PAL” adorned jersey.





Full disclosure regarding animal abuse. TheCoolerKing enjoys that scene in Conan The Destroyer where Arnie punches out the camel.

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/all/22181/Cmon-Just-Admit-You-Love-Dog-Fighting-Already/