Asshole Fuckface Roundup

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Hey, kids! It's Saturday and you know what that means: It's time for another Asshole Fuckface Roundup! There are an enormous amount of assholes in the world but only a few make the cut and land up on the FearTheReaper's Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Here are this week's winners:

It is always great to start the Roundup with a federal agency George Bush has destroyed. This week: FEMA.

On Friday, Congress heard testimony about health problems that Hurricane Katrina victims has suffered because they were living in FEMA trailers. FEMA officials knew about health problems resulting from formaldehyde in the trailers, but did not conduct testing.

Waxman: After you received these results, your attorneys put out a statement -- e-mails that imply that FEMA's going to own this issue if you do testing. That shows a complete indifference to the welfare of the families living in these FEMA trailers, because no testing was done, and your lawyers said if you do testing, you may start owning the problem. What do you make of that?

Paulison: The attorneys are hired for a particular reason, and they are there to protect in litigation. However, the department did not stop dealing with the formaldehyde issue regardless of what the attorneys said.

Waxman: Did you test any other occupied trailers?

Paulison: We did not test occupied trailers.

Formaldehyde can cause respiratory and other problems from long-term exposure. FEMA director David Paulison told Congress that the agency would start performing tests on trailers that were still occupied by 60,000 Katrina survivors. He, did, however leave something out.

But he made no mention of testing trailers that had been reclaimed from hurricane victims who moved into more permanent housing.

Why not? Because the government is selling them! The General Services Administration has auctioned off nearly 40,000 trailers since 2006. Who gives a shit if they are poison chambers? The government needs some cash! FEMA said it has no plans to test any trailers that have been or are being sold.

"I understand the need to not lose money, but if the trailers are going to make people sick, maybe we should consider cutting our losses," said Rep. Christopher S. Murphy.

Yeah, MAYBE!

My next Asshole Fuckface is airline Jet Blue. Jet Blue has been awarded the title this week because they are huge pussies.

Jet Blue made the mistake of trying to promote their with both the left and the right. For years Jet Blue has advertised on Fox News, showed Fox News on its flights and the companies CEO has donated $2300 to Mitt Romney. But then they made a huge mistake. Jet Blue became a sponsor for the Daily Kos yearly convention called Yearly Kos. The airline offered free tickets for featured speakers. This simple business decision caused Bill O’Reilly to lose his mind.

O’Reilly attacked Jet Blue and sent his minions on a campaign to stop the airlines sponsorship of the event. O’Reilly used all of his “No Spin Zone” talents to distort the truth about the Democratic website. He called Daily Kos a “hate filled website,” then went on to list comments from the message boards to back up his claim, comparing the lefty website to the KKK and Nazis. Could you imagine what someone would say about Suicide Girls if they cherry-picked comments from the boards?



Congrats, Bill, you just made the Asshole Fuckface list! But that is to be expected. The real problem here is that Jet Blue caved in to Bill’s blatant lies. Yesterday, Jet Blue pulled their logo from the Yearly Kos website. Jet Blue has come to a decision: They would rather do the bidding of the right wing than be a bi-partisan, equal opportunity company. Message received, Jet Blue. You don’t want my business because I’m not conservative enough. I will no longer fly Jet Blue because they are a company of Asshole Fuckfaces.

Our next Asshole Fuckface is a group of 9 people who made up a military jury.

On April 26, 2006, a nighttime patrol in Iraq decided to kidnap and kill an insurgent. But when they got to his house, he was nowhere to be found. So, what to do? How about grab a retired policeman who had the misfortune of living nearby and kill him? He was only a father of 11, so no big deal.

Three days ago, Cpl. Trent Thomas was convicted of kidnapping and conspiring to murder. Then the 9-member jury went into deliberations on his sentence. He could have received a maximum sentence of life. Prosecutors recommended 15 years. It took the jury a full hour to come up with a harsh punishment. Thomas was reduced in rank from corporal to private and given a bad-conduct discharge. Take that, you murdering motherfucker! That should really show the Iraqis that we are on their side.

Our final Asshole Fuckface is none other than Tom Delay. He is possibly America’s greatest Asshole Fuckface of all time and this week he showed why.

Tommy was speaking at the College Republicans annual convention and he managed to delightfully to combine the topics of immigration and abortion. You can enjoy the young college Republicans explain why they don’t join up to fight in the Iraq war they support, or you can forward to 3:45 to see why Delay is an Asshole Fuckface.



What a great solution to immigration. It sort of reminds me of Hitler.

If you don't believe abortion doesn't affect you, I contend it affects you in immigration. If we had those 40 million children who were killed over the last 30 years, we wouldn't need the illegal immigrants to fill the jobs that they are doing today. Think about it.

I thought about it, Tommy, and I decided you are an Asshole Fuckface.

All of this week’s Asshole Fuckfaces will receive a pair of FearTheReaper mittens. Congrats!

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