Finally! Actual, Real, Live Super-Heroes

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I have been waiting for this day my entire life. My entire boring, non-wall-crawling, super-hero-less life.

Making human-animal embryos for scientific experiments should be allowed because of the benefits to science and medicine, British experts said in a report released for Sunday.

Such embryos should never, however, be implanted into either a woman or an animal, said the Academy of Medical Sciences.
Well, of course we’ll do our best, but… Let’s be honest, accidents happen. You lose your wallet, you oversleep, you forget to not implant hybrid human/animal embryos into a woman soon to be known as Komodo-man’s mom.

The combinations would include animal eggs and the nucleus, containing the genetic material, of a human being, or human embryos that carry the genetic material of an animal, the independent advisory body said.

A cloning technique called somatic cell nuclear transfer, or SCNT for short, involves removing the nucleus from an egg cell and replacing it with the nucleus of a cell from the animal to be cloned -- perhaps a skin cell, for instance.
Whoa! Slow down. We don’t want this recipe on the Internets. God forbid the terrorists get their hands on it. The last thing we need is some half-chameleon, half-man creature making himself look all-man and then sneaking in and stealing our secrets. No way.

Scientists have tried this using, for example, an egg cell from a cow and a human nucleus.
Well, I guess they could have that guy. He seems harmelss.

There are no laws against it in either Britain or the United states and the independent Academy said it should remain legal.

"Re-implanting human embryos into a woman or animal is not permitted. There are no substantive ethical or moral reasons not to proceed with research on human embryos containing animal material under the same framework of regulatory control," he said.

Researchers want to make clones for a variety of reasons, but one of the most contentious is as a source of embryonic stem cells.
These powerful stem cells can give rise to any cell or tissue type in the human body and the hope is some day they may be used to tailor medical treatments for injuries or diseases such as Parkinson's or diabetes.
Yup... And, of course grant the subject “super jumps,” the ability to project oneself cosmically, and the proportional strength, speed and agility of a lemur. Oh, and a lobster-claw hand.

Researchers also routinely make chimeras -- animals that contain the genetic material from more than one individual. These include animals that carry human genes, most commonly mice engineered with human genes that are used to study disease.
I guess that’s it. I better get started learning karate and giving myself radiation treatments, after all, somebodies gotta fight these guys. Hmmm, I wonder if I should wait for them to make a gibbon-man and then just have him bite me…

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