How To Make Bush Look Good

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It is a difficult prospect to wrap your brain around. How could Bush possibly look like a good president ever again? The answer is simple. It has been sitting right in front of us the entire time. Dennis Milligan, the new chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party, broke it down.
He said he’s “150 percent” behind Bush on the war in Iraq.

“At the end of the day, I believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001 ], and the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country,” Milligan said.

Um, wait. Doesn’t that mean Bush would have failed? Give me a minute for me to figure this out. So, you’re saying that if terrorists kill people in the US, then we should thank our lucky asses that Bush was in office? But Bush said he was fighting them over there so that they don’t kill us here. And what about the dead people? Should they be mad at Clinton?

I’m going to create a scenario here in hopes of wrapping my brain around this. Okay, I’m a guy living in Bend, Indiana. I work at Dunkin’ Donuts. Two kids. I complain to all the guys at the bar about my wife but I love her dearly because I have low self-worth and don’t think anyone else would take me. We are both fat.

I originally supported Bush because he looked good on the news and he said he was going to get those fuckers who attacked our towers. They attacked America, even though it was the part full of queers and Jews, I was still pretty pissed. So we invaded Afghanistan because they attacked us. Then we invaded Iraq because they attacked us. But then we started losing and I got bummed out. We’re supposed to win! And fast, like a couple of weeks. Bing, bang, in - out. That's how war is now. I don’t like losing. Now I don’t like Bush. But at least he kept them terrorists from killing anyone here. I still don’t think he’s a good president, though.

BOOM! Holy shit! They blew up the Staples Center in Los Angeles. I’m pissed, even though it was full of queers and Jews. Bush just came on the TV and said he was going to get those fuckers! Hell, yes, he is. And I support him fully. As a matter of fact, I was wrong about not supporting Bush and now I…
believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I…appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country.

Sometimes I put three dot in, like this...when I talk. I don’t know why I do that. Anyway, when the fuck is the greatest president ever going to bomb Iran?

Oh. That does work.

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